Am I a rebound or is it real?

i have known this guy since the 8th grade and we are now 21. He just got out of a two year relationship which he ended. He says he is over it and her. But he still wants her in his life and to be his friend. He still texts her, like once or twice a week. They have been broken up for a month. We started dating after two weeks of them being broken up. It was a random decision that felt right. He tells me how much he likes me, we see each other all of the time, he brought me to his house to meet his family on Christmas and now I've met all of his friends. His friends are still friends with her, and so is his family. It is a little awkward but we all get along. Does it sound like we will last or is he rushing into this because he still isn't over his ex and is misplacing his feelings? HELP!

Updates:
also, when going through his texts with her. I know he got jealous when a guy friend she has had since high school came around and wanted to get coffee with her, because his and ex and this guy used to like each other in high school. and scott (my boyfriend) told her he didn't want to her go. so then months later I wanted to get coffee with scott and he ended up saying no. well after reading the texts I know why. he asked her and she said "why do you get to have friends that are girls but I
can't have guy friends?" and he said "because you guys liked each other and I have never liked sara. ever" and she said "has she liked you?" and he said "probably.." and she said "haha that means yes. well you can go but taht means I get to also" then a few hours later he text her about it again saying "i won't go. if it makes you nearly as uncomfortable as the idea of you and your guy friend getting coffee makes me...then no. she isn't worth it." and then they joked around and he told her
Monday-we were still just friends but he was flirting with her and texting her and they talked about them having sex and her boobs and how amazing he thinks they are

Tuesday- she tells him she can't be his friend. he gets mad. she later tags herself with said guy friend he doesn't like

Wednesday- he tags us watching breaking bad which is apparently the show they used to watch and we start dating

Friday- she tells him she is seeing someone and he puts in a relationship on Facebook

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Answer your own question: Why would he bother wasting his time to introduce you to his family/friends, if he didn't want to keep you around for long term.

    Still no conclusion? Second point:

    How long was his last relationship? Would you consider that to be a "one night stand" or someone who WAS interested in settling down, even though it didn't work out in the long term.

    Still no conclusion?

    Has this man given you a reason to assume he's full of deceit (lies)? If not, it sounds like he's sincere and is truly interested in having you as a long term partner. (As per my own opinion)

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • my friends keep saying maybe he is trying to replace his ex and is rushing things to bring on that feeling he used to have by hanging out with his ex and all of his friends. my friends are telling me to be careful because I've liked for since the 8th grade and he has never liked me back until now. we have been dating for two weeks. I am very happy but it all feels so rushed. you really don't think I have ANYTHING to worry about? he still talks to her and flirts with her via text...

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    • Are you dating him or your friends? My advice is to ignore what the hell they are saying and start behaving based off of your own feelings; think for yourself. If I was in your shoes, I'd be more concerned with the boyfriend flirting with his ex via text - moreso - than whether or not things are being rushed. If he is truly over her, then he needs to end the midnight conversations with her.

    • he text her on Christmas. she was one of the first people he text and he made a joke with her. and she said merry Christmas back and sent him picture of their cats. and then she stopped responding and he sent her 5 texts over the course of a few hours and thanked her again for the Christmas present (star wars series on blu ray) she got him which they exchanged a month ago when they broke up. they haven't text since and she ignored all of his other texts.

What Guys Said 2

  • Your relationship seems a bit quick after his previous break up but it is possible that he was actually fully over his ex by the time he started your relationship. His commitment to you over the next few months should be telling of how he feels about you. I wouldn't consider this a rebound situation yet, but be cautious that he doesn't just try to get back with his ex. If his texting to her turns into more, that would be a bad sign. Hopefully that isn't the case since he's known you a while.

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    • he says he is over her but I went through his phone and saw his texts with her before they broke up. he seemed more into her than she was at times. I shouldn't have done that but I was curious about their relationship because he refuses to tlak about it. he texts her a lot when they do text. like he texts 4 or 5 times when she stops responding. and they got into a two hour long fight on the phone the other day. but he seems so happy with me...is it real or is he just confused and trying new

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    • i added one more update!

      it was back in the summer when this happened. when she told him it was really inconsiderate of him to post pictures of him with me on Facebook less than two weeks after they broke up he said "well you were posting sh*t with *said guy friend* so I don't see why you care" and she later asked if he cared that she was seeing him, he said "no, I couldn't care any less" and he also told her he didn't like me until two days before. is he just lying to her?

    • Sounds like a lot of drama!

      For now I'd just ignore the drama between him in his ex. I doubt he would tell anything truthful about your relationship to his ex. So as long as he treats you well when he's with you, all of that stuff with his ex doesn't matter.

  • It seems like your boyfriend is keeping his ex in his life is because he probley still likes her and wants to get back with her in the future, cause my ex broke up with me and didn't want me out her life

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