How bad is it to text a guy first? Any examples where it worked out?

It technically wouldn't be the first, he texted me Merry Christmas! last week, but I work with him & while he's a very confident guy with others he's very shy, awkward & quiet with me. I wanna talk to him but I'm scared that once I text him first It'll start a cycle, he'll lose interest or think I'm too easy or not go out of his way to text me or he'll automatically assume he's "got me" and the chase will be gone.

I don't really need advice on what to do...I just want to hear from girls and guys any stories on the girl texting a guy & it working out


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its okay if you initiate the texting! But if he's truly interested in you he will then take the lead and start and carry conversations with you. Also, be careful of those office romances, many workplaces are fishbowls when it comes to that, no privacy at all.. That;s why some employers frown upon it and some outright forbid it. Best of luck.

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    • I dunno.. For me.. If it is'nt close to 50-50, and I'm always the one initiating.. I get bored and move on. Not far for the guy to make all the effort.

What Guys Said 3

  • It isn't at all. Where the hell did you get the idea that texting a guy makes you look desperate/clingy/look bad? lol Women these days that never tried initiating.. XD

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    • My dad told me not to text him. That the guy will get all cocky and think he owns me or "has" me & then get bored and leave

    • You're dad is old-fashioned. In this day and age.. I dont' see why a girl shouldn't initiate once in a while. hell, I'd love to keep it near 50-50, if possible.

      And get this.. I've been talking to a girl for 3 weeks over text back and forth. She shows that she likes me over her texts, but she never initiates texts with me. So I decided to test her and see if she will ever reply back. It's been 3 days. How is that fair for me? I can say she is getting cocky, so I'm going to test her.

    • I wish people would stop being so old-fashioned, and believe in mutual respect and equality.

      If he looks like a sweet decent guy (isn't a player), I don't see how it could be a problem to initiate him. IF you initiate all the time, then yeah.. He might get used to that. But you aren't. Just do it every now and then, and build up to 50/50.

      In my position, I'm the one initiating all the time, and it's frustrating. She's not putting any effort in initiating, and that's making me wanna move on.

  • I've been the guy in this exact situation. I did text a woman that and I'm awkward and shy around her, but fine around everyone else. I would love it if she texted me first. If anything, my interest would go up. She'll lose me if I feel like I'm the only one putting effort in. So, yes, text him. You'll make him happy.

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  • It's fine

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What Girls Said 1

  • i'd text Happy New Year! if you initiate texting way more often than the guy you'll seem clingy but you should sometimes initiate. otherwise he'll think you're not interested at all. good luck ;)

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