Now when he flirts with me I just ignore it. Is this shallow?

I met this guy on fb. He seemed really sweet. I really liked him so we decided to meet. When I saw him in real life he looked totally different then his fb pics. He was really sexy and in shape in his pics and when I met him he was fat. Like he gained a lot of weight or something. He looked totally unattractive TO ME. he seems really interested in me and we used to flirt on fb. Now when he flirts with me I just ignore it. Is this shallow? I think he wants to hang out again, but I really don't want to. What should I do!?!? :/

Updates:
Just to clear things up he was the same guy as in the pics. They weren't photoshopped either. Most of them were of him wrestling in school. E was really muscular and fit. Now he is really fat. I guess they were from a year or so ago?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its having standards when you're the one being shallow.

    Its being shallow when someone else has standards.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It's false advertisement. You're not shallow at all.

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  • I think it's better to just say you didn't click in person. Be gentle be honest. Guys will understand unless he is immature. Don't feel bad I think that has happend to everyone at one point. Ummmm by the way do I look fat in my pics? LOL :P

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    • No. You aren't fat. This guy was pretty muscular in his pics. And when I met him he was all flab. Like two chins and stuff. :P your good though

  • You were interested in him because of his looks and body, now you're not interested in him because he lost his looks and body. Doesn't make you a bad person, but it does make you shallow without a doubt.

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  • No if you aren't attracted you aren't attracted. But stop ignoring him or he's gonna keep trying. you have to be straight up with him and tell him that you aren't interested in him anymore.

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  • You were flirting with him because you thought he was hot, it's shallow

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  • This has happend to me before. If your not attracted to the person then you never will be but don't be rude about that, that is messed up to just ignore him. He still is interestead in you and he believes you are interestead in him, you are just going to have to say sorry but I don't find you physicialy attractive.

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    • I was suggesting this girl to tell the guy that at least it is being honest and not leaving them up in the air making them think that you still might like them

    • I agree. anyways she used to. he should know he was attractive.

What Girls Said 4

  • No your not shallow if you don't want a romantic relationship with him. You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone and he tricked you. Those picture's could have been photo shopped or taken years ago. I will give you some advice though. In the future make sure you video chat with the person before you get close to them or want to meet them. It would be mean to not want to be friends at least. You should just tell him that your not looking for a boyfriend right now and that you just want to be friend's.

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    • she doesn't have to friend's with him, that would just be out of pity.. unless she actually wants a friendship with him..

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    • Well.. I think she should be honest. She said they flirted- that's out. They were not bosom buddies.. there's not much to stand on.

      imo You guys should avoid getting personal. A healthy debate over your ideas -fine. Why go calling bitch or ugly or anything that is

      #1 your subjective opinion (other people might like the things you hate. )

      #2 possibly irrevocable.

      I'm sure neither of you care - but the way I see it- its the internet. Why not just stick to things that affect u.-like thoughts.

    • Yeah thanks for the tip "TooLoose" I just decoded your username by the way so its not a misspelling LOL. Why do you care anyways what two other people you don't know talk about. It has nothing to do with you.

  • Its not shallow, you can't help it. I have dated people I wasn't physically attracted to just because I thought I was being shallow and it didn't work out because I just couldn't force it. You shouldn't have to force yourself to be attracted whether its physically or otherwise. He obviously knows he's let himself go if he has his old pics up on Facebook, and not recent ones. But you shouldn't feel bad about it, I just would be more cautious when meeting people via Facebook.

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    • I can totally relate, physical attraction is so important, you can't just push that part aside

  • haha girl if you're not attracted to him you're not attracted to him. I meant this guy when I was drunk and he was really awesome and cute, we texted for months until I asked for a pic and WOW dude was butt ugly, I cut all contact after that, yea it was mean, but why waste your time letting him down easy, just move on, you weren't dating you know, he will move on too.

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    • She should at least be upfront with him, any other way would be cruel imho

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    • o no you didn't talk bout ma mama! ITS ON! ha ha naw, for real, stop talking to me.

    • Dude. Again. Shut the f*** up and leave me the f*** alone. Like seriously.

  • Hey love I think that guys that post a pic of them on Facebook that aren't really them are idiots because if you like the sound of the person but don't know what they look like then you wanna see them am I right. But sometimes you have to be careful of things like this because there are a lot of men and women out there that do this then you meet up with them and it's not them its sort of like false advertisement in a way so you don't sound shallow at all hope this helps

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