Is it unreasonable to date someone if you have no car?

Ran into this just recently. was talking to an older woman, we were getting along GREAT until she found out about 2 weeks later that I don't own a car. Does this scream of sexism? to me it does. Am I wrong, or was she?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all. I'm dating a guy that doesn't have a car and I do. but that said, I live in the suburbs and he's in the city so he has no need for a car and I do. he rides his bike everywhere. when we hang out, either he takes the train out to see me and I pick him up at the station and we go to my apartment, or I drive into the city and we hang out there though parking is a bitch

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What Girls Said 11

  • Honestly? At your age? Not owning a car screams "loser" in a sense. I don't know what your situation is, but depending on where you live (Ohio?), if it's difficult to get around without a car, it screams dependency and all that bs (unless you have really good public transport). Oh, so and so can't get around because they have to rely on everyone else to take them everywhere? Not very appealing. I've known guys and girls who are like this and while some of the situations are understandable, it can be a real hassle on others to constantly give them rides everywhere. ESPECIALLY if they aren't getting a car or even bothering to do so.

    Guys aren't the only ones wary of gold diggers/getting into relationships where the other is going to be more of a responsibility than a relationship. If she did it for superficial reasons when you gave valid reasons for your situation, then that sucks. But I know it's a huge turn off to meet a guy who can't really be self sufficient. Especially at your age. It's hard enough to survive out there economically anymore. I don't have the time or resources to take on someone like that.

    Before the egos pop in- I believe in the same outlook for women. Personally, I'd rather be self sufficient than have some guy pay for everything. ANY relationship where one is mooching off the other is just bs. My brother is currently dating a girl with no job or car. Her situation is kind of iffy due to some factors, but he's always having to drive all over the place to get her and go places, on top of paying for everything. :/ It's nice of him to want to help her out, but she needs to get her ass in gear and find a job.

    However, you didn't elaborate on why you don't own a car or what your situation is, so I'm not sure if her response was "sexist" or not.

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  • I think perhaps she should consider getting a car, if it such a big issue. It a girl doesn't hold a licence or own a car, she shouldn't expect her boyfriend to possess them. If she does then it perhaps she should consider transporting him it, I don't see why guys still have to provide these services considering I am not entirely sure what girls are offering in return.

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    • i agree.

    • She does own a car. But she actually felt I HAVE to own one, too. I honestly don't see why I HAVE to.

    • I do not think you HAVE to own one. She is possibly thinking about social expectations, which if this is the case I think it is a pretty archaic approach. The only reason she could have to be upset is if your absence of car requires her to transport you places, which (and I feel the same for a guys perspective), she should not be obliged to. However, if this is not the case, then in my opinion the problem is with her, not with you.

  • it is...but maybe she just wants to know the guy can come pick her up to...in dating it feels like nice when a guy comes picks you up ...i have a car and I've been in a relationship where the guy didn't have one, and I understand not everyone can afford a car but it's a drag to have to pick him up and drop him home all the time...is it so bad to want to be driven ?...she should not judge you on not having a car it's her loss that's shallow but I know where she is coming from

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  • it's a big deal to me.. then again I'm in America and everything's sop spread out compared to other countries you kinda need a car to get anywhere.. like dates.. I don't know how u'd go out on a date if he didn't have a vehicle.. but I'm sure it just depends where you live and accessibility of things.

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  • Well its annoying if she has to come pick you up everywhere, but if you use public trans anywhere you want to meet then she shouldn't have a problem.

    I went on a date with a kid who lived about 45 min away, and I had to pick him up, bring him back to our date spot closer to my house, bring him all the way home, then drive myself home. It was the most annoying thing I've dealt with in the dating scene, so if she has to drive you around everywhere then no it isn't sexist it's just annoying.

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  • Well it depends...A car is nice to have but if the transit is awesome than it really doesn't matter and you always have funny stories to gain from taking the subway together lol or the bus :D On the other hand if its hard to get around I think I would have an issue lol but than again I would hope I would have a car if the transit did suck lol

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    • we both live in a suburban area. and live like a block away from each other. she seems awesome, but also kind of shallow if this sort of thing bothers her that much. at least to me she does.

  • I dated a guy for a couple years, and he didn't even have his license. It sucked, a lot. Having to do the driving/picking him up/taking him places all the time is pretty lame. Ideally, it's better if both the man and woman have a car. Doing the driving all the time isn't cool. It may seem sexist, but I do like when a guy has the ability to pick me up and drive me some place, it's nice. After dealing with the relationship I was just in, a car is a must.

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  • Sounds like you're better off without her if she's going to judge your worth on the basis of owning a car...totally ridiculous! But then again I live in London, no need for cars.

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  • She is in the wrong and very sexist.

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  • not having a car is nt bad. some women have different standards and for a man to have a car it means he has power. we like to be treated like a special woman and that usually includes picking her up from her place with your car.

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  • I've heard this often, that women reject guys who don't have a car. I guess it always depends on the reasons why someone doesn't have a car. I live in a country with really good public transport so there is no requirement for a car, hence it's not considered weird or unusual if one doesn't have one. But in certain other countries I guess a car is a must and maybe that's why to some women it's so important. Either way, I can't imagine losing interest in someone only because he doesn't have a car. I mean everyone can get a car, and most people can get their licence, so it's not like it says anything about you as a person.

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    • No, not everyone can get a car. They sort of need money to do so. Cars ARE expensive. :p

    • Well, seeing how both the Question Asker and I are in our 30s I'd say it's very unlikely that someone our age can't get some sh*tty car if they really want to. They might have to miss out on other things but if someone really wants one it's not so expensive to get a second-hand car. Assuming people actually work, which doesn't seem to be very trendy these days.

What Guys Said 5

  • She is not wrong, just shallow and materialistic.

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  • It's not unreasonable, but very difficult to date someone without a car. Without a car you cannot take her out on dates and such.

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  • Depends on the situation. If it means that a longer term thing would be difficult without a car, then maybe. Otherwise, could be a little sexist, but in this day and age, probably not.

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    • she seemed to act like I was going to ask her for rides. This was definitely NOT the case.

    • Ha, my ex girlfriend loved driving around, most people I know love driving. Ah- offer to pay petrol... well if it goes any further and she takes you anywhere...

  • yes, yes it is

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  • What a ****

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