Girls, I need help choosing a guy!

I'm dating casually right now, as in, it's understood that the dating between one guy and I is not exclusive. I'm dating three guys right now. Two are already out of the picture, for permanency. One is an avid hunter, and I'm an animal rights activist. The other, asked me to be his actual girlfriend tonight, is simply a physical thing, at least for me. But I can't spend much time aroun him because he truly irritates the crap out of me, though he's a nice guy. So that brings me own to an ex, and the third guy I'm seeing. Of course, they happen to have the same first name, too lol.

My ex treated me well for the most part, unless he was drunk. And he dumped me in a pretty bad way.

The other is such a sweet guy, we've gone on four dates now, he's a complete gentleman, and I'm not used to such chivalry!

I know the answer is glaringly obvious, but what would you do in this situation? I am quite tempted to give my ex another chance, because I do love him. But I simply adore this other guy. When is too much for staying in touch with exes?

Just looking for opinions on this certain situation. Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your ex is a drunk. It's foolish to go back to a drunk -- he had his chance with you. Avoid drunks.

    Go with the gentlemen. Women are always complaining about the lack of gentlemen in the world. Don't be a typical girl and pick the heartbreaking bad boy drunk over the good guy.

    If you go back to the ex, you'll be here in 6 months, asking how to persuade this great gentleman to give you another chance after you stepped over him to go back to a freaking drunk.

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    • While I appreciate your comment, and the (very valid) points you made, I do take some offense to the term you're using, and the crass tone of the comment. We all have our flaws. It's a matter of if you're willing to try to correct those flaws for everyone's benefit. He's willing to go through treatment, and his whole family is behind him. But again, I don't want to lose a great guy. I guess all I can look at is what he's doing to quit drinking, and start living right. If nothing, then he's out.

    • I'm the only non-drinker in a family of drunks. I chose "drunk" specifically for its impact.

      Yes, alcoholism and addiction are serious medical problems & need substantial help to overcome. I've read books & medical journal articles about it.

      But also, drunks are drunks. They will *routinely* drag you down with them. You *will* lose, emotionally or financially. Especially if you're co-dependent and think you can fix 'em, or that your love will empower them. That's unhealthy.

      Good luck.

    • Also:

      Is he in treatment *now and today*, or is he *willing* to enter treatment at a vague, undefined future point?

      Addicts are often *extremely* persuasive liars. And they're accustomed to *innumerable* second chances from people who keep rescuing them from the consequences of their behavior.

What Guys Said 1

  • Oh please don't tell me your into PETA, unless it stands for People Eating Tasty Animals. But PETA , peta are you kidding me, those people who run that joint are one step away from the looney bin. I myself am I a hunter yes I have animal heads on my walls but I do care about some animals, I have a dog. But probably not a good idea to get into a relationship with a hunter if your a PETA lover. My ex was kind of like that and she would tell me not to hunt and I would say tough and I would go anyway, but that's just me, yeah that relationship didn't last very long.

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    • Just because I'm an activist doesn't mean I support PETA. As for the hunter, I believe to each his own. Just because I personally could never shoot an animal, doesn't give me the right to preach to others who believe differently. I only mentioned that to show how ill matched we were; not to start a debate. I don't force my beliefs on others, as long as they don't force theirs on me. This guy was a great guy, but I just couldn't be with a hunter long term. Never happen.

What Girls Said 1

  • i think if you feel its right then try giving your ex another chance, just don't get so emotionaly involved with him that you get hurt again, try putting a time limit on it, or just stay casaul with both untill you feel the time is right to make a decesion

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    • I like your answer. The problem with keeping them both casual, is that they're both starting to press for something more solid. My ex has even been talking marriage, and he's willing to go through treatment. I just loathe the thought of having a ton of regret if I let the good guy go. *sigh* Whoever said women had it EASY?! lol

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