How to communicate negative emotions with dating?

I been talking to this girl for about 3 and a half months now but I've known her for about 4 months now. The problem is we are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. During the course of one of our conversations I asked her if she was still figuring out if she liked me to the point of being her boyfriend. She said she wasn't figuring it out anymore but just double checking. She used the analogy of finishing a school exam but going over the answer to make sure everything's okay.

Now I don't have much relationship experience but just a couple thing:

a) Is the double checking thing normal or reasonable I should say? I don't mind waiting but I just don't want to waste my time, hence it been almost 4 months. I feel like we should be making some moves by now. You have and advice? insight?

b) this pretty much tags on to part a. Like in part a I said I don't mind waiting but it makes me feel insecure( because of past experiences of being in similar situations and it never happening) that she still double checking 4 months down the line. Thus this feeling is making me feel like I shouldn't close off other girl as I have. Do you think it's okay for me to talk to other girls and how to communicate that to the girl I'm talking to now? If it's not okay how would you react to this situation. Is it just a matter of waiting? what's your insight?

Again I don't have much relationship experience ( thought I'd put that out there so people take me seriously.)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • a. no. I have never been in a situation where I need to double check. I mean, I don't even know what she means by that. if she isn't sure about you at this point after dating so long, she's never going to be sure because you're not the one for her, but she also doesn't want to be alone so she strings you along. is that what you want? you need to tell her, "look, I like you. and you need to decide if this is what you want. it's a simple yes or no question." and if her answer is still she needs more time, then you need to walk out because she isn't into you

    b. yes, definitely talk to other girls because I promise you she's talking to other guys and checking out her options. she might even have another guy she likes better that she's waiting for. and if he wants her, then bye to you and if he doens't want her, then you're her second option.

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    • a) how could I tell her that we aren't dating anymore in such a way that we could still be cool friends. I like her a person so hopefully we can still talk.

      b)Is there a way to correctly communicate to her that I am going to start engagine with other girls? (meaning we can still talk but I will also be talking to other girls?)

What Girls Said 1

  • i think tthis dble checking thing is an excuse she is definitely talking to somebody else,she keeps you because she is afraid th other guy might screw her up or she is stringing you along until she gets a man who is more appealling to her..

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    • Does this mean leave her alone or invistigate what's hendering our progress? That is, if something is hendering our progress

    • I would investigate her like check her phone or something when she's not looking

What Guys Said 3

  • wtf man? Double checking, seeing romance as and exam?!? This does not bode well in my books. A good relationship should be romantic, not study, my advice, avoid ever discussing a relationship with a woman verbally again! Just see where things go and always progress physically, did you at least sleep with this girl already?

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    • no no no... I think she was saying that for clarity reasonings not that she views the relationships as a exam. lol Does this change what you said? I kind of embarrased to say this but no I have not slept with her but we have humped like 3 times and one of them I was naked. (embarrassing I know lol). She usually lets me play/suck on her breast but she's never naked.

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    • senses, or, more likely you will find someone new and a lot better for you.

    • ok thanks

  • errrmm yea.. I'm not sure about this girl bro. good luck. seems like a headache waiting to happen to me.

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  • It sounds like she's made up her mind man and she just wants to make sure you're not going to hurt her or break out on her when she gives in. If she see or know that you're talking to other girls she might think you're not serious about being with her. If you talk to other girls you could blow things with her, but if she is playing you then you could be waiting for no reason, you have to figure out on your own if she's worth the wait, or if the wait is worth the reward.

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