When you're first dating....

When you're first dating, how into each others' stories should you permit yourselves to go? I was taught not to "air out my dirty laundry" (i.e., offload all my problems) onto people you don't know, but a guy I am starting to see is REALLY into telling me all about his issues. Telling him too much hasn't been an issue because he's so busy offloading all his stuff. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but how much is too much?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Good question. My ex never stopped. As soon as I got home from work, I had to hear for an hour about how her boss was mean to her, how her coworkers were mean, then she'd act out every person's part to demonstrate in detail how they were mean.

    It wore me down.

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    • See, that's what I would think! When I was a kid, one of the first things we learned was not to drag Mom and Dad down with our issues just as they walk in the door. Give them space to chill out, THEN tell one story at a time. Think of at least one good thing to report, and anything major that you learned.

      This is like playing counselor...for free and without a permit. Sigh.

      I want to be there for him, but there's no real room for me with all the baggage that's already there...

      What to do?

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    • I wouldn't. You'll just be opening up a Pandora's Box.

    • You're right. Thanks. :-)

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