Ok, so when I started working in my new job my superviser would always flirt with me and be where ever ill be then 3 months into that I ended up giving him my number so we started hanging out but one day I just ended up drinking a little to much that I was drama all night so after that we hanged out once nd I saw text messages him telling his friends that he took my virginity and that he doesn't know if we were going out or not and that I wasn't coming around anymore and so I got mad because he was just saying lies so I asked him to take me home and he got mad and so that night he text me saying he didn't mean to hurt me but he told me from the begining he didn't want a girlfriend nd I said OK let's just be friends and so it was just awkward at work he would act like nothing happened and he wouldn't talk to as much but than after he would tell me he was gonna give me my sweater that I left but he never did even though he would tell me like everyday and than time passed by and I told him I had a boyfriend and after I said that his been talking to me a lot interested about my boyfriend so much asking me all these questions and after I told him I broke up with him somehow me and him started talking bout being friends with benefits I agreed to it because I have a crush on him and I'm hoping maybe he starts liking me but he is that guy that just wants to bang every girl and he told me I can't get mad if he gets a girlfriend or his talking to other girls I'm acting like idc care but deep inside I do so am I doing a mistake by doing this?
Most Helpful Guy
I say this over and over and over again...
GIRLS: if you like a guy, meaning you have feelings for him, and you want a relationship with him, you must, MUST secure the relationship BEFORE you have sex with him! You KNOW this, but you break this rule all the time, and then pretend like you've never heard it before. This rule was invented BY women FOR women.
Why does it exist? It's because long ago, some smart women figured out that a whole bunch of men aren't looking for a relationship AT ALL. It doesn't matter how pretty the girl is, or how nice she is, or how good she is in bed, etc., the guy simply doesn't want to be tied down by the responsibilities and obligations of a relationship, with anyone. And guys who feel this way therefore only want sex, and if you make them wait very long, they'll lose interest in you and find a more likely target. Using the relationship requirement and holding off on sex for a little while is an excellent way to filter out the vast majority of these guys. But girls don't like to follow this plan, because it tends to filter out the hottest, most exciting guys. True, but it also prevents you from getting hurt much worse.
The other type of guy is the guy who IS interested in a relationship, and is just trying to find the right girl. The problem is that if you sleep with THAT guy outside of a relationship, he's going to assume, despite your protests to the contrary, that you do that with other guys too, and he won't take you seriously. He won't consider you "relationship material". Oh, he'll be happy to keep sleeping with you as long as you let him, but it's NEVER going to develop into a relationship.
If a relationship is what you want, then you have to get that relationship BEFORE you have sex. It's as simple as that. You can break the rules all you want, but you'll only hurt yourself by doing so, because you'll never get what you really want that way.
Then there is the issue of dating a co-worker. It's common, since so many of us spend so much time at work, and build social circles there, but it's still a bit dangerous, because let's face it: most relationships fail, and then you're stuck working with that person. For that reason, IF you're going to date a co-worker, it is VERY important that you stick to people OUTSIDE your own department. And no matter WHAT, you must absolutely, positively NEVER date someone who is in your chain of command. That's an excellent way to end up with a lawsuit or on the unemployment line. And, yes, that really DOES happen, every single day.
We all get that you have feelings, but you've broken every possible rule, and are already going to be very hurt when this ends, but you are continuing to dig your own hole deeper every day that you let it continue.0