What do you mean 'The right girl'?

Never had a girlfriend and I get jealous when I see/hear about couples.

People on here tell me that "I just haven't found the right girl yet."

Are they implying that there's only one out there for me? AND that there's only one type of girl that would want date me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • They just mean you haven`t met someone who you could truly love yet. (You will.) I know the jealousy feeling, I`m often used as a third wheel. You will find a girl you`ll really care about, and you`ll date. Sometimes it just takes time.

    They`re not implying that only one girl could love you, nor that you`re only attractive to one type.

    It`s just a common form of encouragement, for us single people, that couples use.

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    • How do you know that I will? That sounds like a promise. I could just as easily not meet someone ever.

    • I have yet to meet the person that has never found anyone that they love.

      It`s a ridiculous promise, yes, but it`s most likely one that will be upheld.

      If you want to meet someone, you can .

    • Yes, I can MEET someone and LOVE them, but my feelings may never be reciprocated. At least for 100% of my past experiences.

      I'm not trying to be an ass, but it's a frustrating situation for me to be in because it affects my self worth.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There's no other way to explain it really.

    Just that there's a girl out there that is right for you. someone you'll click with. Maybe you just haven't met yet.

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What Guys Said 3

  • IMO, people who say that are sending completely the wrong message (to someone who has never had a GF).

    They are reinforcing the FALSE and LOSING concept that there is only one girl out there for you. The fact is that there are tens or even hundreds of thousands of potential girlfriends out there for you.

    The problem is you and your approach (much of which was learned from other people who don't understand how it all works). Right now, you have NO EXPERIENCE with women, or with YOURSELF in a relationship, so how could you REALLY know what you want and need? The answer is, you can't. The only way to learn that is by having multiple relationships with different people and learning from each one of them. In other words, you need to date.

    But you've been trained to hunt and pick out ONE girl, and focus all your energies on her. You're like a fisherman trolling the ocean for one specific fish; you'd starve to death. Successful fishermen put out big nets and scoup up huge quantities of fish, and then once they're on the boat, he can sort through them and throw back the ones he's not interested in. Successful daters do much the same thing.

    The first step to successful dating is to start asking out girls. Not just A girl, but LOTS of girls. See, most of them are going to say "no". Either they have a boyfriend, aren't looking for a relationshp, only date a certain type of guy, just aren't into you, or whatever. And that's FINE. The idea is that you keep going, asking the next girl and the next girl and the next, until you get a "yes".

    Now, you're going to say "but I'm not in LOVE with THAT girl!", and I'm going to say "you're right". But it doesn't matter. We're not trying to find the mother of your children yet, we're just trying to get you comfortable dating women. It is NOT required that you have a 5-year, super-serious relationship with every girl you ask on a date!

    You've gotten a "yes", so you make plans to take her out and get to know her. Then, you go RIGHT BACK to asking out more girls! If you get another yes, plan a date with her, too, on another night. Then, keep asking more girls out!

    When date night rolls around, take the girl out, and TALK to her, and LISTEN to her. Maybe something will click, and maybe not. If not, be honest with her, tell you you had fun but you don't see it working out, but thanks for taking the time. And if it DOES click, then you can go for another date.

    The idea is to have many short, not-so-serious relationships so that you can get comfortable with girls, have some fun, learn to relax, and get over a lot of false assumptions you have. Once you can do this well, you can start being more picky about who you date, and look for longer relationships.

    Or you can keep doing what you've been doing. How's that working out for ya?

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    • and how do you go about "not trying too hard"? because I know that even if a guy is assertive, pro-active when approaching girls and asking them out, but is getting rejected, he very likely could be trying too hard, coming across as desperate, etc. I also know that every "No" means you are getting closer to a "Yes", but how do you correct your approaches when moving on to the next girl?

    • Show All
    • Same way. Practice with LOTS of girls. ALL of your issues will go away once you start doing this, because all of them come from lack of confidence and lack of experience. Do what I tell you, and you'll fix both at the same time.

    • thank you, I have to make this my new year's resolution

  • I don't think it means there is only one girl out there for you in the whole world. I think the statement is more implying that you haven't met a girl that is right for you. There's probably plenty. Still, the thing about finding "The right girl" is that it really IS hard to do. I mean you can find plenty of girls who want to date you. Probably more who just want sex, and kick you out the door when they've had their fun. Still it's not hopeless. It's just hard to find a really good one, just like it's hard for a girl to find a man who's right for them too.

    Yeah it does sound promising, but I can pretty much guarantee, that if you search hard enough, date around enough, and just in general try, and try hard, you CAN find someone. Yeah you can just as easily not find someone, especially with that attitude, because who honestly likes a sourpuss? And yeah especially if you don't want to try. But whatever. I think if you work at it, you can make your own destiny here.

    I've had a lot of bad relationships, unrequited loves, and bad luck, and like you, I felt like giving up many times, but I never really did. I had a few good relationships, at least for the most part, and right now I'm in the best relationship of my life. So good things CAN happen. Just keep at it. I know it's frustrating. I know it's hard. I know how bad it sucks. Just try not to give up though.

    In the mean time you probably have a lot more options than you realize. Think about it.

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  • i feel your pain, I guess the only way is to stay persistent

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