First off, my boyfriend (23) and I (22) have been together for 14 months.
My boyfriend dated this girl long distance like three years ago, they dated for about a year, but since he lives in ohio and she lives in Arkansas, they only got to see each other three times and broke it off because of the distance. He left his Facebook up when he left the room once and YES I snooped (yes, paranoia/curiosity got the best of me). He told her that he unfriended her just "for appearances" so that I wouldn't get mad (he asked me to unfriend an ex too), and continues to catch up with her. They type each other long paragraphs which I didn't fully read but did skim over. It seems like they aren't talking about any sexual or romantic, they are just catching up. They talk sporadically every few months or so. She actually messaged me once a while back saying that she means no harm in talking to him, she just wants to catch up with an old friend (apparently they've been online friends for like 8 years).
Also, he's told me that he holds a special place in his heart for her/has a soft spot for her, etc.
Well, I get it, no one REALLY gets over someone that they once loved/dated for a while. But I dunno, it still bothers me that he's talking to her.
Is there anything I should be worried about or am I just blowing this out of proportion?
Most Helpful Girl
You're blowing it out of proportion. You should not care if he is talking to her and controlling who he can and cannot talk to is a red flag to an abusive relationship. He has no interest in her, he's dating you, not her. he's not constantly telling you each time they talk because he probably figures you don't care about it or that you don't want to hear him talk about an ex. He shouldn't have to report to you every time he talks to a friend, that's crazy. Stop thinking of her as an ex, and just think of her as a friend. There's nothing suspicious going on between them, they're just friends.
The most important thing is that he is with you. If he liked her more than he likes you, he would dump you to be with her. And you can't choose who he likes or prevent it or anything. It just doesn't work like that.