Basically I want advice from girls (or successful guys) on how to make dates (especially coffe/lunch dates) go well for both of us and how to get her to like me. Is there any behavior I should do or avoid? Anything I should or shouldn't talk about? etc.
*****Background story if you want to read it...*****
I met and kissed a girl in a club before Christmas but I was seeing someone else so I didn't take it any further. She was a friend of a friend, we barely spoke, just danced with each other a bit then kissed... for about 15 minutes before I decided I shouldn't take it any further.
A week later (after 'breaking up' with the other girl) we went out for coffee... basically a date. We chatted for about an hour. There were one or 2 awkward silences and it ended with a very awkward hug. Overall I don't think it went that well, but I learned that she had a lot of the same interests as me and seemed pretty cool so I text her asking her out for dinner. She said she was too busy for dinner but could maybe do lunch one day the next week. I thought maybe she wasn't interested but said that she should let me know when she was free for lunch. I never heard anything from her about lunch so I assumed she didn't like me at all and didn't pursue it any more.
At 11pm on Friday night she text me saying "Everyone won't stop talking about you tonight! Ha ha hope you had a good break x". It turned out she'd been with the same friends she had been with on the night that we met and they'd been laughing about us 2 kissing. I asked if she wanted to go out for lunch and she said yes. So basically, it's kind of a second date, but a long time after the first one!
On the first date and whenever we've text, I found it a bit difficult because she didn't really ask me questions. For example, I asked what she was studying, what she was doing for Christmas etc and she didn't ask me any of those questions. Sometimes I'd just tell her anyway just to make conversation because if not there was just an awkward silence. So overall I felt that I was talking about myself when she wasn't really interested and I was asking her loads of questions almost like I was interrogating her, but I just was trying to fill the silences.
So firstly I'm wanting any general advice you can give me on how to make her like me (because I really do think that we could get on really well and we have A LOT in common) so we can hopefully go on a few more date. And secondly, I'm particularly wanting advice on things to talk about and how to make the conversation flow more smoothly; if I should talk about myself when she doesn't ask and if I should keep asking her questions or what?
If you've read all this then thanks, I look forward to hearing your answers :)
So thank you all, I'm a very happy man :)
Most Helpful Guy
Well I did read the entire post and I wish you luck. I'm not too happy to have read about you making out with this girl while you were seeing someone else but that is for another post. I'm also not a big fan of relationships starting at a club, but I know that isn't what you want to hear.
As for the lunch date, I suggest being yourself. It just seems like such a waste to work on a facade when (if things go well) she will eventually learn the real you anyway. If you have common interest, bring them up! :P "So I hear you are into ____ too."
Her not bothering to ask you questions the first time around could have been any number of things including shyness, a lack of interest, or just social awkwardness. I'd suggest using this second date to judge whether or not she vibes with you or is just passing the time. Maybe use your common interest as a platform for a third outing "We should check out ___ next week."