Okay, first of all, I think the reason you haven't heard it from someone your age is because were just too nervous to say something like that. Older guys are more comfortable and have more experience with women. Second I think your dwelling way to much on the whole thing. You don't just go out and find a boyfriend. Just make some guy friends and start from there. Like you said your in college you don't have to look very far Just let things go, it will work itself out on its own. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but it turned out that I fell in love with a friend from high school. I didn't pick her, it just happened.
honestly, I think you should go out more places and hang out with ya friends, go to the movies or have little gatherings. going to sites to find someone is not healthy, trust me. you would find some of thee most weirdest men alive! lol but yeaa I think if you go out more places, be more of a socially person, and dress attractive or just join activities, I think you will find someone that's more on your level. you sed you are shy? just b make your personality be more open. you try that and then guys will start to notice something about you.
Its alright to be shy, and btw that's hilarious (pedo-bait). So yea its a tad akward that ur 20 and haven't gotten anywhere but maybe guys are intimidated by you? good looks can make a guy very shy. If you find a guy that you like and wanna hang out or go on a mini date just say hey after class/late on tonite wanna go grab something to eat at ... (whatever is a cool place to eat where you go to college) From there you can move onto more comfort building situations such as dinner movies etc. Just open up a little more and ask, and the world will open up to you.
I'm in the exact same situation as you, except I wouldn't call it a situation because it's not a problem for me. Like you, I don't consider myself unattractive. I don't however have confidence issues. Society thrusts its rules upon people, and this causes them to feel stressed out and do things that they're not prepared to do. However these standards change and so I don't believe there's a point in anyone's life where they HAVE to do something.
A couple hundred years ago it would be normal for a girl to marry at around 12 years old. Is that the case now? Of course not. Maybe in time that age limit will rise and then being a virgin at 20 would be no biggie. I certainly don't make it an issue for myself.
If you feel like friending me, feel free. Since I'm in a similar position I don't mind offering support if you need it.
Good luck =).
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I think you should just relax. I know that's easier said than done. My first girlfriend was at age 19, and to be honest with you I'm glad it took that long, I wasn't mature enough or ready to be in a committed relationship. Everyone goes through these things at different times in life, so don't worry about missing things a 12 year old would do. I had my first kiss at 17, and to be honest I wish I waited longer so that it actually meant more than it did. Be patient and social, good things will come. Best of luck
Yeah it was an excellent article and it helped me feel better, but the only tip he gave was to not be shy. I mean, it's easier said than done. Being shy is just part of my personality because I'm an introvert. Isn't there a special way that shy girls can get boyfriends?
Shy girls can get boyfriends, but more often than not it's because they showed initial interest in the guy, and he picked up on it. I was very shy growing up and missed many opportunities with the opposite sex until my early 20's because of it, so I empathize with shyness - it can be a struggle sometimes. But if you see a guy you like, start a conversation - otherwise, they won't know you're interested in them.
Nah, don't cry if it doesn't work out - try not to put so much importance on the conversation. If you're not relaxed, it will show through and that's what you don't want. Just talk to the guy with no expected outcome in mind - starting a casual conversation with a smile and a polite "hello" or other introduction is a good bet. Good luck!
I'm pretty much like you in every way! Never been kissed, never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, I hate bars and clubs, no one at college even looks at me, terribly shy. etc. I don't know what we are doing wrong. You seem like a nice girl. Maybe you are just going to have to wait for guys your age to mature and realize that they don't want to mess with dem hos no more. I know though, it's not easy waiting. Especially because people in relationships are f***ing every where.
Good luck :) I hope you find someone.
0
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Yeah, waiting sucks. I've been patient long enough.
I am 26 & never had any girlfriend. I have similar issues. I look ugly. However, I don't think you are ugly. At least someone tells you that you are beautiful. No one tells me this. Not even once has anyone hinted that they are interested in me. . Probably I should give up on girls. It hurts to see every friend of yours having a partner except you.
You shouldn't say you're ugly about yourself. Maybe it is that attitude which prevents you from finding a partner? Would you work as a sales person and sell a laundry machine with the slogan "It's not a good machine"??
I had created a reality check here. Before coming to this site, I didn't knew that I looked ugly. The 4 girls gave me poor rating. One or 2 girls giving me poor rating would have been fine. but 4 different girls ? Surely I don't look good. Previously the profile photo was mine and now it is not. You can't change how you look.
And for your kind information, it is certainly not my attitude and/or my self esteem. You tell me, why do girls (of my choice) never like me ?
I have a lot of girl friends but none of them is interested in me as a partner. ? How come ? I am a nice guy, I have many qualities which many girls want in a man, yet I don't have any girlfriend !
Believe it or not, almost every girl looks away when she sees me, so, either I look intimidating or I look horrible.
I know exactly how you feel. I pretty much feel the same as you. I am now 21 (not 20 anymore) and I still don't have a boyfriend.
You're right, at least someone tells me that I'm beautiful and I appreciate that, but only girls and older men say that about me. Guys my age don't even look my way. I'm trying to attract a guy in my age group, not a guy as old as my dad, and not a girl.
I'm really sorry that those 4 girls gave you poor ratings. I would probably cry if I got 4 poor ratings.
But then again, that's only 4 out of 3.27 billion females on Earth. Just try to enhance yourself as much as possible. Like I've been straightening my hair and wearing makeup, and trying to become more stylish.
But you're a guy, looks aren't as important to girls as they are to guys. A man can get girls if he's ugly, as long as he's athletic, charming, and not poor. But an ugly girl has a really hard time attracting guys because looks are the most important thing to guys.
I'm 21 and haven't had one. We're in the exact same boat because I've never been kissed either :P maybe someone gave some good advice fo rme too. But don't be sad. I know I'm sexy and I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along. We are single by choice, because we choose to wait for the right person.
i know it sounds like I can't be bothered to answer but I want to. I just can't really say much because most of the stuff I would say has already been taken but if you are going to listen to advice or tips then listen to this: BE YOURSELF AND EVENTUALLY THE RIGHT PERSON WILL COME ALONG. YOU'RE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE SO NEVER CHANGE AND YOU'RE TRUE LOVE WILL FIND YOU. hope this helps you hunnie x best wishes x cameron x <3
You gotta step out of your shell. Pick a guy you like, and make sure you see plenty of each other, and flirt alot. He should follow through with the next step. BEing shy is excusible, being shy around the guy you want is not however. Assuming you want to get him.
if all it is is that you feel pressured to have a boyfriend because of your age, just stop. you don't NEED a bf, it sounds like you just want one for reassurance of your looks, personality, etc. My GORGEOUS sister didn't have her first boyfriend til she was 19 or 20. I'm 18 and have never had one. I may be a less hot version of her, but I'm equally as attractive in different ways--doesn't matter. Just stop worrying about it and one day something will come along and be well worth the wait.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Im sorry but did you just jump into my brain and write exactly what my life was about? because this is def about me! and I do mean that it is ALL about me...everything the shyness, the school guys, the never had a bf, never been kissed the age...everything lol
2
3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Sorry it took me so long to reply. It's been a month so I was just wondering if you've had any luck with the guys yet?
Actually no I havent...there was this one guy but he turned out to be a jerk and ever since then...its just been me
The thing is tho is that I can somewhat talk to a guy online but then if it was in person I just shy away from the thought and I don't know what to do....idk maybe its just not my time to have a guy yet, doesn't mean I'm not lonely because I am lol...it sucks too but maybe its just not my time...
Heres just some food for thought. Guys that are interested in you may be shy themselves and also... its nearly impossible for a guy to tell if it would be alright to approach a girl in college. Its not like you girls or even us guys and a Status bar above our heads that says "Single" on it. Which makes it hard for everyone to navigate through the rapidly shifting status's of people we know.
You're just taking longer. :) Don't worry about it! Maybe try traveling an dsee where that gets you...and even though clubs/parties can be skeevy, give one a shot just to see. Sometimes it just helps you meet guys in a free setting. :) If you don't like it, don't go again. But raylly up some gal pals and go for it! :D
Otherwise...just find confidence in your singularity, and know you're holding out for the fab guy who notices how great you are. :)
i know its kinda late but just so you know, I'm 19 and I have the same exact problem-- supershy, and guys my age never being interested in me except I enjoy the bar scene. ughh and I know about the guys that are so old that its on the point of being creepy! they hit on me all the time even in freaking starbucks and I dress very modestly too!
i jst wanted to let you know that you're not alone and see if anything has changed since you last asked this question!
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
You're not confident. If you think you're ugly then you're gonna act ugly. How often do you go out? Go where there are guys your age and have fun. Even if they are not the ones looking for a relationship, the attention you get will boost your confidence enough for you to attract a real guy.
1
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I never go out. I absolutely hate parties (though birthday parties are fun sometimes), night clubs, bars, and places like those. I find them incredibly boring. Well I don't want the wrong kind of attention. I want someone to be genuinely interested in me.
There might be something in your comportment or just the fact that you don't go where the boys are. Or do you look unattainable, not interested in some way or another? Try socializing a bit more, ask the opinion of friends who know you better than we do.
A way to have success is to look successful: be seen with boys (even if they are "just friends", rather than on your lonely own or with girls only.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It took me till I was 22 to get my first girlfriend, and my first kiss. Being shy and having been burned by girls in the past before, I wasn't so bothered by it: I am glad it took this long/I waited to get connected to someone I really love. And like you, I avoid bars and clubs because I don't drink.
Like the other posters said, is it your body language? Can you open up more?
0
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Umm,, I'm timid. I don't know how to open up more.
go online to chatrooms and try meeting some cute guys there. see if they wanna meet for coffee, only local guys tho. guys are age are semi shallow, still in the highschool mode, so this is a way they can get to know ur personality before they meet you. expect a few duds, but maybe ull meet a cool guy. just a thought. worth a shot right?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
43Opinion
Okay, first of all, I think the reason you haven't heard it from someone your age is because were just too nervous to say something like that. Older guys are more comfortable and have more experience with women. Second I think your dwelling way to much on the whole thing. You don't just go out and find a boyfriend. Just make some guy friends and start from there. Like you said your in college you don't have to look very far Just let things go, it will work itself out on its own. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but it turned out that I fell in love with a friend from high school. I didn't pick her, it just happened.
honestly, I think you should go out more places and hang out with ya friends, go to the movies or have little gatherings. going to sites to find someone is not healthy, trust me. you would find some of thee most weirdest men alive! lol but yeaa I think if you go out more places, be more of a socially person, and dress attractive or just join activities, I think you will find someone that's more on your level. you sed you are shy? just b make your personality be more open. you try that and then guys will start to notice something about you.
Its alright to be shy, and btw that's hilarious (pedo-bait). So yea its a tad akward that ur 20 and haven't gotten anywhere but maybe guys are intimidated by you? good looks can make a guy very shy. If you find a guy that you like and wanna hang out or go on a mini date just say hey after class/late on tonite wanna go grab something to eat at ... (whatever is a cool place to eat where you go to college) From there you can move onto more comfort building situations such as dinner movies etc. Just open up a little more and ask, and the world will open up to you.
I'm in the exact same situation as you, except I wouldn't call it a situation because it's not a problem for me. Like you, I don't consider myself unattractive. I don't however have confidence issues. Society thrusts its rules upon people, and this causes them to feel stressed out and do things that they're not prepared to do. However these standards change and so I don't believe there's a point in anyone's life where they HAVE to do something.
A couple hundred years ago it would be normal for a girl to marry at around 12 years old. Is that the case now? Of course not. Maybe in time that age limit will rise and then being a virgin at 20 would be no biggie. I certainly don't make it an issue for myself.
If you feel like friending me, feel free. Since I'm in a similar position I don't mind offering support if you need it.
Good luck =).
I think you should just relax. I know that's easier said than done. My first girlfriend was at age 19, and to be honest with you I'm glad it took that long, I wasn't mature enough or ready to be in a committed relationship. Everyone goes through these things at different times in life, so don't worry about missing things a 12 year old would do. I had my first kiss at 17, and to be honest I wish I waited longer so that it actually meant more than it did. Be patient and social, good things will come. Best of luck
This great article written by Jarett could give you a boost and some tips on your situation.
link
Hope this helps!
Yeah it was an excellent article and it helped me feel better, but the only tip he gave was to not be shy. I mean, it's easier said than done. Being shy is just part of my personality because I'm an introvert. Isn't there a special way that shy girls can get boyfriends?
Shy girls can get boyfriends, but more often than not it's because they showed initial interest in the guy, and he picked up on it. I was very shy growing up and missed many opportunities with the opposite sex until my early 20's because of it, so I empathize with shyness - it can be a struggle sometimes. But if you see a guy you like, start a conversation - otherwise, they won't know you're interested in them.
Sorry, I lack common sense. What do I say to a guy that I like?
I will try to start a conversation with a guy at my college tomorrow and if it doesn't work...I'll cry or something.
Nah, don't cry if it doesn't work out - try not to put so much importance on the conversation. If you're not relaxed, it will show through and that's what you don't want. Just talk to the guy with no expected outcome in mind - starting a casual conversation with a smile and a polite "hello" or other introduction is a good bet. Good luck!
I'm pretty much like you in every way! Never been kissed, never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, I hate bars and clubs, no one at college even looks at me, terribly shy. etc. I don't know what we are doing wrong. You seem like a nice girl. Maybe you are just going to have to wait for guys your age to mature and realize that they don't want to mess with dem hos no more. I know though, it's not easy waiting. Especially because people in relationships are f***ing every where.
Good luck :) I hope you find someone.
Yeah, waiting sucks. I've been patient long enough.
I hope you find someone too.
I am 26 & never had any girlfriend. I have similar issues. I look ugly. However, I don't think you are ugly. At least someone tells you that you are beautiful. No one tells me this. Not even once has anyone hinted that they are interested in me. . Probably I should give up on girls. It hurts to see every friend of yours having a partner except you.
You shouldn't say you're ugly about yourself. Maybe it is that attitude which prevents you from finding a partner? Would you work as a sales person and sell a laundry machine with the slogan "It's not a good machine"??
I had created a reality check here. Before coming to this site, I didn't knew that I looked ugly. The 4 girls gave me poor rating. One or 2 girls giving me poor rating would have been fine. but 4 different girls ? Surely I don't look good. Previously the profile photo was mine and now it is not. You can't change how you look.
And for your kind information, it is certainly not my attitude and/or my self esteem. You tell me, why do girls (of my choice) never like me ?
I have a lot of girl friends but none of them is interested in me as a partner. ? How come ? I am a nice guy, I have many qualities which many girls want in a man, yet I don't have any girlfriend !
Believe it or not, almost every girl looks away when she sees me, so, either I look intimidating or I look horrible.
I know exactly how you feel. I pretty much feel the same as you. I am now 21 (not 20 anymore) and I still don't have a boyfriend.
You're right, at least someone tells me that I'm beautiful and I appreciate that, but only girls and older men say that about me. Guys my age don't even look my way. I'm trying to attract a guy in my age group, not a guy as old as my dad, and not a girl.
I'm really sorry that those 4 girls gave you poor ratings. I would probably cry if I got 4 poor ratings.
But then again, that's only 4 out of 3.27 billion females on Earth. Just try to enhance yourself as much as possible. Like I've been straightening my hair and wearing makeup, and trying to become more stylish.
But you're a guy, looks aren't as important to girls as they are to guys. A man can get girls if he's ugly, as long as he's athletic, charming, and not poor. But an ugly girl has a really hard time attracting guys because looks are the most important thing to guys.
I'm 21 and haven't had one. We're in the exact same boat because I've never been kissed either :P maybe someone gave some good advice fo rme too. But don't be sad. I know I'm sexy and I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along. We are single by choice, because we choose to wait for the right person.
You're pretty
Awe thank you =)
i know it sounds like I can't be bothered to answer but I want to. I just can't really say much because most of the stuff I would say has already been taken but if you are going to listen to advice or tips then listen to this: BE YOURSELF AND EVENTUALLY THE RIGHT PERSON WILL COME ALONG. YOU'RE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE SO NEVER CHANGE AND YOU'RE TRUE LOVE WILL FIND YOU. hope this helps you hunnie x best wishes x cameron x <3
You gotta step out of your shell. Pick a guy you like, and make sure you see plenty of each other, and flirt alot. He should follow through with the next step. BEing shy is excusible, being shy around the guy you want is not however. Assuming you want to get him.
if all it is is that you feel pressured to have a boyfriend because of your age, just stop. you don't NEED a bf, it sounds like you just want one for reassurance of your looks, personality, etc. My GORGEOUS sister didn't have her first boyfriend til she was 19 or 20. I'm 18 and have never had one. I may be a less hot version of her, but I'm equally as attractive in different ways--doesn't matter. Just stop worrying about it and one day something will come along and be well worth the wait.
Im sorry but did you just jump into my brain and write exactly what my life was about? because this is def about me! and I do mean that it is ALL about me...everything the shyness, the school guys, the never had a bf, never been kissed the age...everything lol
Sorry it took me so long to reply. It's been a month so I was just wondering if you've had any luck with the guys yet?
Actually no I havent...there was this one guy but he turned out to be a jerk and ever since then...its just been me
The thing is tho is that I can somewhat talk to a guy online but then if it was in person I just shy away from the thought and I don't know what to do....idk maybe its just not my time to have a guy yet, doesn't mean I'm not lonely because I am lol...it sucks too but maybe its just not my time...
Any luck on your end?
Talking to guys online definitely helps me understand guys more and learn how to communicate with them.
And no luck for me yet
Heres just some food for thought. Guys that are interested in you may be shy themselves and also... its nearly impossible for a guy to tell if it would be alright to approach a girl in college. Its not like you girls or even us guys and a Status bar above our heads that says "Single" on it. Which makes it hard for everyone to navigate through the rapidly shifting status's of people we know.
You're just taking longer. :) Don't worry about it! Maybe try traveling an dsee where that gets you...and even though clubs/parties can be skeevy, give one a shot just to see. Sometimes it just helps you meet guys in a free setting. :) If you don't like it, don't go again. But raylly up some gal pals and go for it! :D
Otherwise...just find confidence in your singularity, and know you're holding out for the fab guy who notices how great you are. :)
i know its kinda late but just so you know, I'm 19 and I have the same exact problem-- supershy, and guys my age never being interested in me except I enjoy the bar scene. ughh and I know about the guys that are so old that its on the point of being creepy! they hit on me all the time even in freaking starbucks and I dress very modestly too!
i jst wanted to let you know that you're not alone and see if anything has changed since you last asked this question!
You're not confident. If you think you're ugly then you're gonna act ugly. How often do you go out? Go where there are guys your age and have fun. Even if they are not the ones looking for a relationship, the attention you get will boost your confidence enough for you to attract a real guy.
I never go out. I absolutely hate parties (though birthday parties are fun sometimes), night clubs, bars, and places like those. I find them incredibly boring. Well I don't want the wrong kind of attention. I want someone to be genuinely interested in me.
There might be something in your comportment or just the fact that you don't go where the boys are. Or do you look unattainable, not interested in some way or another? Try socializing a bit more, ask the opinion of friends who know you better than we do.
A way to have success is to look successful: be seen with boys (even if they are "just friends", rather than on your lonely own or with girls only.
It took me till I was 22 to get my first girlfriend, and my first kiss. Being shy and having been burned by girls in the past before, I wasn't so bothered by it: I am glad it took this long/I waited to get connected to someone I really love. And like you, I avoid bars and clubs because I don't drink.
Like the other posters said, is it your body language? Can you open up more?
Umm,, I'm timid. I don't know how to open up more.
go online to chatrooms and try meeting some cute guys there. see if they wanna meet for coffee, only local guys tho. guys are age are semi shallow, still in the highschool mode, so this is a way they can get to know ur personality before they meet you. expect a few duds, but maybe ull meet a cool guy. just a thought. worth a shot right?