20, never dated and lonely. Future?

(I'm not native in English so bear with me.)

I'm 20 years old and lonely.

I've never dated, never been kissed - never even held a boys hand! (Not to mention being a virgin too.)

I have friends (all female) so I'm not lonely in a friendless way. But I long for a 'loved one'. Someone who would like to do something as little as hold my hand. ://

I want to cuddle against someone on the sofa or hug someone and be hugged or just chat. (I'm healthy young female so I want to have sex too.) I want all what I see my friends do with their boyfriends (I'm the only single I know.) I do know that there are fights and bad stuff but my friends spend more time being happy because of their boyfriends than being sad because of them.

I'm an introvert and that makes being with people a little hard for me. (Check what introvert means before you tell me to go out or to try to be more social...) I'm bad with people; awkward, quiet, observer. I stay in the background and usually people don't even notice I'm there. (I don't like attention so being invisible is fine by me but I still want _someone_ to see me.)

Most people probably think I'm boring. I hardly talk if not asked. So I'm not interesting enough that someone would want to get to know me. And I'm not pretty either. I look as boring as I 'am'. Not beautiful, not pretty, not sexy, not ugly, just nothing... I don't have anything to offer to a guy; neither personality nor looks.

I'm 20 'already' so I feel I missed the time when I was supposed to lear how to have a relationship. I miss the young love stuff all my friends had when we were 13-17 year olds. I don't even know how to date. I don't know what to say, to do, how to be... ://And life long invisibility to guys has eaten my self-esteem; there must be something wrong with me really bad because no one has never wanted me.

I'm scared that I'm 'doomed' to spend my life all alone. I know there are many 20/30/40+ persons who are still single and alone and that scares me. I want to have a family someday; husband and kids. (Not anytime soon though.) ...It's too easy for me to see myself as one of the lonely 40 year olds.

I'm not looking for advice really. I'd like rather hear stories how people like me did find someone and 'lived happily ever after'. (LOL) I just want some encouragement so that I know I still have hope.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't beat yourself up about it. That time will come when you least expect it. The trick is to not think as much when conversing with someone else. Also, don't magnify or jump to conclusions. People who you talk to may like you for who you are, but maybe they just don't express that. Trust me, I've been on the same boat.