Girls, what do you think about guys that stop texting you all of a sudden, but still show interest in person?

[Anonymous]

My reason for why I stopped texting her:I was talking to a girl I liked over winterbreak through text for a month, but on the 3rd week or so it died down. I got a little frustrated on my end, because I was the one who was always initiating texts and coming up with conversations. She definitely showed interest over text (would answer my questions, say lol ha ha a lot, smilies, and turn the question back to me)I asked a lot of questions, so I thought that might have been the case, so I backed off. Also, since Dec 30, apparently she stopped recieving my texts (her phone is messed up--as she posted on a FB status several weeks ago), and I do believe her.. But why all of a sudden, I don't know?

We also planned on hanging out a month ahead of time, right before school started.. But she basically blew me off for her friends, and I got pissed. I backed of and stopped.

We have one class together.. And First week of school, I didn't even talk to her and I was trying to move on.. But all of a sudden on the 2nd week she approached me in class and sat next to me. We've been talking and flirting ever since.. But I still hold resentment, and just don't want to make a fool of myself by texting/calling her again, a well as the fact that I hate initiating all the time. The only times we do talk is in person during class, and a few times over fb message(just telling her about an internship).

Updates

+1 y

tl;dr version: I stopped texting because I didn't want to seem pushy, and I got frustrated ALWAYS being the one who intiated texts/conversations over the phone.


I still like her, but I still hold some resentment.

Updates

+1 y

and I got frustrated *that I was ALWAYS the one who initiated texts/conversations over the phone /fb.

[foreverme]

This reallly sounds like a situation I'm in. This guy has been texting me for a few months, on and off. He's always the one to initiate conversations because I don't feel comfortable doing that. He texted me again in December over winter break and wanted to hang out (but never suggested when, or what we were doing...) but then I got really busy with a family situation and I told him and he seemed to understand. But then he stopped texting me and I haven't heard from him since and that makes me really confused and I wonder if, like you, he felt like he was being too pushy or feels like I brushed him off...but I didn't think he was being pushy. I just wish he would tell me flat out that he was interested in me and wanted to get to know me better (the best way to solve misunderstandings in communication is to talk about it!)

I do feel hurt and confused about why he stopped texting, which makes me a little wary about even initiating texting him, because now I think he's not interested anymore.

I think you should let her know how you feel about her, and that you want to get to know her better. Right now, she may be confused about your intentions so she's being cautious and that's why she's not initiating texts. Just be consistent with your texts and don't randomly stop texting her with no explanation.

[Asker]

When is the last time you talked to him? You've never bothered to text him? Guys really do get tired of being in a situation of always initiating everything (I'm sure girls do too if they are in that situation as the guy).

I don't know it's hard... I still hold resentment. She never intiated conversations/texts in winterbreak, and I don't see her doing it anytime soon, unless we become boyfriend and gf(if that happens). I don't know if her phone is fixed, but I don't want to make a fool of myself..

[Asker]

I think you should definitely initiate a conversation with that guy you like. I really think that was the case on why he stopped texting you altogether. He felt like you were uninterested, and probably just gave up after. He might still have feelings for you.. So, I definitely think if you see a future with this guy and still like him, text him for once... And initiate a couple times after consistentally.

thanks for the advice

[Asker]

As a guy, who initiated everything, only to get rejected after, and then talking again... Its hard to do it again. It's just a defensive mechanism.. Because I really did put myself out there, and I felt like I made a fool of myself. I wish girls could freaking understand this, in this situation.. To stop making him do everything /initiating and worry about why he suddently stopped, when it's likely he moved on because you gave him mixed signals/not showing interest, by not initiating first.

[foreverme]

Last time was just after Christmas. I have initiated conversations a couple of times in the past, but now I kind of hold some resentment at him because he stopped texting for no apparent reason. I replied to his last text (which stated how busy I was etc. etc.) and asked him a question in return, to which he never replied...unless something happened to his phone because he takes forever to reply usually, but he always replies back...

[foreverme]

Thanks for your advice also! I might just do that:p

I think you should also text that girl you like (or talk to her in person), because right now I think she is just confused about whether or not you actually are interested in her. I don't think she intended to hurt you, but if she knew your intentions (that you are interested in her) then maybe she would feel like making more of an effort. She's probably just being really cautious right now out of fear of rejection.

[foreverme]

Thanks for giving me insight, I never thought of it that way. You're right, maybe he doesn't think I'm interested since I never really initiate anything.

[Asker]

I don't hold resentment over the fact that she rejected me initially over hanging out. Maybe she wasn't feeling too comfortable/nervous about hanging out so soon, and wanted to get me to know her more on a personal level (which we've been doing now for 2 weeks). I'm just tired of having to initiate all the conversations and make all the plans over the phone and such. We are sort of.. Planning to go skydiving next weekend. I think she hinted about hanging out on Sunday, but I wish she was direct

[Asker]

I'm sure she knows I like her. I show really obvious signs in class. :P

Perhaps, we're both questioning how much we both like each other.

[foreverme]

thanks for the BA:)

[Sheriblossom]

Hello, I have a question that relates to yours!!
I don't know if my crush feels obligated to text me. I know he thinks I'm a really nice girl who deserves lots of respect, but I don't know if it's the only reason he's texting me. Keep in mind, he has never EVER EVER texted me first before and we've know each other for almost 2 years. But in real life he compliments me and stuff, and I feel like he likes me. If a really nice, respectful girl said "lol, you should get better at texting me" would you feel like you MUST text her back when she texts you, because you want to me polite/ friendly towards her?

[CashMoneyAllDay]

Lol..i persoanlly HATE texting with a passion..im way to budy to be all up in a cellphone wasting time texting lol..plus texting is so cold and without emotions..id rather talk to a girl on phone or in person..alot of dating experts recommend NOT to tex at all..only sometimes..and to plan dates/say hello..quick messages to egt her thinking bout you..reason is girls get VERY bored and like w.e with texting if the guy is always doing it..it loses its luster..CALL HER BETTER MAN..

[Asker]

I've called her twice, but she doesn't pick it up and leave it to voice mail.

[foreverme]

yeah texting does get boring especially since it's so unnatural...sometimes I'll spend like 10 minutes replying to a text just to make sure I say the right thing or don't sound boring..so ridiculous. I prefer talking on the phone rather than texting.