POF -- giving it a try.

Okay, so I'm tired of falling for the wrong guys and I'm giving POF a try. I need someone with the same goals as mine and this site will narrow that down more than I could.

My question is, what do you talk about in the messages? Suppose you find a person and you want to know them better? How do you tell the person that without sounding cheesy like "hey, I read your profile, I think you're cool and I want to get to know you"?

Should I say something about myself too?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I found my boyfriend of over a year on POF. It works, but you have to put in a lot of hard work.

    My messages usually included a short blurb about me, and then I started asking about stuff on their profile. If they listed that hiking is one of their interests, I would mention that I went on a hiking trip somewhere, or if I saw a picture of them at Disney world, I would mention something about that.

    If they are talking about wanting to travel, ask them what places they might be interested in seeing. By asking about details on their profile, you are setting yourself apart from the crowd. It shows you read the profile and are genuinely interested. Most messages I got were just "Hai, how are u?". And then the guy would get upset when I didn't respond.

    I took time to read profiles and craft decent messages (2-3 long paragraphs). People who are serious should be able to do the same. I find the one's that aren't serious about finding someone are sending messages with the least effort put in. Not trying to come across as a snob, but I found that when I spent time talking to those people, I just found that we had different goals for being on that site and I ended up wasting time.

    Don't be afraid to message someone if you think they might not respond. Yes it takes time to create that message, but sometimes it pays off. I was scared to message my boyfriend because I thought he was too attractive and would not respond. I wrote the message anyway, and he responded back!

    Over a year later and we are still together and are very happy.

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    • thank you for the input! it really helped!

What Guys Said 1

  • Make sure you post recent pictures from multiple angles. State in your profile what type of guy you are seeking in plenty of detail. Last but not least, try to give detailed messages if you send one to a guy, it shows you read his profile instead of just sending junk like "what's up? how was your weekend?", which is something I get a lot. Last but not least, don't mention how "smart you are, how you like to watch movies, hang out with friends, etc." Every girl does that and its boring to read. Make your profile funny, interesting and anti-conformist. Something that will catch a man's eye.

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    • would it be okay if I put in effort to the message, but it was still short? I haven't sent any messages out without reading the profile so I always added in one or 2 lines from something interesting I saw on their profile that I liked

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    • No, I don't do long-distance relationships. It would be strictly professional. :)

    • lol I'm just picking on you. Don't take it seriously please =P

What Girls Said 1

  • The answer to your questions in order

    1. Talk about yourself without writing a novel, ask questions about him without getting too personal but just personal enough to express interest

    2. Then you meet for coffee which is ideal because if you like him, then you can sit there and talk for hours, but if you feel like he's lacking in real life, then you can quickly finish your coffee and walk out without looking rude

    3. That's perfect. Say those exact words

    4. Yes, give a brief intro to you, but don't go too in depth because you can be sure this person is going to immediately check out your profile

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