I read all these books & articles that give you all these crazy sets of rules. Some of them are understandable..some..ridiculous. It seems like the author of them tells you how THEY snagged the person they married. But, I've seen quite a few people read all of those articles & books...follow through with the rules..& still remain single. I'm sorry..but I think all these rules & books are FUC#ED up. Just because it helped THAT person DOES NOT mean it will HELP YOU! Not everyone likes the same things. If we all wanted the exact same things, & did the exact same things, we'd want the SAME people..& all be single...& everything would be boring.
1. Don't text him first. -In a way I can understand that. Girls don't want to seem desperate, over eager, needy, or clingy. I hear guys complaining about having to be the one to text first..but when a girl does it, it turns the guy off!
2. Don't call him. Same as above.
3. Never mention wanting kids, or marriage until you have been dating for a few months.- WTF..What if you never asked them if they wanted those things, got attached to them & fell in love, then a few months later you DID ask & found out..oh geez...you guys don't want the same things? Oh no..i wonder how this happened? I guess it could've have saved you the trouble..IF YOU ASKED.
4. Leave a little mystery, keep them guessing. -To an extent, yes.. but I read these things & it says not to let them know what kind of stuff you like. Movies, music, books, etc.. Really? Something as simple as that.. How in the hell are you supposed to connect with someone & find your similarities? How can you find ways to relate to them?! That's something I talk about in the VERY beginning. It's the easiest!
5. "Don't have sex until you've gone on 5 dates, & MAKE SURE YOU LAY HIM RIGHT THE FIRST TIME, & HE'S YOURS FOREVER", "Wait three months to have sex, & don't SHOW OFF & LET HIM SEE HOW GOOD YOU ARE, OR HE'LL WONDER HOW MANY YOU'VE PRACTICED WITH"--Really? What happened to waiting until there was love there & a relationship was actually established? "Lay him right the first time?" That DOES NOT mean he'll stay with you. & WHY oh WHY would it tell you to try & suck in the sack? Pretend you're bad? Really?
6. Don't tell him ANYTHING private or personal about you. -Sometimes..telling personal stories is a good way to connect. You find out you've been through similar situations, or you have mutual feelings over a lot of things.
It's like everyone is telling you to lie & act like something you're not UNTIL you get someone to fall in love with "you." & THEN you can start being you..the person they didn't fall in love w/..& everyone stops making an effort like they did in the beginning.. & the fake relationship fails.
This is more of a LYING game don't you think? I wish that once people made a connection, they'd say "F the rules!"
In case you haven't noticed...I think most of these rules are BS.
Now that I've given my opinion, & I'm off my soapbox..what's YOUR opinion?
Most Helpful Guy
anything I can say about this subject brando already said better. playing by these established rules which force you to suppress your natural emotional urges and intincts is a personal choice. making that choices means you are putting yourself in the middle of this "game" and, as a result, the people you will be dealing with are other contestants/players.
but you also have the choice of totally ignoring these rules and going about the whole courting/dating process in a way that involves acting on your instincts and impulses, which puts you in a completely separate category, in fact almost a completely different world, from people who "play by the rules." and existing in this entirely different world means dealing with other people who live in this world. as a result, you end up dealing with other people who put their personalities out for all to see by acting on impulse, instinct, and emotion. it simplifies the process, I think, because you cut through the bullsh*t in the search for someone who genuinely likes you and is compatible with you.1
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