Anyone else going round in circles with dating?

I..e wanting a girlfriend/boyfriend but can't find one but still wanting one?

any ways out of it?

whats your opinion?

Updates:
thanks to everyone for there input on thsi question some great awnsers :)

because there are so many good awnsers I won't select a best answer

btu thanks again to everyone who has answered

0|0
12|16

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm definitely in the same boat. It sucks...

    1|2
    0|1

What Girls Said 11

  • Yes, I have been in that situation. HOWEVER... it is only your singleness talking! DON'T LISTEN! Run fast and far away from any idea that you need to be with someone. That will only because you to settle. The relationships that are the most successful are USUALLY the ones that weren't "looked for". If you look for a girlfriend, you will generally end up lowering your standards and getting someone you didn't want, which will only leave regrets later on. During this idleness, think about it as college down time. You REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go out with friends during your down time, but you KNOW you have homework to do. Plus, when an opportunity arises later to go with friends, you will be even less motivated to do your homework. Use this metaphorical downtime to prepare yourself in your life for a girlfriend. Get good grades, join a club that can help you meet new people anyway (2 birds with one stone...), get a raise (or a job if you don't have one already) use your newly acquired funds to get a good car (to impress... once again, 2 birds). Even though it will be so much more interesting to go after girls, work on making yourself ready for when the "right girl" comes.

    1|2
    0|1
    • Wow. Very, very insightful.

    • Show All
    • Best Answer

    • By the way, in the beginning of that post, I said "CAUSE" not because... just in case anyone was wonering..

      Dumb GAG...

  • wow can I be your girlfriend?

    0|3
    0|1
  • YES I know what you mean! but people always say," stop looking and they'll find you" well I've tried that...doesn't work :/

    2|5
    0|0
    • anddd it's not like I don't put in effort. I usually put myself out there

    • Show All
    • Answermethis is right - "stop looking" is the stupidest advice I've ever heard too... that's like saying "stop looking for a good job" because it'll just come to you... DUMBEST SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD

    • haha EXACTLY!

  • i just keep picking myself up, dusting it off, and keep my head up and focus on life and whatever is going on in my life until the right one comes along... oh and after a rejection I always keep in mind that I can do better...

    2|2
    0|1
  • Yep most of us, singles out there, do.

    Except maybe that my circle is more of a : want a bf/convince myself that I don't (no idea how powerful can your will be!)/ after a while or a precise event and I again fall in the wanting a boyfriend phase.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, but mine is a little more complex. I want one for a while, but then I don't. But all the while I still want one. I thought the online dating would be better, but that was a total disater. So a change of scene is in order. This cycle of single-dum sucks.

    1|1
    0|1
  • get on with your life...do something that you love and then you will find her. I find that when I am not looking I find someone :)

    0|1
    0|3
    • Doesn't really work that way...

    • better than dwelling on the issue for hours on end and feel like you have wasted hours/days/weeks/years.. Yes, I get your point as you could say 'but if you aren't looking you aren't trying', however often making an effort will only get you down.

      I say be positive about it...you can get on with your life and still make an effort

    • Not really... you cannot divulge even time between school, work, relationship, and a love life... it just doesn't work... you end up neglecting at least one area of those subjects

  • I agree with Anon below, but yes I feel the same and I'm sure a lot of others do as well.

    0|1
    0|1
  • If it feels like you're going in a circle then you're not doing something right. You should be taking something away from your dating experiences good, bad or ugly. And hopefully using what you've gained to hopefully seek out more suitable mates for yourself, or improve your approach. Do not get discouraged, this does take time, it is a process.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah, but I'm actually going in circles in the opposite direction. lots of guys are showing interest and I'm having a hard time letting any of them in because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. ironically though, it still hurts because I keep letting a lot of good guys go.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Follow your heart and just do what feels right. I've been hurt a lot of times as well, but the worst thing I or you could do is to shut yourself off from others.

    • Show All
    • That's YOUR fault then - not the guy's

    • who exactly said anything about it being the guy's fault? because I know I didn't.

  • You'll stop wanting a girlfriend so much when you start enjoying your life. Take some classes, sign up for a language group, go on meetup.com and join a club. There are so many options out there for you to broaden your horizons without that special someone. Seriously, if your life is already boring without a girlfriend, it won't be that much more interesting once you get one. You have to work on you first.

    2|0
    0|2
    • But then you become TOO involved in yourself to focus on a relationship (or even care about wanting one, for that matter)... before you know it it'll be too late

    • Show All
    • he means you'll grow old and haggard before finding someone...and by that point, it's too late. s/he won't want you .

    • P.S. I searched for 'how to find a boyfriend' on YouTube and got some great results. Maybe you could do the same for 'how to find a girlfriend'. LOL.

What Guys Said 16

  • You're not going in circles. You're standing still. Brake the pattern by actually doing something. Ask a girl out. If she turns you down, ask another girl out, if she turns you down ask another, then another, and another. I looked at your picture. You're not a movie star but so long as you don't expect to date one you can easily find a girlfriend. All it takes its 20seconds of crazy stupid courage.

    0|1
    0|1
  • I have been single my whole life unfortunately (18 years). I have gone on many dates, and I have even known girls that have liked me, but I just didn't like them. Just recently I was dating this one girl, we had a pretty good date (not perfect but definitely not bad). We even kissed on her doorstep briefly, and although I was planning on kissing her she beat me to it by a few seconds. And then guess what...the next day I send her a quick text and she tells me she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment and basically ends it...

    I have come to the conclusion that we don't need anyone else to be "happy", it is just society that makes us think we need a relationship to be happy. Besides relationships don't involve only positives, a lot of negatives are also involved. In my opinion it goes like this...

    Good relationship > Single > Bad relationship

    So just enjoy the time you have being alone. Hang out with some friends, try to get a better job, go on some crazy vacation a girlfriend would never let you go on (that's what I'm doing for spring break ha ha). But yes I feel your pain...I've sworn off dating and women a few times now due to bad experiences...however it never lasts long. Within a month a come across another girl with potential and things start off again, granted it usually all comes crashing down, but I have learned a lot from all of these experiences.

    ...Dating has gone down hill (in the United States). People (and girls in particular) have become disillusioned by movies and the media. Good luck bro!

    2|1
    0|0
  • yeah - I meet girls , they turn out not to be my girlfriend in the end very often- and so it continues over and over again. it's not a circle , because so far it always has been a better girl than the last one lol

    I guess eventually the right one will cross my path in some way or is that just to romantic ? :p today it seems almost hard to find someone when you are romantic and not going for the first girl that comes by . ^^

    1|0
    0|1
  • Keep working hard as it look like you already are semi/ successful, don't let it get to you, you know you are better than that. I would suggest you try something new, like going camping with friends, go on an adventure and get your mind off! GET OUT THERE AND EXPERIENCE THE WOOOORLLD

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah, the reason why I hate why we guys always have to approach and initiate things, because the person who does the approaching, can be victim to coming across as trying too hard, looking desperate, insecure, and since girls don't have to do that, they don't have to worry about being desperate

    0|1
    0|0
  • Im stuck in the circle of:

    Meet someone > Get attached > Get Hurt > Move on.

    Im nearly 18, and all my mates have girlfriends, it sucks.

    3|0
    0|1
  • Keep trying. Keep meeting new people. Even when nothing happens, girls give you the cold shoulder, or it just isn't your day/night, go home, have a cup of tea, sleep off the depression, then get up the next day and try again.

    As you gain experience approaching, you'll start refining your skills at meeting and interacting.

    I'm not saying devote your entire life to chasing girls. Keep working on yourself and whatever you want to do with your life, but don't stop approaching women.

    0|0
    0|0
  • definitely. I've been in your shoes for like 20 years. There's no such thing as justice. A**holes can have whoever they want...

    0|0
    0|0
  • story of my life, always been that way

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yup. Sounds like me. I always get disappointed in the other sex.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yeah, I'm sick of it too...

    guess the main thing is to keep going out and asking until one sticks around

    0|0
    0|0
  • I want one but I havnt put forth much effort due to my own Self-esteem & being an introvert but honestly I try not to think about it and hope that someday it'll come.

    0|0
    0|1
  • yeah I go from wanting to date to not wanting to date pretty much everyday.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am. I date girls, sleep with some, find some interesting and date them for a while, but I miss that spark I had with some girlfriend before. My life is in order, I have hobbies, friends, a good job etc.. I just can't seem to find someone right for me. It's a bit tiring. I dated someone new this week-end. I like her but I know already she's not the one. Going round and round, like you said.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lower your standards if you're that desperate.

    0|0
    3|2
  • How is that going around in circles?

    You want a girl friend. You haven't found one yet.

    Answer : You keep looking, but in the meantime, work on whatever you need to, to improve your chances in the future.

    6|2
    0|0
Loading...