When I see all these "nice guys finish last" questions (as well as other similar questions), I always have certain thoughts floating around in my brain...and now I have the words to explain them.
Don't you love it when that happens? :)
Alot of the dudes who ask, or can very relate to, the types of questions above...i feel want to have a girlfriend, or even something as simple as a girl's phone number SO BADLY...
...that they don't even care if SHE is attracted to HIM.
What I'm saying is, the dude is so (unintentionally) desperate and selfish, that he doesn't care about the female's physical needs in her partner. He is so focused on having ANY girl that he doesn't care about her physical attraction to him. He thinks:
"Yay, I got a girl!", or "Finally I got that girl I really wanted"...
...and that's where his thoughts end.
My point? Me personally...i wouldn't date a girl I felt wasn't physically attracted to me.
Pardon me for being crude, but I want females to look at me and want to f*ck me. I want to be desirable to the female gender. I want them to "double take" me, to smile and flirt with me, and definitely to touch me. :)
I take care of my appearance (shaving, facial routine [no homo lol], hair routine, wearing clean & pressed & properly-fitting clothes, matching outfits, having a personal style).
I eat pretty well health-wise (minimizing junk food, drink tea EVERYDAY as well as one cup of tea per cup of soda, watching food portions overall, drink plenty of water).
I take care of my body (full-body stretches twice a day, I do calisthenics for strength and play basketball/football for cardio, I listen to my body to make sure I get proper rest; my mood overall is usually a positive one because I do all the above).
I do all of the above for ME...but I know >=95% of females are attracted to a healthy-looking, stylish, fun-attituded, well-put-together guys.
I want my girlfriend to look at me and say "he's yummy"...
...instead of "he treats me well and he's nice, so I GUESS I'll date him although he's not attractive to me sexually"
So guys and girls, please vote and elaborate; if you wanna be long-winded I will read it.
Don't forget to rate the question...and thanks for reading as well as your input. :)
- I don't mind dating a girl that's NOT physically attracted to meVote A
- I wouldn't date a girl that's NOT sexually attracted to meVote B
"Why would a girl date a guy she's not physically attracted to?"
From being on this site for 2 years, here are some reasons:
-accepting her lack of physical attraction as his "flaw" because he treats her extremely well overall(aka, 'settling')
-a source for "emotional support/healing" (bad previous relationship, family problems, etc)
With the above being said...
...please respond to the update.
Carry on, everyone. :)
...she would be dating this (to her) physically unattractive dude for one of two reasons:
1)to use him somehow
*****2) out of "pity" (aka, "pity date") *****
Carry on. :)
Most Helpful Guy
Maybe I'm just being a pain-in-the-@ss with words, but I feel the need to clarify my (B) vote.
I wouldn't date a girl that didn't feel a genuine and natural desire to have sex with me.
However, that desire does not NEED to come from physical attraction. I mean, that's not even how most women work! That would be a selfish misunderstanding of female sexuality, and projection of my own male sexuality on to how I expect a woman to feel towards me.
I get what you're afraid of, and I don't want to be with someone who is only with me because she wants her and her children to enjoy a nice lifestyle. Yet, it's not necessary to have physical attraction in order to have genuine and natural sexual desire. If my body/face/style is disgusting, then I don't blame anyone for not wanting to have sex. If they do, well then, we all know what they're really $exually attracted to.
However, while lack of good looks definitely works as a turn-off for women, good looks alone are not sufficient to make a woman want to have sex with you, and that's a good thing. When a woman is sexually attracted to you, it's more a compliment to your personality and masculinity than it is to your genetic lottery. It's personality and masculine sexuality, the essence and aura of a man's genuine and natural power and presence that turns women on. Even then, every woman is different, you can't possibly generalize how dominant of a man a woman wants in order for her to be turned on. Some women want to have sex with the man, while others want the man to have sex with her. The direction of sexual desire is huge, and so is the degree. All of these things are a matter of individual preference, and so, are grossly inappropriate to use as a criterion for disqualification of a potentially amazing relationship with a girl.
The only thing I can comfortably say that is an instant and absolute disqualification is a woman who does not genuine and naturally feel an irresistible desire and uncontrollable urge to either (depending on her preference) (1) want to have sex with me, or (2) want me to have sex with her. If that's not there, then we are, and forever will be, just friends.0