I know her parents, they know me by name, were never alone, but I like her and would like to date her. HELP!

So here's my situation: I have been taking guitar lessons for 6 years and a couple months back my instructor put together this group. In this group I met a beautiful girl who, so far, I seem to have a lot in common with. Now usually by now I would have asked her out or at least for her phone number but there are certain road blocks in the way. 1) We practice at HER house. Seeing as we are both juniors in high school, she lives with her parents, which makes it really hard for me to ask her out because they're almost always around. Also her parents know me by name so would it be the respectful thing to ask for their "permission" to date their daughter? 2) I can never get her alone. Since there are 6-8 of us in the group it's almost impossible to get a private conversation in with her. And from what I understand, asking a girl out should be done in private to avoid pressuring her. 3) she's given me signs but could I be miss-reading? The ones that I've picked up on are while we practice I'll catch her looking at me (or she'll catch me) and she won't break eye contact until after a good 3-5 seconds. Another is that we've had many good conversations since we have a lot in common and it's not always me initiating them. Now this one I could be miss-reading but when I leave, after every practice, I say goodbye to the group as a whole but it almost never fails that she says goodbye after everyone and more often than not will give me a hug. 4) we don't go to the same school. If we did, I'm almost sure we'd have gone out at least once by now.

To sum it up: Should I ask her parents for their permission to date their daughter since I know them and they know me by name? What are some ways that I could get her alone? Would it be a bad decision to ask for her number in front of the rest of the group? Am I reading her right? Guys, what would you do in this situation? Ladies, am I doing alright so far or would you suggest a different approach?

Well that's my problem. Hopefully you guys/gals can help me out of it.

Updates:
Okay good news. I was able to get her number through a mutual friend. We've been texting for the past week. But I'm kind of worried because 1) She can go hours without responding(I decided to give her time to respond so that I don't come off as clingy) 2) we can't seem to get off the subject of school (were both higher on the academic scale) and 3) I want to see her but I don't know what to say. And I don't want to just "hang out" because you guys know what I really want. I need more advice.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, you sound really mature for an under-16 years old guy. :D

    Anyway, seeing where you are from, I'm not sure if its a custom over there to ask a girl's parents their permission to bring out their daughter.

    if it isn't, then no you don't have to. During one of your conversations, just casually ask her if she would like to hang out after the session etc. And if she says yes, great! you can ask her for her number when you guys are out. If she isn't free, ask to exchange numbers so you can plan hang-outs someday. make it all casual and cool.

    i don't usually like to do it the Facebook way because I prefer f2f interaction, more personal and fun.

    since you can't seem to get her alone, you could slip her a note asking if she would like to hang out after the session. gl :)

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    • Haha. No it's not a custom but I just feel like since I know them and they me it would have been the respectful thing to do. And yeah that was a great idea about passing the note. I'm pretty sure that's what I'm gona do.

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    • I see your point. Hey can you go un anonymous and add me as a friend? You give really good advice and just seem like a good person to be able to talk to.

    • i added you already :)

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh she is definitely interested! :) you should ask her after you guys practice, and when your alone, if she wants to go out, just the two of you :) from the signs she has been sending, I think she will say yes! :D

    You are doing great, approaching her slowly, girls love that. I think if she hadn't been into you she wouldn't have hugged you :) if you feel so, ask her parents first :) You don't have a problem, you are just a little nervous, that's normal :) Good luck! :P

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    • Gosh I'm so nervous because the group has been dormant for almost 2 months. Which implies that my contact with her has been equally dormant. I'm just waiting now. Oh onless I go over to her house. Or would that be kind of creepy?

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    • Yeah I guess your right.

    • Okay I have some bad news. I had to cancel Friday because my grandma has cancer and is having a procedure done that day. So I may go a couple of days to a week more without seeing my crush but I'm perfectly fine with that because my grandmas are the two most important woman in my life. And you'd be a damn fool to get in between me and either of them.

  • do you know where her room is? is it near the bathroom?

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  • I'd definitely say she's interested. all the advice everyone else has given is great too.

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    • Okay cool thanks.

    • find an opportunity in the conversation to say something like "i discovered this song called ____ yesterday and I really like it. I'd never heard of that band before." then she'll mention something about it (whether she knows/likes it or not) and then you can ask her about music. it'll open up other opportunities to talk about your intrests.

What Guys Said 2

  • Things will be a little bit easier if you could add her on Facebook. It takes a lot of courage to ask her parents for their permission. However, this depends on how close she is with her parents. If she is very close with them, it would be a good idea to ask them. If she hugs you and looks at you for a while, she might have a thing for you. You shouldn't ask her in front of everyone else. When you guys take a break from playing, you should ask her if you could speak to alone; or when you are about to leave if you can speak to her alone outside.

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    • @NerdInDenial

      Thanks man. I'll definitely take your advice but there's one problem. I don't have a Facebook because of an incident that went down in my group of friends. But everything else is greatly appreciated.

  • ohhh this is the question you were talking about.

    Yeah I definitely think it would be a great idea to ask her parents for permission, especially because you're in their own home.

    This will be helpful to you because A: Her parents will instantly trust you and B: she'll most likely think its really sweet, which it is.

    After you have their permission I'd maybe ask to see her alone real quick somehow. Or you could use that bathroom technique that one of these answerers said. Either way, definitely get her alone real quick otherwise it'll feel uncomfortable for the two of you..

    Hope that helps, and good luck! Hit me up if you want any more of my two cents.

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    • I've talked more to her mom but I have to her dad like 3-4 times. They both seem to like me so my question to you is: which one do I ask? I know as a guy, I should ask her dad. but I have a better "relationship" with her mom. Or should I ask both?

    • I would ask either one but when you do address the question to both of them. Like "I was wondering If I could have you and Mr.____'s permission to ask your daughter out?"

      That way you can ask either one but you're still getting the permission from both.

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