I know the answer...but girls:

She broke up with me (ended our 3 month up and down relationship) because at the time she told me she needed time, wasnt over an ex, wasnt feeling it the way she knew I was feeling about her.

i was afraid I had been to clingy, or to openly enamoured. but, looking back I was caring and affectionate, but I never overwhelmed her with my feelings...i dealt with things ok.

she is dating this other guy, and I don't think that she really likes him...she was being honest about not being over an ex..but she did end things with me and start dating someone else pretty fast...

the question, is it likely that she will want me back? assuming, as I do, that there was something strong there at one point and that that didn't change because of who I am but because of the timing and circumstances.

i would rather not want her back, its not worth it to be with someone who cast me aside so easily...but she is worth it, and we could be pretty great.

so, my plan is to stop inititating our friendship..i don't want to ignore her, and I do want to see her...but I'm not going to contact her, she can contact me.

what do I do, or say...how do I act...what do I think...

should I just get over it and maybe she will change her mind?

what would you be looking for in a guy you once dated, who you are attracted to?

should I date other girls? (I want her, but I don't think I should wait around for her)

should I cut her off completely? make her realize what not having me in her life is like? (maybe its an improvement lol, but I hope not)

i know that I should just move on...and I will, but I would like to know that what I'm doing, and thinking is for a reason... I would like to have a plan, even if it produces no results...just something to cling to when I feel bad about the situation...most of the time I'm fine with it, but I can get pretty down about it if I let myself


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel your pain man. I just went through this pretty much exact same situation. She started dating the new guy a week after our break up and then told me 2 weeks later that she thinks she is in love with him after only 3 weeks of even knowing him. He had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship so I'm sure they are both just rebounding, but none of that really should matter anymore. She chose him, not you. You have to realize that even though she might be an amazing and beautiful person, she isn't going to be that person with you. It's been 2 months since my break up and I still feel like I want to be with my ex, but I have moved on and can now see that there are many other girls out there that are better than her and that will actually truly want to be with me and not choose someone else over me. If she contacts you just act like you have better things to do, like hang out with your family and friends. Don't invest a lot into the friendship and she will eventually see that you don't need her around anymore which will trigger something in her mind that tells her she should try to be in your life because she doesn't want to lose you. The harder she tries the more she will realize that she is trying so hard because she actually wants to be with you. It's all about playing hard to get. Just have low expectations as to not disappoint yourself and please go out and try to find better girls than her.

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    • I think that what you said is so very true. its exactly what we know...my problem has always been knowing how to make my feelings match my thoughts- actually being 'not gloomy' when I know logically that I shouldnt be...

      thanks for your comment, I wouldn't have posted this if that wasn't exactly what I needed to hear.

      every day is better, and just talking about it makes everything better. I know that I'm better than I used to think I was..its a good feeling.

What Girls Said 2

  • I just went through this with a guy, sounds almost identical except swapped around.. seriously, I would move on, she just isn't really into you, the guy I was seeing doesn't care whether I am around or not anymore, he never really did, you deserve better dear justmepurely.

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    • You're right. I know that, I just forget it. But that's why I posted something on here. its a lot better to voice those doubts to friends or to strangers or even just to myself than to need to talk to her or to feel compelled to explain my feelings to her. She is a great person, but I don't think I need to be her friend right now. I'm sure that by the time I'm completely over it she will probably want me back- that's how these things go, but I don't need her.

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    • You are right, its not even important...by the way I have a lot of friends...guys and girls, they are amazing...but I need to be completely pathetic sometimes and its difficult to be that person..but my friends have been great when it comes to giving me sound advice...you guys are great though, I need voices that don't know me...who I can express my sadness too without feeling like I'm acting like a sad person.

    • Its great taht you are able to express it.. I know it hurts down to the core, I still hurt with the guy that dumped me, but knowing deep down somewhere inside you you will realise that you deserve to be treated better. YOu sound like a lovely person I am sure someone will be swept off their feet with you, I have no doubt. Don't ignore your feelings feel them and let them pass, it will get easier I promise, and have fun with friends :)

  • you have to move on. cut her off, not to prove something to her, but because you won't be able to move on if you keep talking to her. she may have feelings for you but the feelings aren't strong enough to get her over her ex. she may just be too hurt from her last situation to move on herself. you should definitely date other girls, she's already dating someone else. You deserve to be with someone who really knows she wants to be with you now. what you are thinking and feeling is perfectly normal, you fell in love. but it doesn't mean its meant to be. just try to be strong and move on.

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    • Yeah, every day it gets easier..the funny thing is that I'm just starting to realize that she is the one missing out. I always wanted to think that...but I know it know.

      the guy she is with now is a nice guy, and despite everything I don't blame him. And she is probably going to do the same thing with him... I still think she is beautiful,wonderful, amazing. but she is also obviously not in the right place to be with someone who really cares about her.

What Guys Said 0

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