I Feel Like I Blew It On This Date... What do I do now?

I finally went on my date last night. It had been storming..but it stopped right before he picked me up. I was awkward.. I wasn't myself at all. And, when I was myself...i was the parts I shouldn't be on a date. I didn't know what to say. I looked really stupid. It kills me how I'm articulate in my writing..but I stutter and get scared in person. I told him I had social anxiety at one point..and he seemed cool with it. But, he didn't ask me for another date..or say he'd call. And, I really don't know if he's interested or not. Someone told me I needed to stop being a "mind reader" because I can't tell what people think. But..I feel like I really screwed up. I forgot to compliment him on how he looked..but he didn't compliment me either.. I don't even know if he's attracted to me or not.. But, he was a gentleman.. He took me out to eat, and payed for it.. and took me to a movie and payed for it. But I feel like I was a really sh*tty date. I've been raised in a negative environment..and I've been around it for so long..that its hard for me to not talk about negative things when I open up.. So I tried not to open up. I just wanted to break down and tell him everything.. but stayed quiet instead. I told him I was afraid of over-sharing random parts of my life, and things about myself that he didn't want to know about..and he asked why and said, "It's better than silence.." I want to text him.. but I haven't because I'm afraid of seeming clingy or weird.. I really don't know what to do. Or if there's anything I can do.


0|0
2|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • When I was younger, around 17 I used to have social anxiety. You'd never know it if you knew me now. I think that going out on a date is a little awkward for both parties involved. Your both just getting to know each, so don't feel like your the only one. You also don't need to be an open book about your life, but keep positive.

    I really believe that being happy is as simple as staying positive. Even in negative environments, and I also grew up in a negative environment and at times, it really did add to my social anxiety and overall pressure in life. Now its a lot better. I learned a lot about myself by pushing past negativity, and after I did I felt empowered and stronger.

    I think in this situation you could throw a text his way thanking him for the date, and say you felt a little off that day. If he is a gentleman he will understand, and appreciate your honesty.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I did text him. :) And, I mentioned hanging out again, and he said sure..but I'm not sure what to say now.. lol

    • Hey if you still are interested in him then say yes.

What Guys Said 3

  • Well,i think that's normal, I mean whens the last time you went on a date, and it was your first date with this guy, you were right to be scared, and plus guess what, theirs going to to be another 1. That's the point of dating, you keep doing it to get to know each other and if it doesn't work out you move on and find a new date, that's life. But yes you should text him, because usually, the guys wait for the girls to text. I'm sure he felt just as scared as you. But when you guys hung out t=did he look you in the eyes when you talked?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I texted him..i told him I had a good time and he looked really nice. he said he did too, and so did i. And, I mentioned hanging out again..he said sure...idk what to say now..but yes.. unless he was driving. I mean..we didn't stare at each other the entire time we talked. but for most part.

  • Well something seems to of put him off.

    Sorry :\

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah, you blew it 2bh.

    0|0
    0|1

What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like it was a rough date, and if it made him too uneasy he probably won't ask for another one. That's OK, it was a good learning experience for you. Mistake #1 was probably telling him you have a social anxiety. Although it explains your behavior, that's probably info that is better to save until you are a few more dates in and have gotten to know each other a bit better. Mistake #2 is believing that the only things you have to talk about when you 'open up' are negative things. Try doing some planning ahead for your next date. Have a few topics in mind that you are comfortable talking about, you can bring these up if the conversation gets stale. Also have some questions prepared to ask your date, then if you start to feel nervous or like you're going to clam up, you can turn the attention off of yourself and onto him. This can help you relax, and lets him know that you are interested in learning about him and not just interested in talking about yourself. A lot of people talk too much about themselves and don't do enough listening, that's a way worse problem then not talking enough! I've heard a good rule of thumb is to try and listen 90% of the time and speak 10% of the time. Mistake #3 was telling him you were afraid of 'over-sharing'. This in and of itself is 'over-sharing'. Everyone has demons in their closet (even him) but I guarentee you he wasn't about to tell you of them on the first date. If I'd known everything I know about my fiance' on our first date, I probably would not have accepted another date. People get the good and bad details of someones life as they get to know them. After attraction, affection and love have started to grow, it's easier to digest this type of information, and people are a lot more likely to accept it, than if they found out about it the first time they met you. Don't assume people don't want to learn about you, by expressing this to him you showed a severe lack in confidence, which is a huge turn off to both sexes. Guys want to date someone who they will have fun with and who has a great life going for themselves already. If he thinks he's going to have to do a lot of work to help you be happy, he's going to run the other direction. Good dating takes practice. If you work on a few things each time you go on a date, you'll soon be a pro :o) Hope some of this is helpful for you, keep your head up sweetie.

    0|0
    1|0
    • Don't apologize! If anything, just thank him for the date and say you'd really enjoy to see him again. Leave it that. No more, no less, and don't keep contacting him. After a message like this, the ball is in his court.

    • I agree with you. He opened up a little to me though. He mentioned having two ex wives, and smoking pot and drinking a lot in the past. I think he may have told me more than I told him. I actually texted him and said I had a good time and he looked really nice last night.. he replied and said he had a good time and I looked good too. I also mentioned hanging out..and he said sure.

  • Eeeek... Sounds like you might have blew it to be honest. I would say call him and explain that you know you weren't yourself yesterday and you're sorry if things were awkward for him. You owe him an apology as he seemed to have been a gentleman about it all. He might reconsider if he's into you but either way, you should call him up and explain things.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...