Did I ask this too soon?

Basically, I've been seeing this guy for about 3-4 months now and it has been great. We never had that official Are-we-exclusive chat but a few weeks ago he did mention that he wasn't dating anyone else and at that point I still was so I said not really. But anyways since then I am more appreciative of him and I am sure I want to date just him. Yesterday I asked him if he had mentioned me to anyone and he said "no?" but then asked me the same question in return in which I said yes and then he asked if I told my parents and I said just my close friend. In reality I just mentioned to her that I know this really nice guy and that was the end of it.

Since I am not 100% if we are exclusive or not I guess it doesn't make sense to tell my friends any more than that. But I was kind of bummed with his answer because I thought he really liked me... Does this mean he doesn't think I am worth mentioning to any of his friends? Or are guys just different than girls with this sort of stuff? Or is it too soon? Or should I of waited for him to introduce me to his friends/family who all live in another country... Help before I think too much about all this! :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's a huge waste of energy trying to determine how solid your relationship is with him based on guess work or assumptions.

    Here's what's most important... what do YOU want? If you want exclusivity (after 3 months that makes perfect sense otherwise you're wasting time) then it's perfectly okay to expect it. For most guys I know we prefer exclusivity after sex becomes regular. The three month mark is perfect.

    If you're in a 3 month relationship and you're still not comfortable simply talking to him openly and honestly then your relationship skills are a little weak. Now is a great time to start building the type of relationship you want... perhaps one where you're exclusive? Perhaps one where you're comfortable sharing insecurities and worries and such?

    If you're worried he's going to leave you, that's okay. It's better to scare him away then it is to waste the next year of your life dating someone who's not really into you.

    This life is too short to waste time chasing someone who's head isn't in the game, you know?

    I hope it all works out... but always remember... there's nothing a good at helping you get over your ex-boyfriend like someone new worth getting to know.

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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    • I've been waiting to see him in person to have the relationship chat since we live about 4.5 hours away from each other at the moment. Should I wait and discuss these things with him in person? BTW you are right, I need to build my relationship skills. Another thing is as much as I feel he likes me, I don;t know if he actually likes me, if that makes any sense... But thanks for your advice, its completely on target and helpful!

    • I am not even all that sure how a relationship talk goes, I've been single and focusing on my career for the past 2.5 years and dating and actually picturing myself in a relationship were things I didn't even think about until I met this guy...

    • Good for you.

      Relationship skills come from all of your relationships with everyone in your life. Get used to being open and honest with everyone you care about so that it's no longer a concern or awkward to discuss these things with the men you date. :)

      That's how you build your character and inner confidence.

What Girls Said 1

  • You told him you were still seeing someone else, of course he's not going to talk about it to his friends or family yet. You have to make it clear that you're not seeing anyone else. He's not dating anyone else though, so I think you're good.

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    • You're right, At this point I was assuming that he would know how serious I am through my actions but I guess I should vocalize it so the point gets across. Thanks for your advice! :)

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