How do I talk about kids?

Ladies:

I am a divorced father of three, and my problem is that I can get a lot of girls in good conversation, sometimes for hours, but inevitably it comes up that I have three kids and I have primary custody of them, at that point the women run for the hills! Does anyone have advice on how I can frame that to a girl to at least keep the conversation going? I don't mind losing the chance with someone I am attracted to because we don't have chemistry, but there is clearly some of that. I am just at a loss!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to face the fact that it will take a special woman to want to date you and stay with you. My husband has 3 kids but he has shared custody. We are together 1) because we had great chemistry and 2) he has his kids part-time.

    Even with that, having the kids has created plenty of opportunities for us to disagree. He's gotten downright angry at me for some of my observations and I have gotten very frustrated with him because he expects me to be perfect with his kids, a standard even he and his ex don't meet. Just consider that being a step-mom or even the girlfriend is harder than parenting. We are not allowed to discipline the kids the way their parents are. We are supposed to sit there and act happy while the kids whine and argue with each other. And, if you are not on top of your kids and they behave poorly, don't expect too many women to sign up for that. No one wants to live in a home that is ruled by the kids instead of by the parent.

    So, hey, at our age we all have baggage. That is life. We have kids, divorces, jobs, bills, etc. Gone are the days of dating in our 20's when we had no idea what was coming. It does take longer to meet the right person. Keep that in mind and keep dating until you find the person who thinks you are so great, they are up for the whole package that you represent.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think the best way to tell someone about your kids is to come out and say it first thing and be proud of it because really it is the biggest part about your life. if they ask what you do (which is usually how things start) you can say you are a father to 3 great kids and you work at bla bla bla that gives the girl a heads up and also 2 topics of conversation for her to choose to talk about.

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  • Try this strategy: Let people know right off the back that yo have kids but do not let them know yo want to date them. After they get used to socializing with you and being your friend, slowly move into the dating field by spicing up the benefits with your charm and charisma.

    I think it could be the surprise that changes the tone and not necessarily the fact that you have kids...

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What Guys Said 1

  • What kind of relationships are you looking for here?

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