Is the direct approach always best when asking a girl out?

For instance instead of asking for coffee I ask, "would you like to go out with me?" And then suggest coffee?

Or would that not work with most of you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's the timing of it. If some guy asked me to go out on a coffee date with him after we've talked for some time I wouldn't think anything of it. Just friends/acquaintances and I would continue to believe that no matter how many coffee dates we have until he actually asks me.

    Although when it actually comes to being asked out I prefer to get straight to it. No beating around the bush. I want to know your intentions.

    Sooo I'd suggest going on a couple outings/dates THEN ask them out. The other way around just seems odd. "Dating after marriage" is what comes to mind. It's awkward. Plus if you find out you don't really like the person after dates and you asked them out first then you have to awkwardly break up with them and they might just think you're a d*** for turning around so quickly. Sorta like saying "you're perfect" and then taking it back.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I like a man with a plan! I'm flattered when a guy has taken the time to plan out a date. It's nice to know he's thought of a specific place and time that he thinks I would appreciate even if it is just coffee. Hey she may tell you she can't meet at that time or whatever (in which case you ask her for suggestions on a better time...be persistent!) but either way she'll be impressed that you put in the extra effort just for her!

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  • Some woman feel comfortable when they are asked out in a way that isn't so obvious because it makes them feel like they are asked to explore you rather than being asked to make a commitment to you. A lot of girls run from the idea of commitment, but if you give them an "invitation" and not an "expectation" they are more likely to say yes.

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    • So dammed complicated. And here you see girls complaining about guys running from commitment.

    • Sorry, I don't mean to be complicated. I'm just saying that girls like to feel like they are allowed to explore you and taste you before making a commitment to you. To go on a date is to make a commitment to somebody (I've had guys get mad at me for not committing to them after the date) and girls shy away from commitment.

  • 'Would you like to go out with me' is a mouthful and really too much babes... just be cool, make some joke like you would with your guy mates and on the end of the convo, just be like, ahh we should have coffee one of these days. Never make a big thing out of the invitation to start with you know... So if you do get let down, it would be gentler.

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  • Hmm, I would respond more positively on the coffee. Would like to get to know you better before deciding whether I would like to "go out" with you. That has a "boyfriend/girlfriend" connotation to it..

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What Guys Said 1

  • if only it was that simple, I bet naturally, for all the guys out there including me, that struggle with girls, the asking the girl out part is not hard, it's basically entertaining her, talking to her first, because it's easy to run out of things to talk about, all of the awkward pauses, silences, etc.

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