What is the best way to bring up an ex?

It's getting to the point where I should tell my new guy about my ex. Only a few people knew about us: my friends and his roommate basically. I've mentioned him before but never said my ex's name, just told the story of how and when it ended. But now I feel like I should tell my new guy who it was. He is now roommates with my ex's roommate. (The roommate didn't say anything when we were introduced again, kinda hoped he would) And now apparently my ex and my new guy are "friends". They've never really gotten along but for some reason they were hanging out/partying together this weekend. I just feel like this should come from me. I don't want to make a big deal about it. But I am worried my new guy is gonna be upset, thinking I was hiding it from him. So how should I bring up my ex? Ideas?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sooner is necessary, before he hears about it from your ex, since your ex will have his own version of what happened and you might not like his version!...

    As you say, the longer you delay the more it will look like you were trying to hide something, although it doesn't sound there was much to hide if no one knew...


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What Guys Said 3

  • I think people put way too much thought into this. I say the simplest approach is the best.. go "I know we never talked about this. but I figure I should tell you that _insert_name_ is my ex" and just leave it at that.. if yer guy has questions answer it but everyone hates hearing about their bf/gf's ex so the more fluff you try to add to the announcement, the worse it'll be.

  • In general I don't like to do the debriefing on ex relationships, it just leads to jealousy. But, you have to let him know something if he is going to be around your ex a lot. Just say, "hey, I need to tell you something. It's not a big deal, but *insert name here* used to date and I want you to have heard that from me" answer some questions, but I wouldn't reveal a lot of information about your past relationship (especially sexual details)

    • I agree with this. I think if you don't tell him and he WILL end up finding out, he may think that you were hiding it for some reason.

  • A mistake women do in relationships, is bring up the past. Your past is your past. We don't really need to hear about it. If you bring it up, it makes us think you still like them, which makes me think you still like your ex, in this situation

    • i agree that the past is the past. And this is why I haven't talked to him about it. Originally he said he didn't need to know who I was with previously. But would you still feel this way if you started being friends with your girls ex, not knowing they were the ex?

    • It wouldn't bother me. Only if things started to become suspicious

What Girls Said 1

  • Just simply start with ' remember when I told you about ' and go from there , I'm sure you're new guy will understand just make sure you bring it up soon because he will really think you're trying to hide it if you wait later , good luck :)