Am I being too distant, or am I smothering him?

So I've recently gotten into a relationship with this guy, and while things go really smoothly most of the times, sometimes, like once a month or so, he'll get upset over something, won't tell me what that something is, and will not really talk to me for a day or so. I usually just back away until he gets over whatever was bothering him and contacts me. Is this the right thing to do? I'm unsure. Because on the one hand, this would be what to do if I want to avoid smothering him, but on the other hand, he has mentioned several times that "it feels like my feelings for you are millions of times stronger than your feelings for me" and has said I love you, which I haven't returned yet. This is just because I want to be pragmatic. So the questions: why does he withdraw randomly? And if I were to try to contact him during the periods when he withdraws, would it be smothering or normal? I want to offer him emotional support if he had a bad day but I can't unless I kind of be obnoxious and ask him a lot of questions... I don't know if that's what I should do. What should I do?


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What Girls Said 1

  • i have/had the same problem with my boyfriend. he was having issues with his dad and still does. ill know there's someting wrong wih him and as him and sometimes he'll talk about it sometimes he wont. I'll ask him about it and he'll completely reject me, so ill leave it and if I'm down he'll ask what's up and ill tell him nothing and he'll ride my ass til something's said. he tells me that if there's anything wrong that he's always there for me to talk to but its the complete opposite with him. I don't get it. so I guess what I'm saying is, if he has enuff on his mind he'll tell you eventually. I guess just keep asking & see what happens... and that you won't take no for an answer... just kinda push him a little into talking to you, he might not be use to opening up to someone either.

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    • But see that's the thing... I don't know how to keep asking him without seeming really naggy and obnoxious. how does he do it to you?

    • He'll keep asking me what's wrong what's wrong. Then I'll give in, but I'll just know something is weo and I'll ask him every 5 min, or until I annoying him enuff because you will not take no as an answer. But communication is KEY! lack of communication *will* lead to troubles in the future. I'm a very shy person that doesn't say much but we talk about everything now, it just takes time.

      Just remind him that ifthere or him to talk to, and that you won't condone him or judge him :)

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