How long should you hold out on a potential date?

So I asked a question about this shy girl. Sadly I can't link it, but it deals with a shy girl that I ran into in my complex that was interested in getting coffee with me when I asked her but was hesitant to give me her #. She told me to just knock on her door.

And since running into her and having her tell me to that, I haven't seen her. I've knocked on two separate occasions, once in the early afternoon on the weekend but she was asleep. the next week, I came by around 8-9pm Because normally people are back home by then. She was not there so I gave her roommate my name and number so she could get back to me about getting coffee.

This all took place over a 2 week span. Her roommate was telling me she's always busy which is understandable but I have other girls trying to get at me that I don't want to miss out getting to know. But if the #1 option isn't showing any signs, I will move on. I'm afraid she thinks I'm a player which is why I gave her my # instead. Put the ball in her court, and I'm just waiting to see what goes down.

The question is how long would you wait for any more signs of interest before moving on? I gave her my # mid week and I am planning on waiting a week and then saying oh well.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Contrary to what Guysensei said, I don't think knocking on her door twice is too much. Especially since she could have been at some extracurricular activity or something during the week. And all college students like to catch up on some sleep during the weekend. She might really be busy. Or she might have just changed her mind about the coffee. Whatever the case, give it another week, but then definitely move on. If she doesn't contact you after a week of giving her your #, then she's probably not interested and just doesn't want to tell you. Most girls would have at least sent a text saying sorry for being unintentionally elusive. Or, if she really doesn't feel comfortable giving out her phone number (which is probably a parent's rule or she may just be very particular about who can contact her at anytime), she should have found some other way to get into contact with you.

    • thank for the input, but yes I agree she can send me a text or find a way to contact me. I'll wait this week, but the weekend is when I expect to hear from her if she does decide to hit me up


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would back off for a bit let her comee to you. and date other girls in the meantime. even if this girl does think you are a player so what that just makes you all the more intriguing and alluring to her. if she sees you coming back to your place with other women she will want you---you will seem more appealing and will have to do less work. simple basic psychology. trust me on this. but ya in the meantime date other women.

    • yea, I agree. That's why I'm going to a party on sat lol.

  • That's too long, she has to reciprocate somehow, shy or not. She could have her roommate give you a message if she was really interested.

  • honestly, just leave her alone. If she was interested in you she would have made more of an effort to contact you or meet up with you. Your probably creeping her out by continuing to go there over and over and not get a hint..