How to prevent yourself from developing oneitus?

Oneitus: An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by un-reciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person. link

I would say I am prone to have this happen to me when I like someone. How do I prevent myself from doing this? Do others here develop this is well?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Until you and a woman are both serious, keep your options with others open. Don't stop looking until you are both ready to commit.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't sleep with men I'm incredibly attracted to, no matter how nice to me or fun to be around they are. I had to figure out my own pattern. I'm extremely attracted to passive-aggressive manwhores, so I just stopped messing with them altogether.

    What's your pattern?

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    • What makes a guy a "passive-aggressive manwhore?"

      My pattern is usually 'meet cute girl, get to know cute girl for a day or two, think about cute girl all the time when I'm not around her, develop crush on her, ask her out and get rejected, still feel like she's the one' something like that lol.

    • Sounds like you invest emotionally before you know if someone is worth it. When you find yourself building up a girl in your mind, ask yourself "Do I really know this about her, or am I assuming it based on really limited knowledge, physical desire and my longing for a relationship." Or, as they say on 40 Year Old Virgin "Stop putting p**** on a pedestal." Especially until you know if a) she's worth it and b) she's interested. A lot of time we humans build up illusions rather than reality.

What Guys Said 4

  • Ask them out as soon as possible, so you don't have time to get too obsessed before you know if it's worth it.

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  • Get out and experience more people/things, Kain.

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  • Just stop building girls up in your mind and work on getting to know them.

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  • Simple: Don't have too much invested in any one girl until WELL after you've slept with her. The best way to ensure that is to always have a few girls who you are working on or to always have the ability to get numbers of girls you're attracted to quickly.

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