Date downgrade?

I asked a girl I met online to dinner, she said she'd rather do coffee, saying that she had tons of homework.

We've been getting along very well for the past week or so chatting through texts and IMs. So I'm wondering, is she really just trying to get home early for homework or is she not as interested as I thought she was?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Could really go either way. Coffee/lunch is a very neutral environment to meet up and chat for the first time. It doesn't hold the same stereotypical expectations as dinner and a movie would. Girls often feel that if you go and spend money on th em, they are obligated to put out.. whether they actually DO put out or not will depend on the girl, but some simply diffuse the situation by offering a more laid-back venue. If you talk frequently, she wants to talk to you, and that should be a given. She may be behind on her homework, you can't really tell because you don't really know her yet. If she's more comfortable with coffee, go from there. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Coffee is a more relaxed environment. She may be interested, but would rather test the waters before going out on an actual 'date.' Just go with it and see how it goes. Good luck.

    Btw, I'm usually more comfy in a sports bar or coffee shop myself. Dinner for a first date seems to formal and nerve wracking!

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  • She could be telling the truth. She could also be taking things slowly. Coffee is not as intimidating as dinner for her. Coffee is better than nothing right? :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Have you never met face to face?

    If so, she's being smart. I'd do the same thing. It's too easy to assume that online relationships are a natural lead-in to real-world relationships. But the truth is they don't always work out that way.

    She's committing to 30-60 minutes to see if your online chemistry translates to the real world. She didn't say, "sometime, maybe, I'll call you." She agreed to a date. She's still wants to meet you, so that's a very good sign.

    I suspect she mentioned her homework partly to have an excuse to cut the meeting short. Even if she likes you, she might want to avoid rushing into anything.

    Good luck. Have fun.

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  • She wants to see whether she clicks with you first. My experience, dinner's a pretty poor first date; if you don't dig the person, you're stuck for the duration of the meal.

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  • i think coffee is her way of playing it safe so not to lead you on just yet.

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