Which guy should I pay more attention to?

I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. Lately I've been going out(nothing more) with an older guy with a nice job and more secure future, not because of that but because we have fun (drinks and nice dinners) I needed to get my mind off the depressing situation at home..my boyfriend made a bad investment and he has been very busy trying to make up for it, it's not fun at home. What are the chances my boyfriend will get back on his feet? I'm not getting any younger and I want to settle down.

Updates:
I'm not cheating. We only went out a couple of times completely alone, other times there was people with us. Nothing sexual ever happened

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So it's "not fun at home"...is it only because of the money situation? When times are tough, two people that love each other are drawn closer together, not further apart. On top of that, you have 2 different types of people in the world: those that care more about money/security/wealth/power, and those that care about compassion/love/helping others. (And those who haven't made up their mind yet.) If you don't feel you love the boyfriend at home enough to stick with him through this crisis, then be honest with him and be prepared to leave, because one thing a guy needs from a girlfriend is loyalty (if she loves him) and support. Without it, he'll leave you anyway. But if you feel you would be happier in life with the "older guy", even after your looks are gone and you're using a walker or wheelchair, then go with him - but be honest with the guy you're living with.

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What Guys Said 6

  • If you're between 18-24, you still have plenty of time. One word comes to mind when I read your situation: loyalty. You ought to be loyal to your boyfriend. There's never an easy relationship. You're going to face tough times even with this new guy. At least your boyfriend is trying. Instead of going out with this new guy, maybe you should go home and spend time with your boyfriend.

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  • Depends what you want. If you want a guy who tries to fix his mistakes, and you want to prove you are marriage material and can work through adversity, stay with your current guy.

    If you want to get used by an older guy with money, and show everyone you are shallow and wouldn't ever be worth a sh*t as a wife, then leave him and go be with the older dude.

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  • You're cheating on your bf...and I'm 90% certain that you know what you're doing is wrong and you started this thread to somehow receive validation for your wrong actions.

    You need to break-up with your boyfriend if you want to see other ppl.

    Is there a reason why you don't wanna break up with your boyfriend and see the new guy WITHOUT cheating?

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  • Your boyfriend! He's going through a rough time and your resolve is to hang out with someone else?

    You're 24 at oldest, you still have a couple of years left. Give him some time for christ's sake, dumping him over this would be extremely shallow.

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    • Even if you're not cheating physically, you're cheating emotionally.

  • you will regret settling down with the wrong guy. if you decide to break up with your current boyfriend, it should be because you don't have feelings for him anymore, not because he invested badly or because this other guy has a better job. only you can decide which of them (if either) you really want. to be honest, you sound more interested in their money than you do them. and when you settle down, it's not going to be all plain sailing and you can't just run away when trouble hits.

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  • flip a coin. but don't look at it. While its in the air you'll know what side you want

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why exactly is home depressing? Because he's been working a lot? ...Anyways it sounds like you don't even love him, or love him that much, if you're considering another relationship just because your current boyfriend is struggling financially. Even though you say it's nothing more than going out with the other guy, that's still kind of odd to me; I wouldn't be going out multiple times for 'nice dinners' with a guy if I knew my boyfriend was at home by himself. Basically to me it seems that you're not as invested in a future and relationship with your boyfriend as it is, so both of you would probably be better off if the relationship ended

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  • well I'm sure there's more to your situation with your boyfriend that's made it depressing. and that's a tough call. I can understand how you want stability and security. everybody does including your boyfriend. I'm wondering about the bad investment he made (how was the decision made, did you know about it, etc.) if there is one thing that can destroy a relationship its money.

    i was also curious about going out with an older guy. does your boyfriend know this or are you sneaking around behind his back? that will destroy any relationship. and I don't know if its to even the score between you two (maybe you're inadvertantly doing that) but at some point you're going to have to make a decision for yourself and your relationship(s). by the way does older dude know about boyfriend at home? how honest you're being about what is going on is the only way to resolve this. and I think your boyfriend has a right to know too ok? take care.

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