What did I do to cause him to leave?

I was semi-seeing this guy... I felt we liked each other a lot- there was no doubt that the attraction and compatibility was there. It's just that the status of our relationship was never clear... It's killing me that after a couple of "dates" he decided to vanish after saying that he'd like to "reschedule" the 3rd date. I was left with no closure and false hope.

We actually met through a youth conference, and we got to become good friends in just a few days. We parted ways when it ended. We live pretty far away so we didn't expect to see each other again until next year.

A couple weeks later, he broke up with his long-term girlfriend and contacted me to "meet up". (He said that his now ex-girlfriend knew about me and was upset because she thought we had a thing, but the break up wasn't my fault.)

Yeah, we saw each other twice and each time was absolutely incredible. But there were some possible red flags behind the scenes that I think I ignored... maybe you guys can tell me what the heck happened. He cancelled the 3rd date claiming that he had and a family event (which was true), and therefore needed the rest of the weekend to do homework (which I'm not sure is true). He sounded sincere so I still had my hopes up... but after 2 weeks without followup from him, I concluded that I got DITCHED.

- He only initiated contact to plan the first date, and to text the next day saying he had fun. After that, the initiation was all me.

- Our contact was never publicized (Facebook), which I thought MIGHT have been weird. We only talked through private message and occasional text. Was he trying to hide me from his world? (We have a totally SEPARATE group of contacts... almost no mutual friends.)

- When we were together face to face, he showed a TON of interest. I was 110% sure we would end up official. When we were apart... nothing was there.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Aww this is such a tough spot to be in, I feel for you... It kinda seems like this guy has no idea what he wants! I know when you guys are together it feels great, but if he's not even putting the effort in to see you and make time for you, it seems like he might not be interested in a relationship with you right now. Maybe he just wants to be friends or maybe he just wants to hopefully hook up sometime. But I have learned that if a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he will always make time for you... I don't know if I would waste my time with this one, but ultimately the decision is up to you and what you feel is right. I don't know either of you or the complete story, but this is just an outsiders opinion.

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