Haven't been here in a while.....How do I handle this?

So the other day I found my girlfriends phone lying around, and against my better judgement picked it up and when through the text messages. I found a few text messages that lets say are a little suspect. I haven't said anything to her since I know I am wrong for looking in her phone. How do I handle this. I'm think about about waiting a little bit and looking again to see if she has deleted the messages. Seems like that would just make it worse tho. Help me out please

Updates:
One group of messages was from a guy who I already told her I was uncomfotable with her talking to, it seemed pretty innocent. Another was from a guy who was asking if they could smoke together and he could come over and play with her dog (which he called by name) again. and the thrid was from a number not in her phone saying he finally got her number from her friend the her saying he should come out when I know she was at the bar.
Also its not just the texts because I feel like I'm pretty trusting it is A) I've never heard of these guys before (except for the first one). also the fact the when I told her she left her phone on the table when she walked by she laughed and said did you see all my incriminating text messages, which came offf as a little wierd. I didn't bring it up right then because we were drinking and I felt it wasn't a good time. Now I'm over thinking it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you elaborate on what those messages say then I can help you out some more, but don't jump to conclusions if this is a girl you have no other reason to doubt. You arnt really wrong for looking in her phone if you think about it, if there was nothing to hide then it wouldn't matter would it because you would have picked it up, been a bit curious but seen nothing wrong and put it down again. But you saw something that concerned you. Is she quite open with everything else? Is her pc password protected? Is her phone usually lying around or does she always hide it from you? Is there any other reason to doubt her?

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    • Sorry, can't help but disagree with you there. Checking cell phones is a sign of lack of trust. Very bad sign.

    • On one hand I know it is wrong to look through someones phone. On the other, if you have nothing to hide, why would it matter? Anyone can go through my phone whenever. I have nothing to hise. My ex left his Facebook open and I read messages. He was planning a trip with another (married) woman whose husband is in the army across seas. I checked his phone often because I was really insecure. I found a lot of stuff that made me very unhappy.

    • I understand checking phones is a lack of trust generally, but sometimes you get a gut instinct and just suddenly look without thinking. I never look through peoples things, not even boyfriends, but the one time I just suddenly did it without thinking I found out he had been cheating on me. (hes an ex now ofc)

What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly, just talked to her about it if it is worrying you or she is acting different. If she hasn't responded to them in a flirty or overly friendly way then there's nothing to really be worried about, but if it makes you feel concerned just say to her you picked up her phone and know you shouldn't have but now you have worried yourself. Or let you phone battery die when you're out somewhere and you could try asking her if you can use her phone to send a message, then ask who those texts are from or see if she deleted them. Not saying be deceitful, but maybe tactical.

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  • Just talk to her and ask her about how she feels about the relationship and where it's going, ask her if she cheats would she ever tell you, ask her what she feels is cheating or wrong in a relationship and you tell her what you think is wrong in a relationship.

    Just talk it through and ask her to be honest with you, don't bring up the going through the cellphone thing with her. good luck

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What Guys Said 3

  • Let us know what exactly it says...You may be reading it wrong. I would confront her regardless...looking in her phone. (if she was messing around with anotha guy)

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  • Don't loose hope, even though it's a distraction, Goodluck!

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  • If you're the sort of guy who is both paranoid and insecure enough to go through his partners phone, then you're certainly also the sort of person who would find reason to worry in the most innocent of text messages.

    Leave it alone. Pretend you saw nothing. And work on your personality because it needs work.

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    • It was not outta paranoia as much as curiosity just for the record...ie there was nothing that made me want to check it. But fair is fair I no I shouldn't have looked at it so I respect the comment

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