Will this ever get past friends/dating phase or am I being a fool?

I have been seeing a guy since November and we have been taking things very slow but I'm starting to think it will never get past the friends/dating phase at all. At first I was fine because I have a lot going on in my life and so does he so slow was good but he always avoids the convo when I start to bring it up. We see each other one maybe 2 times a week and rarely go out anymore. He is nice when we hang out but doesn't act like a guy would when he is really interested in a girl (saying sweet things, wanting to show her off ect) I'm not a high maint girl at all, in fact I'm more of a giver than a taker but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of at this point. Plus whenever I make a joke about being not seeing anyone else he just moves on the a new subject right away and never says anything. Am I just thinking to much or is this going no where fast? Thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • That's a pretty long time to have been dating if he still won't even discuss/joke about commitment with you...

    But did you guys talk about/agree to take things slow? If you did, then maybe he's just not ready to put a label on the relationship yet.

    I guess what you have to ask yourself is: are you bothered that things haven't moved forward because you want to be in a committed relationship -- or are you bothered because it seems like he DOESN'T want to be in one with you?

    I'm kind of in a similar situation myself at the moment! And with me, I'm not sure if I want to really be in a relationship at all, let alone in one with the guy I'm currently seeing - but I start to get frustrated/impatient if he acts like he doesn't either. It's pretty hypocritical lol but I suppose it just makes me wonder 'what's wrong with me if he doesn't want to make me his girlfriend?'

    But if it's not just that for you and you DO actually want to be in a relationship or even if he's not really giving you what you want, then I guess you have to decide if you can continue waiting for him to say something or change his mind. If not, then I would say bring it up with him lightly - but firmly! you might need to wait until you're both sitting down or something and make sure he knows you're not just kidding. If you guys already talked about going slow then you could just ask him if he's ready to be a little more serious/involved (without making it sound clingy, lol)

    But you could always just suggest spending more time together to gauge how he feels...

    The guy I'm seeing always says cute things and sometimes jokes about 'us' but that's really as far as it goes. He's a bit shy though so I put it down to that :) it all depends on the person I suppose... if it's easy for you to be affectionate, it's easy to assume that everyone is the same - but some guys (and girls) find it difficult to say anything sweet/nice at all.

    For me, I find it easy to be physically affectionate but sometimes it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to open my mouth and tell my feelings to people, especially if they haven't already done so. Maybe he just needs to be reassured that you really care about him :)

    Anyway good luck! :)

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