Guys is it a turn off if a girl wants to pay for her own meals?

Let me elaborate please before all the sexist get worked up.

I've only dated one guy my entire life, we're still together but I've always been curious about this.

I think if I started dating again even, god forbid lol

That I would prefer to pay for my own meals, at first at least

It would make me more comfortable at first, I wouldn't mind him paying sometimes after we moved into the actual dating phase. And by the way I like chivalrous men , door being opened , being treated like a woman all the nice things like that but I'm not sure I want a guy I just went out on a date with once to be spending money on me just yet.

Would it be a problem for most guys and have you ever went on a date with a girl that did this ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly it is a turn off. I got into a huge fight with an ex about this and I think it's one of the biggest reasons we broke up. On dates the guy always pays, it's the way I was raised I guess. If a girl won't let me pay it's very awkward and I feel almost rejected by her. Me paying is my way of saying I like her and want to treat her like a princess and think she deserves to be treated like a princess. If she won't let me pay it's like she is rejecting the action I use to show her I like her and therefore rejecting me.

    If you want to show the guy you also appreciate him surprise him with presents (like concert tickets, movies, or whatever he's into) but let him pay on dates if he insists. You can also cook for him if you're hanging out at your house or if you can't cook well order in food before he gets there so it just shows up when he's there and tell him I figured we would get hungry so I ordered food. On formal dates at restaurants the guy always pays though.

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    • I see what you're saying, I like your ideas also

      thanks for answering

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    • We may not agree all the way but I like your ideas and thanks for opening my mind a little more

    • You're welcome. Thanks for BA : )

What Guys Said 10

  • no, there's nothing wrong with going dutch. it can be refreshing to find a girl who is self sufficient anyway.

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  • More of a turn on then a turn off, well at least for me.

    I always look out for everyone, but if a woman wants to carry her own weight , then I respect that.

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  • No, it wouldn't. But I would still insist paying for the first date, especially if I asked her out. If she wants to go dutch on the second, no problem.

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  • nothing wrong with that shows him alot..i think the only thing guys know for a fact is a turn off is if you start acting like a man and won't let him play his role that's a super turn off..just stay in your lane and you will never be a turn off:)

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    • I see what you're saying, thanks

  • Not at all. If I offered to pay and she wanted to pay for her half that's her freedom of choice. I would never infringe on that.

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  • Ummmm, YEAH! How else can I guilt the girl into sleeping with me if I didn't spend any money on her?

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    • lol exaclty the type of situation I would be tring to avoid by paying for myself

  • It might work out better that way. If I pay for a woman's meal, I'll see to it that she eats every last thing on her plate. Even the little pads of butter.

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    • hey those little pads of butter are good...

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    • lol I bet you have women in line to date you

    • As good fortune would have it, women my age like to have their dinner paid for, and they like to eat little pads of butter. It all evens out.

  • Not at all.

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  • Heavens, no. That's a good thing.

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  • Why don't you want a guy who you are comfortable going out with to pay for your meal?

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    • I've been asked out by guys before (even though I said no because I had a bf) and if I had just met them, why would I feel comfortable ?

      I mean it takes along time to get to know someone and I don't really want them to spend money on me yet, I guess I'm just guarded when I don't know someone

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    • It's just a first date and just because you think someone is nice and comfortable to be around at first doesn't mean they are.

      I guess just in case they would turn out to be anything other than a nice guy then I wouldn't want them to pay for anything for me yet.

      It would just make me more comfortable to pay for myself until I got to know them better

    • Do you feel that them paying entitles them to something?

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sure guys would see it as a turn on and that you're just independent, nothing wrong with that. I've done it before. Just because I like having that freedom of taking care of myself as well as picking what and where I want to eat without putting pressure on the guy.

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    • yeah I was thinking that also at least until you get to know the guy somemore at least

      : ) thanks for answering

      love your hair also by the way, people with nice hair must be attracted to this question for some reason

    • Yea exactly. Thanks (:

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