Real men don't ask girls out/don't chase girls. Do you agree?

Real men control the situation. Asking a girl out equals NOT having control. She's the one who is in control (gives him a chance or rejects him). He's the helpless/powerless admirer.

Why would a real man humiliate himself like that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I kinda see what you are saying, women, well the majority, want men to have the power, as David DeAngelo refers to it, he says that nice-guys give away their power, how the f*** do real men have the power when women just have to welcome or deny advances? Women have the Final say, that is power

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What Girls Said 10

  • A real man doesn't need to be in full control all the time. For me a man is someone who can take action and go after what he wants regardless of the outcome. Life is about taking chances and being able to take the good and the bad. You might not always get what you want however you can control how you deal with the end result.

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    • why is going after what you want a masculine thing? it really pisses me off

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    • Where is the logic in letting life pass by as you sit on the sidelines twirling your thumbs wondering why you never did anything. I am were I am in life because I made it happen. If I was a guy I would want the same in a women. I want someone with ambition, and full of life willing to take chances make mistakes and get dirty in the process. It takes the go after what you want and make it happen attitude that is going to get the results.

    • yeah well that go after what you want and make things happen is expected in men way more than women according to life, society, which I hate, despise, loathe with a huge burning passion because I hate being rejected

  • well I guess there are no "real men" in this world only p****** because it takes major balls to approach someone you like and have the potential to get turned down. wimps stand back and let other people move in for them. I give MAJOR probs to ANY guys who apprach girls. good for you :)

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    • "wimps stand back and let other people move in for them"

      you basically admit you're a wimp. congratulations.

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    • i hate how we guys get labeled p******, wimps, cowards for not wanting to approach a girl, seriously, it pisses me off

    • ... and this comes from a real woman

  • No, I disagree

    But keep telling yourself that :P

    A chivalrous guy is a winner in my opinion, but that's just me :P

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    • you don't agree? it's not an opinion, it's a fact. you can't deny the facts. men who approach have no control/women have the power.

      of course you don't want to admit men who approach you are helpless/have no power. I mean... it's so relaxing to get approached. you don't want real men to expect you to approach them. you love to have power over all those sissy men who ask you out/humiliate themselves.

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    • at least you admit it.

  • Real men the BALLS to go after what they want. Someday, when you stop being a p****, you'll realize that real men are the ones who are happily married/in relationships unlike you.

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    • haha what a ridiculous answer. it doesn't take balls to approach girls. you act like girls are dangerous and scary... rofl how am I supposed to take you seriously? how come you don't lose respect for guys who approach you. I mean... YOU have all the power/YOU decide. guys who approach girls turn into helpless sisssies... that's a fact.

      i am in a relationship, sorry to disappoint. she showed interest in me --> I ignored her. she begged for my attention, not the other way around.

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    • Most guys do have standards.

    • and why is going after what you want a masculine thing? who or what said so?

  • So basically you are saying tha women should be the ones asking guys out because YOU have the power?

    What about a little chivalry...or being a gentleman? If there is mutual interest then there is no need to feel powerless or anything...

    I don't think guys are helpless...that takes something to ask a girl out. Same for girls who ask guys out. So yeah I disagree & maybe I'm old fashioned but its always nice when guys ask me out. I don't want to always suggest everything...guys that plan dates win points in my book...but that's my personal opinion :)

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    • Feminism put chivalry on the brink of death. =\

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    • Well I don't know who stepped on YOUR big toe but the last 2 dates I went on the GUY paid, opened my door, set up the date and drove. I could have done all those things myself yet he took the time to do it. You say most men but I don't think "men" kill chivalry. It's the boys that do it. Don't knock it because you're not a fan. When guys find a girl or woman that they WANT to pursue they will do anything to get her attention INCLUDING open doors, pay etc...am I not right?

    • f*** masculinity

  • Well I'd be offended if a guy chased after me with a machete :(

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    • Lol, always keep the composure and only get offended haha

  • I can see where you're coming from, but a man is only helpless and powerless if he let's himself become that way... I guess women thing that if the guy chases after them that shows that he wants them enough.. I understand, I can't tell you why it's like that but yeah...

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  • Clearly someone (you) has mutliple accounts to downvote several times every answer you disagree with... sad -.-

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    • LMAO sweet18, is it you? you are pathetic. of course I have 8! accounts. 8 upvotes for moviedude... for some strange reasons only 6 downvotes for you... why is that?

      seriously, you're hilarious. almost every guy on here agrees with me. read their answers. facts prove you wrong. nice try though ;) *kisses*

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    • Yeaahh still means nothing, someone as sad as you would have the all the time in the world to have multiple accounts with that many answers...

      I call bullsh*t there, you can say you're in a relationship? but it doesn't mean much when you're anonymous, but if you are, I feel sorry for the poor dilusional girl that would actually be attracted to you.

      So what do you do when you like a girl, just never approach for them and hope they make the first move? That's much more helpless to me.

    • It's better to not pay attention to those that hide behind a computer screen and behind annonymity.

  • Interesting perspective. I neither agree nor disagree but I like that fact that you think outside the box.

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  • Real men take risks and don't rely on others to make things happen. How does that fit with your theory?

    Quit trying to make excuses as to why you are afraid of approaching women. You know its because you are afraid of rejection.

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    • i'm not afraid of approaching women. I simply like having cotrol over the situation. asking a girl out equals NOT having control. men don't like to feel powerless. unless a girl shows interest in me, I won't give her a chance.

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    • i agree with moviedude

What Guys Said 20

  • yeah why do we guys have to approach, talk, speak, use our social-skills, conversation-skills, confidence, to attract girls? why can't we just attract them by fighting it out like male animals do against other male animals, yeah I will admit I've posted this video many times but it just sounds very Alpha of Mr.T, would love to challenge a girl's boyfriend to a fight to try to win the girl over, or just make myself feel like I'm a better man than he is, if I was very physically strong and capable of beating up any girl's boyfriend I wanted to, I would say this in front of her boyfriend: link

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  • seriously, I hate the standards, traits that girls find attractive in guys, they expect, demand too much from us guys

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  • I'm tired of hearing real men do this, real men do that. Yet I know it's natural to look for a good role model to fit or for rules to follow so you can't get it wrong, it's human. I think a real man it's just a real person who's grown up, where grown up means to me that you still value the opinions of others, yet you've discovered you are an OK person without needing to be the person people or society says you should be. I think a real man chases a girl, and a think a real man is chased by girl. A real man who does not chase girls is just someone who's playing a more sophisticated and successful game, playing with people and women's fragile egos, yet a game nonetheless. I do think most adult are adult just in terms of biology and a number saying the age, not in terms of psyche. What annoys me the most is people saying you should do that or this to be a real man, so basically they tell do as I tell you to be a real man, but the irony of it is that to tell someone do as I tell you is to in reality treat them like a puppet. So what I would TELL you, is to look inside you. AT least, this is what I'm trying to do for myself. But I don't feel a real man, so it's my 2 cents.

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  • Being a "real" man isn't decided on who makes the first move of chases the woman. I personally believe it's decided on a few factors.

    1) Be fair to everyone- not a brown-noser or suck-up, but instead fair treating everyone with respect

    2) Be in control- which doesn't mean you never ask a woman out, it means you take the time to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with this person or just a quick fling, and you know that it's not the end of the world if she says "no". Make sure you can provide for yourself, and your other half or family and are financially stable.

    3) Understand the difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is knowing where you stand and who your are. Confidence is being sure in yourself. Arrogance is thinking you're better than those who think differently to you and have different opinions. A confident person doesn't have to speak on every topic in conversation, but an arrogant person just has to stick his nose in.

    In my personal opinion, I think one day boys grow up and either realize that they have to (to put it crudely) "man up" and sort things out and not worry about getting with as many girls as possible, but instead wait for the woman that they are attracted to and 'take control' by "asking them out", not by humiliating themselves because if they say "no" then as above it's not the end of the world.

    Take this as my opinion and think of it what you will.

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  • "Real men" don't tell other men they're not "real men" for reasons as senseless as this.

    Also, many girls feel the same way about not asking a guy out, so if nobody is asking anyone out, we wouldn't get very far, would we? Putting yourself out there is scary, get over it.

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    • i hope you're kidding. there is nothing scary about putting yourself out there. it's emasculating, right, but it isn't scary.

    • "Emasculating" and "scary" are both subjective in the situation. Not everyone feels the same. I personally think "emasculation" is a bullsh*t concept, but I'm not going to tell you you're wrong for feeling that way.

  • Who the hell asks women out nowadays

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  • i hate gender roles with a huge passion

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  • I had that viewpoint for years... unfortunately, chicks don't go for it.

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  • Life isn't a movie. There's no such thing as "control". Just remember that Machette doesn't send texts ;p

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  • Yes and no. Usually the man deals with rejection graciously and moves on... But that was then and this is now. Problem for most men is not really rejection as per say. But rejection from women who are not worth it...rejection from women who have an over inflated sense of which 'league' they are in. There are better ways of meeting women now than cold approaching, which is something I find very creepy anyway. Move on with the times

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  • Well, my defination of a "real man" is a male who is 18 or over. That group contains one hell of a variety of people with different opinions and beliefs.

    I think women ponder the complexities of manhood more than men these days. From what I've observed, a woman's definition of what a "real man" is, is coincidentally good or favourable for her, e.g. "real men approach women" *coughBScough*...

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  • i agree with carlo

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  • Real men tell a women they are going out and don't ask

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  • Yes. That is the best technique, please use it more.

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  • this makes me very angry, full of rage

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    • what do you mean? what exactly makes you angry?

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    • i know what you mean. men are expected to be tough and strong all the time. women lean back. it is not a fair world.

    • yeah, life is not fair I learned that a long time ago, it makes me want to rebel against societie's, life's rules

  • seriously it really f***in' pisses me off, makes me very angry, frustrated, mad, it just makes me want to lose my mind, explode, go bezerk, i hate how or why society, life, culture, has all of these rules, standards, expectations, as to how a "man" is supposed to be, i hate how they expect us guys to toughen it up all the damn time, it's like society, life, culture, has all of these rules, standards, expectations, as to what seperates a boy from a man but never for a girl from a woman, i hate how society, life, culture, expect us guys to always take charge, initiative, control, make things happen, go after what we want, know what we want, be a leader, be decisive, be dominant, strong, have the right attitude, mentality, way of thinking, the right character, the right body-language, have confidence, have a "don't care what girls think of me" attitude, not seek approval or validation from anybody, not be dependent on anybody, seriously it has made me develop a misogynistic attitude towards women, girls, it makes me praise, admire, those guys, men out there who committ domestic violence, beat their wives or girlfriends, because those girls, women, deserve that for making us guys do all the work, carry the whole load, burden upon our shoulders, seriously, i hate the arguments, comments, debates, that say we guys, since we have testosterone we have to be more aggressive, assertive, take charge, go after what we want, that it is in our nature, well i would rather use my balls and testosterone for instigating violence instead of taking charge, initiative, control, going after what i want, leading, being dominant, testosterone obviously makes guys, men naturally more violent, why do you think the vast majority of violent crimes throughout history have been committed by males? why can't we guys use our balls, testosterone for that instead of going after what we want, taking charge, control, initiative, being a leader, being dominant, making things happen, etc.? seriously, i swear, literally have punched a guy's lights out before for telling me to man up, be a man, grow a pair, grow some balls, because those sexist phrases, quotes get so damn annoying, frustrating. i would even love to kill him, but i obviously do not want to get into any legal trouble, go to jail, prison, etc., so i won't do it, but seriously, there just comes a point in a person's life where they just can't take it anymore, they reach the boiling point, the clock ticks nearer, closer to when you just want to explode!, if killing was legalized, i would kill a person for telling me to be a man, man up, grow a pair, grow some balls, expecting me to toughen it up, like this: link

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    • AMEN BROTHER, YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH!

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    • i think you took it a little too far bro, but I understand and feel your pain, frustration

    • SERIOUSLY IT PISSES ME OFF!

  • real men are the ones who f*** girls so you know, asking or not asking, chasing or not chasing, who gives a f***? Just f*** them already dude

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  • You're a coward, trying to justify the fact that you're too scared to ask a girl out, as being some sort of macho thing.

    That's crazy.

    If being too afraid to ask a girl out, is how measure yourself as a "real" man, then you must have nothing else you can call yourself a real man about.

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    • scared? AHAHAHA why would a man be scared? ahahah what a retared word to use. I'm scared of tigers and lions... approaching women is not dangerous/it's easy... but it is NOT manly. wow, you must be a real pu$$y if you think it's scary to approach women ahahah so sad and pathetic.

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    • why can't we use our balls, testosterone, for instigating violence, fighting, instead of taking charge, control, initiative, going after what we want, making things happen, being a leader, being dominant, being a "rock", that would be so much easier, like I really fantasize about beating up a girl's boyfriend, punching his lights out to show the girl I'm more of a man than he is, it would that I have strength, I'm stronger than him, c'mon, that's how male animals handle things

    • i agree with frustratedchump

  • Let me guess...never had a girlfriend before?

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    • lmao 3 downvotes within 2 minutes. nice.

    • Trying to avoid the subject...nice.

  • Real men watch p*rn and masturbate,they don't need girls

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    • Until it bleeds, because real men don't feel pain, lol !

    • No. Real men need the touch of a woman :) You can't keep denying it. You crave our soft bodies :P

    • haha love both an and yo answers haha

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