Honestly the only success I've had with women are the one's who went after me... Anytime I make a move, I never know what I'm doing and end up confusing or freaking the girl out, even if she likes me I am either too aggressive or not enough. Social skills are not exactly my forte.
So I've pretty much given up trying to make the first move. Will many girls actually make the first move? From what I've found the girls I really like will not make a move... they drop a lot of hints but never ask.
Now I met this girl I really like and she likes me but I probably won't pursue her.. I feel trapped in my situation and powerless to do anything. Any advice? And please don't say be more confident... you can't have confidence in something you consistently fail at.
Most Helpful Girl
Your lack of confidence due to repeated failure is completely understandable and rational. However, the emotion of fear (which is what causes lack of confidence & is learned by repeated failure as a natural reaction) is really, really in all honesty brought down through this process:
1.) ask yourself--do I want to be this afraid of girls? if the answer's no, move to question 2.
2.) is this a threat to my life? or my well being? if the answer is no, fear is not justified by the situation and move to the next step.
3.) Ask yourself, what is the catastrophe? Literally think through the worst possible thing that could happen. Is it life-threateningly terrible? If no, move to the next step.
4.) Is this girl the same exact person as every other girl that taught me to be afraid? if no, move to the next step.
5.) Take a deep, deep, deep breath, and approach. This may increase your fear at first, but if you keep at it and keep your mind cheerleading yourself that you can do it, and really keep engaged in the conversation like pay attention to what you are saying, what the girl is saying, focus on keeping your eyes locked on hers, putting a smile on, standing relaxed, having a conversation.
6.) The fear will go down and eventually your confidence will build.
Please try it! Just once! :) For me :) Good luck!1