I just found out that my now husband was dating someone else when we first started dating. Obviously he broke up with her. He did so because he started to get feelings for me. We were friends and hung out sometimes. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend at the time (and we were in the barely dating stage where we didn't even hug and it was more like two friends hanging out).
I don't know why he wouldn't tell me about this information? Why did he keep it a secret? I am not sure how I would have taken the news knowing that he just left another girl for me? But I am pretty sure I would not have spent as much time with him if I had known he had a girlfriend.
This question is probably silly, cause I don't think it changes how I feel about my husband now. I am so happy I am married to him. I just am shocked and trying to process this new information.
Most Helpful Guy
Well, he might have just never mentioned it because he generally didn't think it was important.
Many people feel that in dating, it's perfectly acceptable to date many people at the same time especially when you don't have any real feelings for them. It's how you get out, do fun things, have sex maybe, whatever.
It's only when you're actually involved with someone seriously, that you have the talk about being exclusive, and then you're in a real relationship.
Sounds to me like you were someone he was dating, but not exclusively. And when he started having real feelings for you, he did the correct thing and stopped seeing everyone else and devoted himself to you exclusively.
I think you might have been operating under an assumption about his dating habits, without ever having actually confirmed them.
It might help you to realize that what your husband did is not uncommon. It is in fact, very typical, and very normal.1