Is mass contacting girls on OkCupid a good strategy?

If I message hundreds of girls surely a few will want to meet me? Thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey! I like that strategy! Like if I send out an email to 10,000,000,000 addresses offering herbal enhancements, and only 0.0001% of people answer, I still get rich!

    Seriously, someone else mentioned that girls get like 10 messages a day. That's wrong. It can be in the HUNDREDS. Mass contacting can backfire if you are sending out, "Hey, what's up?" messages. Some ladies on the sites are friends, and will share there messages with each other from all the desperate leg-humpers. ON THE OTHER HAND, if you take a few minutes to actually read the ladies' profiles, make sure you have a fair amount in common and match at least most of their criteria, and send out a personalized message that is different for each one, there's nothing at all wrong with contacting 100s of women a day.

    Remember, you are one of possibly thousands of messages she will see each week. If you want a chance at a follow-through make sure to READ and RESPOND TO her profile.

    I have several single lady friends on various dating sites, and boy do I get to hear the stories.

    • Haha, I do this! I personalize ALL the messages and reference several items in their profile, and my response rate is like 5%.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I was going to say that it won't work because girls will only respond to longer, more personal messages, but apparently you do send those. Considering this, I'm really surprised only 5% of the girls respond to your messages. Are they actually personal or just a default message with a different hobby in each one? I'd imagine if you really spend time on the messages more girls would respond. Also, how much time does this take you? And it seems as though you'll message any girl and go out with her if she responds to your message, but I'm finding it hard to believe that you're actually attracted to all of these women. Surely your taste should limit the amount of women you contact? Just wondering. :)

    • They are ALL personal... not generic or brief

  • It's the only strategy since the guys out number the girls by a lot on dating sites.

    • but I am special

    • But only the special girls will see that and how else will you know which ones are special if you don't contact as many as possible. LOL

      When I was single and on dating sites I would get so many. Don't waste your time trying too hard to write about what you saw in her profile that caught your attention, more guys then you know do that. It is a waste of your time, if I didn't think the guy was good looking in his profile pic, I wouldn't even read what he wrote.

    • Go unanonymous so I can add you?

What Guys Said 2

  • Think from the girl's perspective. She probably gets 10 messages a day from dudes with general "what's up" lines. Try to put something there that is meaningful that makes her want to respond. It's no guarantee you will, but the best strategy is to find the girls you are interested in, and invest time and effort in them.

    The quality of girls on these sites frankly isn't soooooooo deep that mass contacting will give you what you want. Guys too I guess, but I can't speak to that.

    • I do! I mention specific things in her profile

    • That's perfect then. The more girls you message the better as long as they are quality messages. I'm just saying don't sacrifice quality for quantity

  • Ive tried, Epic fail.