When you tell a guy to stop doing something and he takes it literally!

[Anonymous]

My new boyfriend has a habit of texting and calling me 10+ times a day, he has also started tagging me in his status posts and just can't seem to keep his hands off me when we kiss. When we do kiss he just keeps wanting to continue. If I move my head away he gets hold of my chin and moves in again. When we do go to bed he just won't leave me alone and as soon as he wakes up, whever I'm asleep or not he tries to wake me up by thrusting himself on me.

He is also very verbal with his feelings towards me, in fact in one night he can tell me I'm beautiful, I'm amazing, I'm such a lovely person, he really likes me, he is falling for me, he loves me, over and over again.

Now I have said I want him to cut down on the contact as he isn't giving me the chance to miss him and that maybe sometimes it would be nice to just cuddle up and watch a film. I have expressed my concern that he always expects sex every time we see each other. Plus I have said actions speak so much more than words.

Since I have mention these things, and I did do it in a nice way, he has literally stopped all of it lol.

He will only text or call me if I have initiated it and now he doesn't say any nice things at all, although he has started writing me poems and being more romantic.

We do cuddle and he hasn't groped me at all, which is a relief to be honest. I just felt like a sex toy before.

Is his behavior because he has the hump and is really not happy I have expressed how I feel?

[stubbsy]

possibly not, but you need to give him time to adjust and understand what your words meant, he may need reassuiring sometimes that its OK to at times be spontaneous and initiate sex, but all the time whenever you both meet is not good, and that a cuddle is appropriate, the fact that he is being romantic is a good way for him to express what he used to tell you, but again, ley him know that you would like him to be spontaneous with that but not constant, eventually he will understand that all this means a lot more when its rationed, because when constant, the meanings of the words dissappear and become daily life, which gets taken for granted and eventually means nothing, but try and give him support in his efforts and guide him to express his emotions in a way you enjoy, good luck,x

[Asker]

I think although me being really honest with him has taken him by surprise, it has enabled us to communicate on a different level. He is willing to listen and take action but is also not a walk over and I know this and don't want him to be. I think he has taken a step back and thought about what I said and can see where I am coming from. I know he is a keeper x

[Anonymous]

He's probably embarrassed that you didn't like his behavior before. It's really not that hard for guys to get over excited when we have a new girlfriend and do all the things you just mentioned. He probably really loves you and is thinking he almost messed everything up and now he's over compensating by doing exactly what you said you wanted him to do. Now he's scared to do any of the behaviors he did before because he doesn't want to piss you off. What exactly is the problem now though? I don't entirely get this question. You're in total control of the relationship now and can choose when and how intimate or not intimate you want to be at any time with him.

[greenbeans23]

Do you really have feelings for this guy? I mean those are all things my boyfriend does and I LOVE it-he always tells me his feelings for me and calls me beautiful, can't keep his hands off me, texts me all day long...I feel like if you really loved him you'd want all these things...Maybe you two just aren't meant to be together?

[Asker]

yes I do have strong feelings for him but I also know how I want to be treated in a relationship. I do like what he does, apart from the all over me part, we're middle age not teenagers anymore. I must want to be romanced and not just with words. if I didn't care about him or our relationship I would have dumped his arse last week lol!

[katiesmuff]

Sounds like it might have been a long time for him since his last relationship

[JPorter]

Sounds like one of those guys who just don't "get it." Obsessive types always take things literally, and don't understand the concept of boundaries.

While it is kind of annoying, and I do understand what you mean, you're probably better off just being the initiator for a while. It certainly beats the alternative (him acting like a dog and drooling all over you all the time) and it seems when both of you get a bit more used to things, you'll both calm down and find more of a middle ground.

[MrNameless]

Obsessive types always take thing literally? Where did you get that generalization?

[JPorter]

Studying psychology...

[Anonymous]

he seems to be one of those guys who really need affection and that is his way of showing it.

[hakuna_matata]

awww poor guy