Stupid online dating sites

Why do I attract guys whom I'm not interested in?

I tried 2 websites OkCupid.com and PlentyofFish.com

Well anyway.. the guys whom I seem even a little bit interested in, don't reply to me, but guys whom I'd never like in a million years end up messaging me telling me that I have all the qualities that they want. I don't get it.. these guys don't have any goals or anything set for them. I have a good future, a great personality, and a good head on my shoulders. Only thing is that I'm brown-skinned and curvy.. is that what's seriously messing it up with the guys whom I'm interested in? I know I'm not perfect, but I have really good qualities to offer.. I don't want drug users or guys who are geeks playing video games all day and work at subway.

I quit these sites after like 2-5 days.. it wasn't for me apparently. However, I still want to know what went wrong.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Online dating isn't all its cracked up to be. I've used okcupid and match. I actually dated a girl for a while I met on match.

    As a I guy I have a similar experience. 9/10 people don't respond to me and the ones that do, just stop talking to me after they message me first. Most of the people that actually take interest in me are also what I would consider very unattractive, for lack of a better word. I think this occurs for a few reasons, some are more specific to men so I'll pass on those since you're a girl. I'll only talk about the ones that apply to both genders.

    You're issue is likely that the guys you really want are also being messaged by other very attractive girls that may be more attractive than you. If the guy is that desirable, you're likely not the only girl taking interest.

    Second, is that many times the guys who are both attractive and look good on paper, are overconfident, and get lots of female attention. Therefore they are less concerned about having an actual relationship, and more than likely just want a hook up. Again, simply because they can. If a guy constantly is having women thrown at him, why would he want to only have one?

    Finally, a lot of this is due to what I like to call dating site ADD. This sort of goes hand in hand with the first reason I stated. Dating site ADD refers to the idea, that there are so many people to choose from, and so many tools to find you someone who fits you're ideal traits, that people have a hard time settling on interacting with one person. They keep thinking they can find better, or sometimes they actually do.

    Online dating is essentially a shallow way to date, that trivialize dating into something like shopping for clothes online. There are to many factors to dating that just can't be portrayed or properly dealt through traditional online dating.

    I've been interested in trying something like eharmony since, because they don't have a traditional, open search system, and have to stick with the people they match you with, it eliminates a lot of the above stated issues. Obviously the only down side is that you get matched with people you really aren't physically attracted to, even though the personality test on that site deems the two of you to be perfect matches, based on personality.

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    • i completely agree. I've always wanted to try eharmony and I will aftee college. Right, no more online dating lol. Thank you for answering, I reallu appreciate it :)

    • really* stupid iPod, I didn't realize it messed up lol

What Guys Said 1

  • i just tried online dating recently and I have this problem messaging the attractive women. some my age, some slightly older, some slightly younger, and they all (ALL of them!) seem to think that some older, perfect looking, more successful guy is going to come along and want to go out with them.

    i'm still in college so I CAN'T work an actual decent job yet, don't look like Brad Pitt, but I'm not unattractive at all. I have a future. I don't play games or do drugs. but I just want an attractive girl that has a lot in common with me and common values. I don't see what is even wrong with me. all I see is a bunch of spoiled girls that have impossible standards to live up to.

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    • yes.. but at least you're in college like me (I understand how that works) these guys arent! I want a guy on the same education level as me.. that's not asking for much

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    • a lot of college guys don't, but I do. can't rule all of them out. I'm what you might call "old-fashioned" in terms of my values. I ain't perfect looking either, but I've been told looks don't matter as much to girls and judging from the kind of guys that end up with girls later in life, it seems to be true, so I'm confused why some of these girls are so picky when I have so much to offer them. idk

    • well.. I don't know lol you need girls like me and I need guys like you - end of story

What Girls Said 1

  • Most guys on those websites are seeking for someone to get intimate with. 2nd, don't take it offense that the guys you don't want are after you, they are also trying to get after all the other girls on there even if they don't have a chance with them. 3rd, make sure that you are really at a place where you can say, "I am who I am looking for," meaning if you want an educated guy with a bachelor's degree then you better be at his level. 4th, if you sat back not having to lift a finger then you made a mistake. Most of the great catches are going to expect you to make the first move. I made the first move with my boyfriend and I didn't even have a picture up but that's how lucky I got.

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    • I am where I want to be at (in college, close to graduating). I did contact about 10 guys - 2 replied. Then they quit talking.. so I'm like ok?

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