Is it wrong just to date someone because they're available?

My guy friend made an interesting comment to me the other day. He ranked the girls he liked in order of greatest to least. The girl at the bottom of the list is the most available and even though he doesn't like her the most he said if the opportunity arises he's going to go for it. Is that weird? He doesn't exactly sound like he likes her that much, maybe not even at all? Is it wrong just to date even if you don't like the person, but they're convenient?

  • Yes, it's wrong
    57% (31)50% (13)55% (44)Vote
  • No, it's not wrong
    30% (16)31% (8)30% (24)Vote
  • Other, please explain!
    13% (7)19% (5)15% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Technically... It is not a sin to date somebody just because they are available BUT it is a sin aka wrong.. To lie to somebody, string them along, and then dump them 2 weeks later... lol and saying "Opps, I didn't really like you, I was just dating you until I found somebody I really liked." now that is the wrong part.. to some its not wrong... but if you get the other person emotionally invested it can break their heart... although it may not break yours, it may just weaken your conscious, if they fall in love with you, it could tear their heart apart lol

    Its best to date ONLY if your genuinely interested that way you are 1. not constantly lying to them 2. not feeling like a user lol

    And dating somebody just because they are available shows a little desperateness.. UNLESS you are interested in them.. because sometimes you may not be sure of how you feel but your attracted to them and like them than dating is okay but if your not interested at all.. that's just using somebody

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    • Agreed! I am giving you best answer because you just kind of answered all of the aspects haha. but yeah, I think that's exactly what he did to this girl in hs! liked her for 2 weeks and then moved on! now she doesn't want to be friends with him and he keeps begging.

      but yeah, I know that for me, I'd have to at least like the person a little to date them. otherwise I'd feel really weird or like a user.

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    • Alright thanks :) but yeah I would definitely say dating somebody when your not truly interested is totally using them cause you gotta constantly lie and put up the front that you like them but behind their back your like "Nah I don't really like 'em" to your friends and family and to yourself lol.. its just bad news.. than when they find out 1. They will be pissed or 2. Crushed or 3 both... lol than your gonna look like a big jerk lol so it's best not to even get involved lol

    • haha yeah. agreed! it's just bad. that is all haha

What Guys Said 15

  • Generally it is wrong, but in some cases I think it is acceptable. If I made a list of girls, it would be a list of girls I would potentially date. If it was a list of 5 and I could not date my top 4 I would date number 5. I doubt that people always get their number one potential date. Some have to settle and others have to reasess their standards and what they want from life. Who knows, that number 5 could be "the one" because after getting to really know them they can become more appealing to you.

    If I made a general list of girls (attractive and unattractive) and I was unable to attract any of the ones I found appealing then I wouldn't date the unttractive ones just because they were available because I know that would be selfish and unfair and I would effectively be leading them on. Again I'd have to reassess my standards and what I want and deserve in life and either look harder or live alone.

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    • hmmm interesting lol.

  • No not necessarily,as long as you don't hurt that person, I think its ok.If you are just using the person for sex and playing them then it is wrong,but if you both decide to be friends with benefits then it is a mutual decision and its fine.Just be truthful about how you feel about the person and what you want with them. I mean being alone sucks even if you generally don't care for company.I have always been independent and never needed a girl around(and I have a very high sex drive) but there are times where I wanted one and didn't want to be alone anymore.You never know though he might start dating that person and find out he is really in love with her and wants to be with her more then his top of the list girl.

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    • Voted C because there is certain situations that it would be wrong.

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    • Sounds like he is kinda of a shallow person in general.

    • hm yeah. kind of started to be more noticeable when we went to college. he was always that guy you weren't really sure if he liked the girl or was just creeping on her in hs.

  • no its not wrong, he is weighting his possibilities he is a smart man! If things don't work with the first one he goes to the next one, he is looking after himself and I see nothing wrong with that. It may sound desperate but who gives a f*** about it? Not every body is Orlando Bloom or Brad Pitt to get any girl or get laid any time they want, or are they? Those people that they call him desperate, are probably the same people that tomorrow will wake up with no body beside them, or they will be making love to their hand or vibrator. Who is the actual loser?

    People have to wake up too! Just because you are not head over heels over somebody it doesn't mean that you shouldn't give them a chance, a lot of people fall in love much later in relationships or they find something that they like later on as well and they get married. The opposite is also true, there are people who where crazy in love at the beginning only to brake up 3 months later or 6 months later am I right?

    People if you are alone and you can't find a boyfriend or girlfriend you are probably letting possiblities pass by, probably because you are idealizing relationships, looking for a damzel in distress or a blue prince...

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  • Shit clicked the wrong one. I say A, it IS wrong.

    You shouldn't date someone because they are available- it's nonsense.

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  • Usually a person would do that for sex. I personally think its wrong because you're going to lead the other person on an hurt there feelings since you don't really like them. You're using them for your own pleasure. Not cool.

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    • yeah, I agree. not fair

  • There are many benefits that comes from relationships and if I can get one I will get it too, I will have to feel a little bit of attraction though, there are also a lot of benefits that I don't want to mention. You can also can learn about relationships, grow up and etc.

    If you gave him/her a chance and it doesn't work out, well then brake up! no big deal! who says that you have to marry the first person that you have a relationship with? People that date a lot are people that date people that may not be as attracted to them at the beginning, but they just want to give him/her a chance to see where it goes.

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    • hmm yeah, so you think it's a good idea?

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    • i have to at least like them a bit. I won't date somebody that I don't like even a little. Even if I like you a little I will take a chance on you, I don't have to be crazy for you and infatuate every second for me to give you a chance.

    • yeah, that makes sense. I definitely agree with that. Ok, so liking them at least a little is okay, but what if the girl likes you and you don't like her but you decide to date because she wants you and you think you might come to like that person.. is that okay? I mean, I guess if you figured out you didn't like them you'd have to break it off or else further dating would be using that person.. right?

  • Sounds pathetic to me.

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  • think of it as a temporary job. while you are at that job you keep looking for a better one but you are still employed and getting paid. same with dating. if you don't wanna be alone just date someone who is just OK while looking for a better half. there are exceptions. you might like your temp job so you decide to stay. same with dating you might discover somethig that you like or love about her/him and you decide to stay. so to sum it up no its not wrong. and it is not desparation

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  • Maybe what he meant by "going to for for it" is to slam her and not to seriously date her. Girl fake orgasms, but we guys can fake entire relationships.

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  • If you know you don't like a person there's no point in dating them.

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    • what if you think you might come to like them?

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    • That's what I mean. And if you don't like a person, the least you can do is lust after them before going on a date. Sometimes it's almost as good.

    • haha yeah exactly

  • Why would this guy date a girl that he DOESN'T like...

    ...

    ...

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    ...besides for sex?

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    Sounds like this guy is a huge a**hole.

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    • yeah, he kind of became one in college. we used to be really close in high school, but he started hanging out with a different crowd in college. meh, idk.

  • I voted "A"...because if you don't like the person but just dating them for ulterior reasons then you are a user & a player & an opportunist...):

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    • hm yeah. sorry, this friend and I are super close so that's why we have these convo's. I didn't want to accuse him, but I was like, do you even like this girl? he said he used to and if something potentially came up then he'd go for it because it could probably easily be rekindled. does that make him an opportunist?

    • Yeah..is like saying.."I don't like them but they are the best that is available at the moment..so I will date them until something better comes along..is complete bullsh*t.../:/:/:

    • Yes! That's almost actually exactly what he said! That makes me think less of him. He did this to a girl in high school too and I was like oh it was a one time thing w/e. Now I feel like saying something haha. So I wasn't being too judgmental? Idk, I personally don't believe in just dating to date... but... some people might be different ?

  • It spells desperation...

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  • Sounds wrong to me. I'm assuming he is just hoping to have sex with them or something so he doesn't really care if he likes then

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    • I got that idea too... lame.

  • Desperate

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    • yeah, doesn't it seem that way? I wouldn't date someone just to date them. he's never had a girlfriend though. might be why. maybe I'm too judgmental?

What Girls Said 10

  • Yes. What are you going to stay with a person for years that you don't even like? What if you are with them for awhile and somehow find out they didn't even like you to begin with? Aren't relationships supposed to be about love and sh*t? I voted A. I'm beginning to feel like there is no hope. You get into a relationship and they may not even like you, you get married and they're cheating on you. How can you win in this world? lol. Who can you trust?

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  • Not many really like to be alone. the only time I think it is okay to date someone because they are there is when that someone knows it. I did this in hs for like 2 weeks we ended up friends.. Otherwise I think it's a bad idea. what if one falls in love with the other? Awkward.

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    • Yeah, exactly. I definitely agree.

  • A. If you're going for what's available, I'm guessing they don't really like them. Do they just toss him/her aside when something better comes along?

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  • Yes. How could you even date someone you didn't even like. Unless you're just using them for sex. And that's lower than low.

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    • right? I agree. I went on a date with this guy and decided I didn't like him... so we stopped dating. why hurt him if I don't like him? I don't need to feel needed just because he's available.

  • That really doesn't sound to good, but dating isn't the same as being in a relationship. Dating is to have some fun and get to know someone right. Go on a date then see if you like them or not.

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    • haha yeah, I agree. I think he means he wants to date and hope he comes to like her more. the last guy I dated... I figured out quickly I didn't like him and now we aren't dating haha. it wasn't that hard...

  • No, it's wrong to date someone who isn't available.

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  • I've had this done to me and I've done it to guys. It doesn't feel wrong if he doesn't get hurt.I never wanna hurt anybody, but I don't think its immoral to date around either. I find that if I'm really honest with myself and pay attention to how the guy acts,i know deep down why the guy is after me. After that its up to me to continue dating him..am I really into him from the beginning or am I trying to convince myself because he's filling a purpose

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    • Funny how things change. I dated someone, did this to him, fell in love with him and then he dumped because he didn't think I was as serious. I don't think I'll ever date just to date anymore.

  • I don't think its that wrong.

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  • That's just wrong because your leading them on

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  • No, I mean who knows, maybe you'll grow to like htis person. give it a chance. but don't ever lead someone on

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    • hm yeah, but you have to at least like them a little, right?

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