Who do I choose? Please help!

Within the past month, I met two guys from a dating website. One, we'll call him K, is good looking, well off and very nice (I haven't kissed him yet so I can't tell if physically we mesh). The other, we'll call him R, is kind of nerdy, very fun, and a bad kisser, but I have a really great connection with him.

After going out with K, it would take him days to get back to me. A week ago I took him out on a really nice picnic dinner in the park. I took him 5 days to call me again, and 6 days to ask me out again. This sort of thing peeves me to no end, if I like someone I want to talk to them every day.

After going out with R, he texted me every day (which I love. Guys if you're into a girl let her know, don't leave her hanging, it sucks) and we now talk every night on the phone. I always have fun with him and I loooove cuddling with him. When it comes to making out though, he leaves a lot to be desired. After about a week or seeing each other frequently, are asked me to be his girlfriend. In shock, I said yes. I'm not saying it was a mistake but I'm not sure I'm ready to give up on K yet.

My problem is that K is now asking me to hang out and I'm completely torn. Should I tell are that we need to slow things down and to give me some time? Or should I tell K that it isn't going to work out? I'd feel like an awful person for going back on my word with are but I also want to see where things go with K. But then again I don't want to lose R.

My worry is that if I go back on my word with are that I'll lose him, but things may not go anywhere with K. Please help! I don't know what to do!

Before you say anything about me seeing two guys at once, it was never serious with either of them until are asked me to be his girlfriend.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is one question that needs to be answered first: Is K an introvert?

    If K is an introvert, then not calling or texting for five days is perfectly normal behavior between him and someone he deeply cares about. As an introvert myself, I can attest that I need alone time, and I hate calling someone unless I have some specific reason. I will NEVER call or text someone, even if I am madly in love with them, unless there is something important for us to talk about, because I don't want our conversations to be meaningless, and boring. Introverts usually think that their daily lives are mundane, and, as a result, are not worthwhile topics for conversation. So, unless something big happened, you shouldn't expect a call. The fact that you get one once a week anyway means that you are VERY important to this guy. The fact that he is still asking you out means that he is truly interested. Now, if he is an introvert, though, this will probably never change, no matter what you do, so don't get in a relationship with him if that daily contact thing is mandatory for you, or else, be willing to be the one who calls him, because the problem isn't that he doesn't want to talk, it's that he doesn't know what to talk about. Give him a topic, and he should be happy to run with it.

    If, on the other hand, Mr. K is an extrovert, then his week of waiting before calling probably means he isn't particularly invested in you. As a well off, good looking person, he probably has a few options to choose from in the dating department, and his latent replies may mean that he is keeping those options open until he decides he is ready to commit to one. He is not likely to appreciate you as much as the nerdy bad kisser, because the nerdy bad kisser probably won't have as many potential girls to choose from. In short, if K is an extrovert, I would interpret his behavior as lack of interest and go with the guy who really wants to be with you, as long as you can live with the lack of physical chemistry for a while. If you get close enough to really trust the nerdy guy, you could even be up front about the kissing problem, and try to teach him to do what you like. If the trust is there and you handle his insecurity about it without judgement, you might make a good kisser of him yet.

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    • I'm pretty sure K is an introvert, which makes this situation all the worse.

What Guys Said 2

  • Pick R! He really cares for you and you can always teach him to be a better kisser ;). Don't play K's little games anymore.

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  • I can feel where this is going. Just bang "K" and friend zone "R." There! I saved you the trouble of dragging this out too much longer.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Stay w R and tell K its not going to work out

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  • Who do you like more? Who are you more compatible with?

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    • I feel like I'm compatible equally with both! That's the problem, I want to get to know K better to figure this out, but technically I'm in a relationship now and wouldn't feel right meeting up with him, knowing that he sees it as a date.

    • Hmm... You are in a sour pickle. Make it a friend date with K.

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