Does a person's dating record influence your opinion of them?

Okay so I've met this really really gorgeous girl through work (yes I'm well aware of all the people saying its a bad idea to date anyone from work so please ignore this!) and I'd definitely be "punching above my weight", however she laughs at any little joke I make, no matter how bad it is, and she always comes to chat with me randomly. She always bring up how she went jogging and asked if/where I go.

I have no idea if she likes me or is simply making convo but my question is, I'm sort of "intimidated" I guess because I know some of her ex's and they are mostly all "metro" pretty boys if you know what I mean.

Don't get me wrong I'm fit and healthy but I definitely don't fit the whole "metro" shave-my-chest kind of guy, so should I go for it or not? Is it normal for you to feel intimidated by "hot" ex bf/gfs?

Thanks :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Screw the people who say it does matter, what happened in both of your pasts is only your buisness and dude your kicking yourself down before you even ask her out, I definitely think she likes you from her laughing at even the bad jokes, you would have to like someone a lot to do that lol I mean someone you don't like and they make a lame joke like that you would be like "err... yeh, that's lame" lol but this girl doesn't, she is hooked on every word you say which is a POSITIVE THING!. Stop thinking that people only go for certain types, this isn't true, who cares if you don't fit in with any social group only a sheep would try and fit in with social groups, be your own person and show her that your not like other guys. When you brake up with someone you do it a REASON because obviously you just don't get on so why would she wanna go back with any of her ex's? lol don't be silly. I have no idea what type are "metro" types ether but as a girl who is her own person I hate the whole labeling thing that people do to others, it gives room for you to pre-judge people before you know them from what lies is fed to us, it's what's inside that counts, when you've met so many horrible men that bully you, a guy who will be nice to us is worth far more than those pretty boys who think they are something and you definitely are cute from seeing your picture so don't put yourself down, life isn't worth living if you don't take any risks, don't be so afraid to, it's not your fault when someone rejects you, not everyone is meant to be attracted to you.

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What Girls Said 21

  • They're her ex'es for a reason ;) They didn't mesh well. It's not because her ex'es are lik that, that she's looking for the same type.

    And don't be thinking that you're "punching above your weight", if you're a good guy, then you deserve a good girl.

    I'd say go for it! If you don't, you'll regret it and you'll be thinking "what if" for a long time. Just chat with her and ask her if she wants to meet up outside of work?

    It's normal to feel intimidated by that kind of guys, I'm always too. When I meet a guy I like and I see his ex and she's superhot, I'm like: ugh crap. lol.

    Good luck!

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  • Definitely go for it! My boyfriend now is nothing like my ex's have been. Who cares if she dated metro guys. Perhaps she dated them because they were nice to her and they just seemed to hit it off.

    All my previous bf's had really slim, runner type bodies. My Boyfriend is tall and has a good, solid build. He has broad shoulders and some muscle. My past bf's didn't really have any muscle at all. I find that my relationship with my boyfriend is way better than any before.

    I think if you like her, then why not give it a shot? Sometimes we date people because they are what is available to us in the moment. Some people don't have a specific type, but date who is there at the right time and expresses interest. Not saying she's easy, but maybe she just happened to meet these guys and hit it off and that is who she ended up dating them. Maybe she doesn't pursue metro guys specifically.

    But you never know unless you ask her out!

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    • I should also mention that my exes were anxious and impatient. My boyfriend is really laid back. Plus we have a lot more in common! You just never know.

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    • She definitely sounds interested. Especially if she is making the effort to talk to you everyday. I would just go for it, you are never going to know unless you try!

    • Yeah I think it's at the stage like "I'm paying her attention so she's paying me attention" if you know what I mean? Lol

  • Anyways, maybe she likes you BECAUSE you ARE NOT a metro pretty boy. Maybe she's into your type and she's tired of those kind of guys. You should definitely be flattered that she's going after you because maybe you are her secret type. Honestly, you never know. Some people go after people and fall madly in love with people - that they never expected but it turns out those are their type to.

    Don't compare yourself to them she may be attracted to you BECAUSE you are not like them and you have qualities that she likes.

    For instance if a girl usually goes after funny guys but than sees a quiet guy she may be intrigued and really like the quiet guy and she finds out 'hey I like quiet guys' and it makes her interested in a quiet guy lol

    so.. I don't think you should let it bother you... if she's interested.. types go out the window and that means your her type

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    • If it makes you feel any better.. I started liking this guy because he was quiet and it intrigued me. And I'm like "wow, I kinda like how he's quiet." I'm not saying you should be quiet but I'm saying if a girl likes you.. There's a reason why... and you should be HAPPY that you are NOT like her ex boyfriends that's a good thing that's probably WHY she likes you.

  • First of all relaaaax so you like someone from work it's OK, let future you deal with the ackward silences at work in the future (or the sneaking around and kissing in the janitor's closet at work heck you never know which scenario will work unless you go for it!) I'm kidding lets take it from the top: do not feel intimidated! Girls like confident guys! I'm very cofident myself but when I'm around a guy I find extremely attractive I lose it for a while and that sucks. People date all sorts of different types and maybe she's finally bored of the idiotic dudes you mentioned. My past is full of weird stories and all sorts of people but that's in the past. We change. So don't miss out on this opportunity--go for a jog together and them ask her out for a coffee too! It's cool--the worst that could happen? Not even gonna say anything here cos it looks like she kida likes ya ;) good luck!

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  • It's a normal thing to feel intimidated but think about it this way.. since they're her "ex" it clearly didn't work out therefore you shouldn't compare yourself to them since you'd want a relationship that would actually last. Just be your self so she'll like you for who you are not for who you pretend to be and from what you're saying she already likes you the way you are. :)

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  • If she seems genuinally interested in you, honey, then you shouldn't have to worry about being different. Before you ponder about having to change yourself for this girl, consider what you would ever change about her and why. If you wouldn't change anything, then she probably wouldn't either.

    And don't let anybody tell you that liking someone from work is a bad thing. I met and am still working with my fiancé (:

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  • I wouldn't really care about "types" of people that they dated in the past. My concern would be how many and how long they dated. If they can't hold a relationship for more than a few months, why bother?

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  • Yeah it does , dating someone who's been around a bit is bad because what happens to you when they get bored of you? You just become their 'ex' and get added to their list :/

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    • Well she's only had two Boyfs that I know of and she definitely doesn't fit the slutty girl type, but I could be wrong. Sorry I didn't mean it to come across like she was a someone like that.

  • Yeah I would say it's definitely normal, and the fact that you feel that way is an indicator to go for it because you obviously have feelings for her and from the sounds of it, she likes you too, so give it a chance I hope everything works out, good luck (: ALSO don't change who you are if she doesn't like you then just move on and go for the next girl who will like you for who you are

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  • in this case...no, it should not affect your opinon of her.

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  • Dude, go for it! You can't get rejected if you don't even try! Sounds to me like she's doing a little flirting.

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    • You think so? and like today, we normally work in the same aisle but we all got separated today and my friend talked to her and she said "it's a pity we got split up today" and my friend replied "oh so that's why he (meaning me) was looking sad today" and he said she blushed and cracked a massive cheesy smile lol..

  • She likes you.now think what you have to do.:p

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  • Noo be your self...if she don't like you for you then its not meant and I know you said to ignore it but don't go out her y'all work in the same place things will be awkard believe I did it and never will do it again

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  • yes there is no way round it if you have dated 2 many people, in some peoples books you will be a slut... sozzy

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  • from my observation, it looks like most girls care about a guy's dating record more than a guy does

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  • Yep,it does.

    too many girls = man-hoe

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  • Sometimes if you date someone you work with, you have a small chance of getting fired depending on all what happens.. And what if you and her break up? then it makes things awkward for you at work. I'd say, keep looking for your own sake.

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  • Not really, everyone's dating habits change, I think, at least for me it did. You shouldn't be intimidated by that at all. People fall in like with the person not for their style but for who they are. If she is comfortable around you and seems interested just go for it because the present and future is all that matters now.

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  • Yes, it does. I won't date a person who had lots of exes.

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  • Yes history is important so I know whether or not I'll be another repeat of his past

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  • yes it does

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What Guys Said 11

  • Yeah kinda. Think about it. If this girl has a lot of ex boyfriends, it shows that she either has commitment issues or she gets bored easily. Girls that jump from boyfriend to boyfriend aren't the type you wanna get involved with. You could become another one of those ex boyfriends in a few weeks or however long until she gets bored.

    She may seem really into you but then again she probably was with the other guys and then left them. It's up to you though dude, if you like the girl then go for it but don't expect a long lasting relationship unless you two gel together really well.

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  • Attractiveness matters to women, but if all a woman's ever dated are hot, self-absorbed guys, she might find that your sense of humor and the way you treat her more than make up for anything you might be lacking in the looks department, and from what I can see, you're not exactly what most people would consider "ugly" (relatively symmetrical, no deformities).

    So she might just find you perfectly attractive. There's no accounting for taste, and it's not up to you to judge how attractive you are to anyone else. If you guys are hitting it off and you've already built up some rapport, I'd say go for it.

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  • Oh, but of course. IF they go with anyone who sends money on them, I just make jokes about them. If they have had a recent bad experience, I'm very polite and careful around them. If they are Italian, I pinch them at the first opportunity.

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  • Look at it this way, she hasn't had a successful relationship with one of those gay metro pretty boys. So go for it.

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  • go for it! SOUNDS like she's tired of the metro type and don't be intimidated by her ex's, it will show and she will know it! just be you and go for it!

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  • Unless she has an STD then no. Dating history really means nothing. You don't know everyones personal reasons for doing things. All that matters is that you two are interested in each other and that she/he treats you right in the present.

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  • No

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  • No...

    What matters is here and now...never assume based on the past

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  • of course. I don't to take my heart on risk to a filthy bitch.

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  • for girls yes, guys not so much

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  • First I want to know why people says, its bad idea to date anyone from home?

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    • sorry for mistake, First I want to know why people says, its bad idea to date anyone from work

    • Cuz they say if things don't work out then it can become really awkward because you have to keep seeing that person every time you go to work.

    • they all supied who says that, just go for her, she likes you, never miss this chance Good Luck.

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