I'm in love with 2 men... how do I choose?

I'm in a relationship with this really great, sweet, funny, son of a Pastor, all around great guy. His family hates me and doesn't approve of us, however he, himself, "loves" me to death. We've been going for over 2 months now. He asked me out the day I ended it with my last man. He had been waiting "forever" to ask me out. I knew accepting his date request the day I ended it with my last man would cause complications, seeing how I knew I wasn't over him yet and still hadn't given my heart time to let go of the last guy.

The last guy... drives me insane. When he makes me happy, he makes me HAPPY. But when he makes me angry, he PISSES ME OFF! He's 23, doesn't have a secure job, is a little complicated, has crazy over protective older sisters, and just all around a complicated mess who makes me wanna kill him sometimes. We dated for almost 6 months, and I can honestly say that I loved him more than I ever have been in love with any man before. He makes me so angry sometimes, but we have amazing chemistry! Emotionally and physically. When our eyes connect I can tell there is still something there. The way he looks at me, just the chemicals in our eyes react, you know?

I really, really like my boyfriend. I do! We have a great relationship, and we have relations regularly. He's very sweet, and has even brought me flowers for no reason! He treats me great, and we have so much fun together. But there is something missing that I don't have with him. I don't know if it's because he's more attracted to me than I am attracted to him or if it's just because we don't have much chemistry.

Lately, my ex has been trying to get back with me. He's been going at me non-stop, and keeps telling me how much he can't sotp missing me, etc. He's been trying to see me at every oportunity he gets! He sincerely wants me to come back to him. The whole time we were dating I felt like he might cheat on me, he never did, but the doubt was there. He never bought me a Christmas present or nothing, which doesn't bother me, it's just my boyfriend now treats me so much better! Bring me flowers for no reason, etc, but I still don't feel something for my boyfriend I had with the last guy! I don't understand why this great guy isn't "making my emotions react" like the last mess of a man did!

What should I do?! Should I end the relationship I'm in now because I know it isn't working either way? Should I dump my man for my ex and look like a complete bitch? Should I keep in mind how much of an ass my last man was and block his number from my phone? Should I just become single and do who I want when I want? Help me, I'm losing my mind over this!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Typical head over heels for the bad boy syndrome. Let's see, your ex isn't really goig anywhere in life, doesn't have a job, treats you bad, but makes you feel incredible when you two are not at each others throats. Your current boyfriend is nice, smart, and treats you exceptionally well yet you don't feel that excitement that you felt with your ex.

    Here are your options: break up with your current boyfriend and go back to your ex and put up with him treating you like crap OR stay with you boyfriend and completely get your ex out of your life. Normally I wouldn't say that, but you have a boyfriend now and you can't have an ex in your life who treated you badly and is always contacting you while you're with your guy. It's incredibly unfair to your curent boyfriend, even if you're not cheating or anything.

    You always have the option of just being single and sorting things out without them both. This route though tends to lead to the girl going back to the guy who treated her bad.

    I feel for you, it's not easy being a woman and you've got yourself in a pretty twisted situation with different emotions flying everywhere, just know that it's very easy for someone to get hurt, most likely you or your current boyfriend or both.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think, perhaps, you need some time to be single. Not to 'do who [you] want when [you] want', but just to clear your head from the influence of foreign amour. Get rid of them both, and set up your life in a way that you're able to be single and be alright. Then think of boysss.

    Which is a sin towards your current boyfriend, and I really commend him for being with you against his parents disapproval, but I think, really, for you, you need to sort your head out. I don't think either of these guys are right for you, as you are right now, y'know?

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  • Doesn''t sound like you should be with either.

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  • Well definitely don't get back with your ex. He sounds like a giant loser so I would try my best to avoid him at all costs. Give the nice guy a chance for once and try to develop a more sexual relationship with him. That can honestly change the feelings in a relationship. I say give the nice guy a chance and if there still isn't that chemistry than you're better off single.

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  • Typical.

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  • Definitely don't live for yourself. Live for God, and give Him the glory. This life is short, and eternity is better. Sex before marriage is un-exceptable and you won't enjoy it 1/10 as much as if it were within the unity and bonds of marriage.

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  • You were talking to and liked another man while in a relationship with another. You can't be trusted. Drop them both and re-evaluate your flirty personality

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  • Sorry, but you can only be in love with one person at a time, that's how it works.

    Love is when you think that person is just so uniquely qualified to touch your spirit, two at the same time is impossible.

    Only you know which you love, if you even love one of these two gusy.

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you love two, go for the second, because if you really loved the first you would have never fallen for the second

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  • well personally I think your boyfriend now is sweet and I would personally pick him but if you aren't feeling that spark I think you should seriously think about that. I would firstly probably block your ex out of the picture I don't think that is helping anything, I don't think that he is good for you and see where you can get to with your boyfriend now. if you do not start realizing your love for him soon I would break it off but I would just start fresh and live for yourself

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