Asking "Can I kiss you?"

What's your opinion on being asked if you can be kissed? Turnoff?

I think it's kind of a turnoff when the guy asks because it shows he's not confident enuff to go for it, but at the same time, if I'm not feeling it, I'd rather him not pop one on me.

Regardelss, I think there's always a special moment when you both just know, "ok, this is the part where we kiss."

What do you all think?

Updates:
I'm sorry, but it totally ruins the moment if you ask.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find it a huge turnoff. If he wants to kiss me then he should just do it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • We don't live in an age where men can be men and take initiative anymore.

    Given the oppertunity, I would definitely kiss without asking. But overtime, I became an asker... soon those requests became apologies... and then... nothing.

    It's sad really. My fear was that I would have to ask first, or otherwise I would be accused of doing something inapropriate, and from there it would get blown out of preportion.

    It's dicey territory, because some women will like to be asker, others will expect us to "man up" and take the initative.

    This is what we have become. Men can't be men anymore.

    Ever wonder why there are so many creepy guys out there?

    It's because we are all too worried over what would happen than what should happen.

    If I was in my element, I would take the initative, and kiss without asking.

    But in this world, sadly, I must do what is expected.

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    • It's what you make of it. So I disagree. You're blaming other things for your lack of confidence.

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    • There is a difference between overcoming shyness and being a bitch.

      There is no easy way out. You had to overcome what you had to get past it. That doesn't mean you make those of us who haven't found our path yet feel like we're pathetic just because we're gentlemen.

      Nice guys always finish last because we wait, we ask, we take our time, and consider the feelings of our intended.

      THAT is confidance.

    • Wow sweet. smh

  • If we're talking first kiss, I'd suggest they guy move in to within an inch of lip-lip contact, then let her close the distance, rather then ask. If she doesn't close the distance, back off, maybe try one more time later.

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    • That's what I was talking about

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    • I've heard this argument before.

      I'd like to ask what, exactly, the terrible repercussions in 'our current society' would be if you tried to kiss a woman on a date and she ducked it/didn't reciprocate?

      Some guys seem confused by workplace (and often covers school) sexual harassment laws vs what is 'okay' in a public place or on a date. They are totally different situations.

    • I will admit, I am confused by it all.

      I can apologize for my outburst, if sweet_18 will apologize for hers.

      If it were to continue it would have opened more points of arguement that distract from her actual question.

  • Why is it that women say there are no good men out there anymore...they are all pigs and jerks who use women. But if a classy guy shows a woman his respect for her, by asking a simple question...this somehow makes him a "WIMPUS AMERICANUS" who lacks in self confidence? Men are damned if they do, and damned if they don't.

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    • Agreed. Confidance has nothing to do with it.

      It's the changing attitudes of society that dictates it's behavior s. And we as men are being painted into a corner.

      Women don't know how much power they actually have.

    • I think they know how much power they have...but they will never admit it. This love game is war...where men have BB guns, and women have F-16's!

  • Relationships are all about communication. Sometimes, people don't read the nonverbal communication. If that happens, it is polite for the guy to ask.

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  • it kinda depends where it is.

    if your in a romatic place yea go for it but like if your in the toilet and he comes in to kiss you that would be joooooookes

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  • Unless that moment is really obvious, it's unreasonable to expect a guy to just go for it if he isn't sure. Too many problems, including even legal ones, can result from that these days. So I think it's best to err on the side of caution rather than hoping your boldness pays off.

    I know what you're asking though, the above is just an example. When in doubt, the story book romance situations usually aren't best.

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    • "it's unreasonable to expect a guy to just go for it if he isn't sure." Agreed

  • Asking to kiss a girl is pretty normal but it's probably not something you would see in a movie which wouldn't be a problem unless that's where you get all your experience from. It depends on your level and class though. Some people with inbred tendencies don't like to be asked to be kissed or anything after that. They prefer a guy to ravish them under a tree without any prior warning. You are what you are.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It ruins the moment and makes him seem like he's not sure of himself or very perceptive. My boyfriend @ 13 asked me this question. I'm a grown woman now and if an adult man asked me this, it'd come off awkward and not sexy.

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  • unless I'm starring in a movie or something, then I wouldn't want to be asked lol. in real life I'd rather just get kissed. like BAM. not that slow inching in stuff lol

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  • i think it should come natural and more romantic then can I kiss you.

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  • doesn't ruin the moment if he whispers it

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    • hahah yeah but that's part of it really, cause if he's whispering it then you guys' faces are already pretty close

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    • He probably is a p****. I mean by 30, you should have overcome that awkwardness stage a long time ago

  • Well... if we're not going out and we're just on a date or something, I think it would be quite cute. But if we were dating, it'd be a bit weird because he's my boyfriend and he doesn't have to ask for one. Kinda ruins the moment :)

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    • There's the point I wanted to make earlier. The question asker didn't establish relationship bounderies.

      I would take the initative and kiss my partner if we were involved. Before hand, then I would ask.

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