Can I go on a date with another guy if I'm just dating someone?

I'm dating this guy for 5 months. We had the talk about a month ago, I asked him where things were going. He said that he was happy with where we were. At the time, we were dating each other exclusively, although we didn't have the exclusivity talk. But he also acknowledged that our relationship was kept pretty casual, and that he wasn't necessarily looking for a long-term thing, and wanted to see where this will go.

Is this an agreement of exclusivity? Another guy asked me if I wanted to go see a movie. I thought he knew that I was dating someone, but now I'm not sure. Would it be rude to go see this movie with the new guy?

My issue is the following:

1. When I last tried to have the talk, about 4 months into the relationship, my date said that it scared him and that if I was just looking for long-term, maybe we're not compatible. So I don't want to have another talk since it'll just scare him.

2. I think it would be rude to go see a movie alone with another guy, since I've kind of suspected that he has a crush on me anyway, but I don't want to sound like I'm giving my date an ultimatum. It sounds like, we're either going to be super exclusive and committed, or I'm going on a date with this other guy.

3. I don't think NOT telling him is an option. But if I told him, I'm afraid of sounding like I'm trying to get him to be jealous.

I'm not impressed with my date's lack of ability to commit, and I've been seriously considering breaking it off. But other than that, he's been totally respectful to me, and I don't want to do things behind his back while we're kind of dating. What would you do in my case?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you told him about this other date, would he get mad? if he does, then you know it's an exclusive thing.

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    • See, I have no idea if he's going to get mad or not! That's exactly my problem! So I'm trying to figure out how he's going to react to it.

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    • But I don't want to sound like the desperate girl who is trying to make him jealous or give him an ultimatum...

    • You're going to need to be honest with him, or you're never going to be satisfied.

What Guys Said 3

  • What sort of commitment are you looking for? If you date someone exclusively for almost half a year the next commitment step is usually moving in together. That is assuming exclusivity even exists, which doesn't seem clear in your case. You need to talk to him again like you did a month ago and if his response is the same you need to tell him that the relationship isn't exclusive and see how he reacts.

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  • it would be completly rude and selfish on your part. if your not happy with your current boyfriend... at least have the decencey to dump him BEFORE you start seeing someone else. but if you do dump him... don't go running back to him cause none of your other dates worked out.

    Dont leave the one you love for the one you like, cause the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

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    • He's not her boyfriend though. He straight up told her they were casual and not long term.

    • sorry... I must have missed that part. if your wanting something more serrious... go for the other guy :)

    • Haha he does tell people (our mutual friends) that we're dating if they ask, so it's all weird. I don't think he's opposed to the idea of a long-term relationship, I think he's nervous about getting into a serious relationship after 5 months of dating. I don't think I love him, but I like him enough that I'll think hard about all this. Thanks!

  • If you are intimate with one guy, you must let the other guy know BEFORE you are intimate with him.

    Failure to give full disclosure is WORSE than LYING.

    Leaving someone in the dark is the equivalent of being ABANDONED.

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