Why isn't he contacting me?!

So me and my boyfriend got back together 2 weeks ago. In our previous relationship we had a problem where I wouldn't hear from him for 3 or 4 days at a time, even when I tried texting and calling him. It got annoying because I had no idea what was going on with him so I broke up and it seemed like he forgot about me for 3 weeks.

But then he calls me and apologizes and says he's been going through stuff, and that he's changed. He asked to get back together so I thought a lot and said yes. At the time of this he texted me all the time and everything.

So its 2 weeks now into this relationship and the same things happening from before. I try getting a hold of him, nothing.(its been 3 days since I've heard from him) And he always has his phone. So I need help on how I should handle this because I really want to fix this! Thanks.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Hmm... part of it is that we men naturally don't think about our girlfriend "all the time" unless we truly are in love with them. Ok when I say we men I mean me, but this is true (on varying levels for a lot of guys)...why? I like being independent. I don't think "Oh I need to go to the store, I should totally bring my girlfriend because then I can stare at her for hours and hours". No I go to the store, get some gas, go back to the store because I forgot the damn milk, and then go home. We men don't mean to be "mean" we just don't think about the "social" aspect of our normal daily routine. If we ARE thinking about the social aspect of a relationship, it's also because we don't want seem "whipped" and "at every beck and call for a girl". Think about it, you both are young and he isn't "in love" with you. If you want someone to be talking to you everyday then you just need to find a different boyfriend who gives you your needs (I'm saying this on a general level, all women deserve their specific needs) but you aren't going to be able to change him and you shouldn't. It should come from him and him only. He will change (to some degree) but don't expect it until he is in his later 20's when he builds more "compassion" and "selflessness" (for SOME of us men it takes a while before we grow into more wiser men. I'm not even in my "later 20's" and I don't think what he is doing is "wrong"...it's just not "right" for you.

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  • You know, people need a little space. Maybe he really is going through something. But the best thing HE could have done was be honest and let you know what's been going on, you are his girlfriend after all.

    So ask him next time just to be honest and that if he needs time out, that he needs to tell you BEFORE he does it. It's incredibly rude to just ignore your girlfriend and disrespectful. However, realize that you also could be a tad too clingy. But if he were to just be honest and more aware of your feelings, then you wouldn't be. Talk to him about it, and don't fret over it. :)

    Hope that helps.

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    • Thank you! But he said he's been fine now, like nothings wrong anymore so I'm worried. If a guy doesn't text his girl in 3 days does that mean something bad?

    • Well HE might be fine, but you aren't. It wouldn't help if you were a little more assertive. Ask him why he was so distant the past few days, and tell him if he needs space he should just tell you rather than ignore you. Take a stand, do not be recessive.

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