Whats a man to do when he's torn between two?

i dated this guy for about 3 months but it didn't last because he had a psycho ex girlfriend .. they're not officially together but I know he still talks to her and goes to her apartment to have sex sometimes .. me and him were friends w benefits for the past year but we haven't had sex in about 2 months .. but we are together every weekend .. me and my sister are friends with all his friends so we all always hang out .. I fell really hard for him and I still do care about him .. I'm confused now though because I was under the impression that we are just friends but then we were together sat night and he was all over me hugging me kissing me acting jealous when I was texting my cousin because I have her stored with a heart next to her name and I guess he only saw the heart and not her name so he was questioning me .. then he past a comment like "im torn between two girls - this one is crazy (me) and the other one is crazier (his ex) .. I just don't know how to feel or what to believe because he's played so many games in the past so I'm very insecure when it comes to him .. my sister swears that he still cares about me .. she says she can tell by the way he looks at me but I don't know .. someone please help !


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What Guys Said 1

  • Your sister is correct and her evidence is convincing

    The ex has a sex string on him and expects him to conform to her wishes as "payment", most of which are too controlling for him/anyone to obey, so she acts crazy to keep in line ... as much as possible. He is addicted to her good side & ssex but will never measure up to her obey desires. This can go on for years unless you step in to stop it and save him. I see this as a parallel to my past.

    If you want him and away from the ex, you will have to be more aggressive than even her. How far are you willing to go to claim this prize? Throw studs her direction? Block her events with him by planning your own? Basically, you will have to invest the extraordinary time to be with him as close to 24/7 as possible, to smother the ex out. This may also mean doing whatever the hell he wants to do and be happy about it.

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    • she's very obsessive and I know its hard for him to get away from her and he keeps her around because he knows he can go there whenever he wants .. she has her own apartment and I don't .. he obviously can't love her too much if he still keeps me around .. I know that besides her I'm the only other girl that his been in his life for this long .. its just really hard to trust him or believe anything he says .. he likes to joke a lot so I never know when to take him serious ..

    • This really isn't about HER, regardless of what you are lead to believe. This is all about HIM and he IS in control. May I suggest you change your focus from her to YOU & what you are going to do about all this ... e.g. you are going to begin attracting him to spend more & more time with your complements, et al. until she has no hold on him.

    • i know its not about her but him and I don't have that kind of relationship where we talk about our feelings for each other .. he has too much pride and will never admit his true feelings for me .. he also has a lot of trust issues which is a huge issue .. we hang out every weekend but he never calls ME , he always calls my sister because they became really good friends .. I don't think he wants me to know that he still cares but he threw me off this weekend when he was all over me .. its complicated

What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like he is a "player". It's hard when your intimate with someone, not serious, and have feelings for him. If you don't want to get hurt, I would suggest moving on, and fiding someone who will respect you more. Stuff like your in can lead to drama with the crazy Ex. BE CAREFUL. and remember, your worth more then to be "on the side". It's up to you.

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    • ur right and I have moved on .. I was just with someone else for the past 3 months but that too didn't work out .. its just a hard situation .. I know me and him will never be together because his ex is obsessed and will never go away but he obviously can't love her too much .. I'm not getting my hopes up and I'm gonna continue to talk to and date other guys but I can't get him off my mind since Saturday .. he's also the tipe that has too much pride and will never admit his feelings to me ..

    • well then just have fun with it while you can and be smart. try not to worry about the silly things. then after this is over, some realllllllly hott guy who wants you will come along and confess his TRUE feelings. Good luck.

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