How to correctly bring up through online dating emails that you want to meet in person?

So how long is acceptable to email back and forth about unimportant "small talk" until you can actually meet someone in person? I've emailed with many women on the internet and have only gotten past that with one person. She gave me her number in an email and we started texting and then she randomly stopped and didn't return my texts. Am I just screwed and have to make small talk over online dating site emails until the women decide to give me their phone number or go to the next level? It seems like you spend 1-2 months online emails, 1-2 months texting, 1-2 months phone calls, before you even meet in person. And by that time you've waited so long that the person that walks in the door is someone totally different than you imagined, hence a huge disappointment and waste of your time. Is there a way to politely explain to women online that you are ready to move to the next step and meet in person, without making them think you are a predator or something?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I always found that an issue with the guys I talked to when I was online. They always told me that I was one of the few that was actually willing to meet. I know how frustrating that can be. How else are people supposed to know if they are compatible if they don't meet in person? I always found that strange.

    I think you need to be upfront early on that you intend on meeting them in person somewhere to further get to know them early on. This establishes that you are serious and are wanting to meet.

    Obviously give it a couple of weeks, but if after that she is still wavering, she probably will never want to meet you. So don't waste your time.

    I think that at tops, a month is the longest you should wait. My boyfriend and I probably were talking online for a couple months. But we were both super busy and any time we tried to make plans, they fell through. But once he was free and I was free, we met and haven't been away too long since :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think you should just being honest with them. like you could say' I'm a really down to earth person, hope you can understand or so." I mean if a woman back off just because you were being honest with her, or she doesn't accept your way of dating then she is not worth your time.

    there is nothing wrong that you wanted to actually meet the person before you making effort on this relationship. So, yea, just keep looking, you will find someone that understands you and also meets all your requirements at the same time.

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  • Dont be afraid to ask. You have talked to this person for what seems like 4-6months. I met a guy through the internet and we talked online for a month. Then texting for 2 weeks and then we met in person. Just go for it...I would start off by saying "We have talking for so long I feel like I've known you for so long and I think we should take another step by meeting each other in person." The guy I met would always said taht he wanted to see the wonderful woman behind all the messages and words." he would even say that he wanted to see me when it was dark and rainy outside..just out of random cute messages like that until I finally did.

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What Guys Said 1

  • 5 email at max then you should be asking to meet up.

    What to say, "Hey, I've enjoyed talking to you. Would you like to meet up sometime." Let her give the OK or not OK to meet up before you make any plans. This way she doesn't feel like your pushing her to do something and it becomes her decision. Then she'll either say yes, give you her number, you wait whatever time length you feel is necessary (no more than 2 days though) and call her and make arrangements to meet. I suggest you give her your number through text or email after she gives you hers, so she doesn't ignore your call thinking your a telemarketer.

    If she says no or doesn't answer then at least you did not waste too much time talking to someone who isn't interested enough to meet in person.

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