Is it wrong to date someone just so you're not alone?

So before anyone makes a judgement call on me based on my question,I'm not shallow, I swear. I'm just so tired of being single and being alone for two and half years now that I truly just want to find a way of not being alone anymore. Also I started writing this to answer the one question above but as you'll see there are underling questions from the one.

Anyways, because of this inability of being in a relationship after I graduated college, I joined a dating site. Through it I started talking to a girl who seems really nice and I honestly like her personality. So I asked if she wanted to meet up some time, which we did and ended up sitting outside talking for almost 2 hrs. Well the issue is while I wouldn't say she is unattractive, I don't see her as being my attractive (if that makes any sense). I guess to put it another way, if I saw her from across a crowed room, she wouldn't catch my eye. but like I said her personality (for the bit I know) I'm attracted to.

With that being said I have no clue what to do? Part of me wants to see her again because I want that attention that only a significant other can provide and I want to be able to dote on someone that I care about again. But part of me says I would be settling if I did so and what about if I miss the opportunity to meet "the one" because I am focusing on this person that I'm indecisive about. But then again what if I do pass her by and continue to be alone, AND I'M TIRED OF BEING ALONE!

I have no clue what to do? and so there in came the thought, " Maybe I could just go on a few dates with her just so I am not alone."

Also I found out tonight that even though we never met before (and I checked on this, and its true) her brother is friends with my friends. So if I did say this isn't going to work to her or go on dates with her just so I'm not alone I don't want my friends to look down on me because of it.

IF someone could please help me I'd really appreciate the advise. Thank you in advance!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand you're alone, I know how it is to be lonely but I don't think you should pursue her. I don't think it's fair to just settle, for her or you. You and her need to find people and be with people you love. And for her to find a man who finds her beautiful on the inside and out. And a women who finds you attractive on the inside and out.

    I know if I found out a man I was dating didn't find me attractive I would be sad and feel like I was a waste of time to you and possibly like you were a waste of time to myself. I want to be with a man who finds me beautiful, and loves everything about me.. flaws and all. And I think a lot of women do. I wish I was in a relationship often, but then I think "what if they didn't even find me attractive?" There are a lot of things that make me not want to be in a relationship and I am lonely. I think for the sake of both of you find someone you really WANT to be with, and let her find someone who really WANTS to be with her.


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What Girls Said 4

  • How about,YOU let her go so SHE can find the ONE.

    When you act on circumstances in life,always think..."What if someone does this to me?" What you're thinking about doing is completely selfish and counter productive. If someone actually did this to you,you would be heart broken.I think you are smart enough to decipher the right decision here. If you have to ask,"Is it wrong..." It most likely IS. It's just that you are seaching for some over-riding validation concerning doing it. Tisk,tisk. You know better than that.

  • I get what you're saying. I was once tired of being alone~~ and honestly, this whole concept had crossed my mind too. BUT,

    for her sake and for your sake, I wouldn't get her hopes up by dating her for only a few weeks or going out on a few dates unless you really feel like down the road you could like her like that. Just saying, you don't want things to end up badly :)

  • I don't know if its wrong or not but honestly I've thought about doing the same thing every once in a while when I am feeling lonely but I've never gone through with it only because I don't want to mess with other peoples emotions so sorry if that didn't benefit you

  • it's completely wrong and leading on your partner.


What Guys Said 1

  • I have the exact same problem!